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Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
It's been months since I've ever seen you

I haven't spoken to you since may or june

But I got in the mountains and I can't stop thinking about you
481 · Jul 2019
Untitled
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
Who really finds true love at 16 anyway
332 · Jul 2019
Its a shame
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
This boy and I knew each others turn ons and turn offs but he couldn't even spell my name right
303 · Jul 2019
Why
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
Why
What I'll never understand about boys
Is how they can't love us
Yet they constantly play with our hearts like toys
271 · Oct 2019
Untitled
Jasmin Jackson Oct 2019
My man had me paint his nails but because he's a *****
Yall look at him like his heart's frail
Is there a problem if it is?
He cries and is emotional
But that cant be appropriate
Because he's black he can't not live like this
But we don't really care
259 · Aug 2019
The rare ones
Jasmin Jackson Aug 2019
What's the point of putting my guard down?
I'm just going to mirror a clown
That's how relationships always end
For me
But you're playing some different trick on me
You're not saying the googled pick up lines
Your flirting is foreign to me
Like you just flew in from Tuscany to find me
190 · Oct 2019
Unexcused Absence
Jasmin Jackson Oct 2019
I shuffled into the decades old building
The dark velvety purple chairs lined up
The smell of oil and dust from the books stacked up in symmetrical rows seap into the four corners of the room
The walls were supposed to make you feel hope and comfort
But not on that day, not ever again since 2010

"Put your head down" my mother whispered strictly into my ear
As we collectively pass the opened church doors
But being the stubborn Taurus I am
I had to look up out of curiosity
Despite my mother's firm grip trying to keep my neck down

Beyond the aisle separating the two sides of the church she lied
In her delicate creamy white casket
Her eyelids closed shut for her mahogany irises will never be seen again
Her slightly chapped lips in a tight line
I'll never hear her nicknames for me
Those lips will never part

The mornings with salty noodles and streaming phineas and ferb
The afternoons watching judge Judy
The reading together, the joking around
Gone
Gone
Gone
For the great aunt I share those moments with lies helplessly in a casket soon to be buried
Only I have those memories now
164 · Sep 2019
letting go
Jasmin Jackson Sep 2019
explode.
for 12 year old me, that first kiss made my heart explode
when he cheated on me at 13 I wanted to grab everything he gave me and throw it in the fire
I wanted to stand there and watch every love letter burn and inhale the smoke
the thought of it brought a sensation to my belly
it made me feel like my sanity has broken to pieces
he broke my heart to pieces
for 13 year old me, it felt like he reached into my heart and crumbled it in his fist
my heart gets a little sore whenever I see him
because he took a part of me when we parted ways
he took my happiness and ran with it
he holds my 13 year old joy like an innocent girl holding a delicate flower
he stood in sunshine while I stood in rain
he had sunny California days in the 7th grade while mine were gloomy with melancholy and pain
i wish my middle school days didn't go this way
sloppy with pizza breath kisses and arguments with his hateful racial slang
I wish I ran away the first time I had the chance
but at 14 years old my bad memories of him seemed to fade away
like ash it went up to disappear
I took him back and I gave him everything
that a 14 year old girl could give
in 8th grade I should've focused on schoolwork but the thoughts of him was all thought surrounded my brain
freshman year, February
15 year old me had enough of it
I looked back at the bad times from 13 and kept repeating it in my head like a broken toy
i looked at him and i freshman year and saw no joy
he threw so much negativity at me and made so much noise
it made his anger feel electric
its like he was the socket and i was his plug
but then water drowned us and we can't fit
electric
no more of it
now it's toxin.
147 · Aug 2019
Sweden
Jasmin Jackson Aug 2019
Free Rakim, free Rakim
The streets of Harlem aren't gonna stop chanting that until they free him
This man is just another victim
Another victim of it
A victim of racial injustice
He didn't do anything
But get followed by down blocks and blocks in a foriegn country
And now he's the one looking at jail time
The months will be more than three
137 · Jul 2019
2019
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
I'm part of this pop culture but I don't really get it

Can someone please tell me why anxiety and depression has become some sort of addiction

Tell me why these suicide rates are rising like its trending

And can someone answer my questions because I feel like no one listens

I've got so many dreams but my skin color and gender tell me to quit it

I wish I could prevail and have a fan base all wishing

To take pics with me and write me letters stating that I changed their lives

But I'm a black 16 year old girl I'm better off rolling dice
136 · Oct 2019
Taken
Jasmin Jackson Oct 2019
Your energy makes me go mad
I've never met someone so **** similar
The way you look at me like I'm gold
Your deep attractive calming voice
It gives me comfort and sanity
I feel like you could sing me to sleep
Or tell me sweet little nothings

You treat me like a princess
Something every father wants their daughter to feel like
The way you smile oh my god
I just want to say something stupid to hear that laugh
Again and again

It's something about you
You're the reason the sky is so blue
Most of my days now consist of me thinking about you
And trust me I'm not complaining
Every Frank Ocean song I hear now
I think of you and I
Hanging out at the park playing "self control"
Cuddling and hearing "moon river"

I feel like I'm thinking too far but I dont wanna backtrack
I really hope you're okay with that
I hope we can go together to hear Tyler rap
You're too cool and you don't even know it
I'm starting to like you if you haven't noticed
134 · Oct 2019
Untitled
Jasmin Jackson Oct 2019
He never responds
He told me I'm pretty but he never responded
For a whole year I kept thinking what I did wrong
Why did I get ghosted
Jasmin Jackson Nov 2019
Beautiful, bold,brilliant, black.
Behind bars, bankrupt, bloodthirsty, black.

Only a few commit crimes,
Yet my whole race is attacked.
Death certificates always forget to add a fact
These boys, they're black,
And that's all there really is to that.

Seen as thugs and cops only see that,
Hoodies on, face down, oh no, it's a threat!
Who cares if he was just mourning the death
Of his grandfather, brother, cousin or lover,
Who cares about his story,
His dark complexion screams felony.
And because of that, a boy's dead at 17.
And they wonder why the graduation rates are dropping.

Framing the fallen angel as someone he didn't want to be,
On the tv screens for the majority to see,
For the majority to believe that this was meant to be.
But to me and my black community,
Black is beautiful, bold and brilliant.
These murderers on paid leave may tell you something different,
And I know that line is controversial but please hear me out and listen,
I'm a black teen in 2019 surprisingly still living,
And for those who unjustly died, I'll voice my opinion.
125 · Oct 2019
Sol
Jasmin Jackson Oct 2019
Sol
Somethings in those coffee brown eyes
It's the way you stare, nothing can compare
The way those hands roam my body like we were sculpted together
Those secret places were meant for you
And you only
I've never felt so selfish
If a girl came at you I swear I'd hurt a *****
And I'm scared because I know I actually mean it
Theres something **** in those eyes
Your ***** words leave me surprised
With you, I truly feel alive
I never thought I could get as high
Without taking something
I'm addicted to you
I'm obsessed with me and you
I dont know but something about you gives me euphoric clues
About spending forever with you
I normally dont think like this but **** baby
I really really like you
That sleepy **** deep voice
You look me in the eyes and call me baby
That **** cancels out all the noise
Because of you I forgot about the other boys
**** last year all I wanna do is be with you
Holding your hand
**** gives me sanity
The way you spot me in a crowd
I finally found him
I found the ******* boy I've wanted
And while you were in Glendale I was in the city by the sea
Waiting impatiently for our worlds to meet
Jasmin Jackson Aug 2019
It's funny how when things for once dont go your way
You break a 6 year chain
And give me pain
Because I called you out on your game
I can't be played
And now you're ashamed
Because I didn't dumb down to your ways
121 · Nov 2019
Untitled
Jasmin Jackson Nov 2019
My **** means so ******* much to me but I **** at deliveries
I guess my talents aren't as big as they're supposed to be
I don't know how I'll make money when I'm 23
I doubt I'll even live to be 23
120 · Aug 2019
Untitled
Jasmin Jackson Aug 2019
Sometimes it's hard for me to see the difference between love and hate

Because people that say they love me give me more hate than anything these days

But they claim it's the so called "tough love" in their veins

But I wonder when the real love will make it's way
116 · Sep 2019
Conversations with myself
Jasmin Jackson Sep 2019
You're not good enough
You're too fat
You aren't fit
Your lips are too big
Your shoes aren't clean
You're a disgrace
Quit looking at yourself in the mirror before the **** mirror breaks
He's not gonna like you because you're not pretty
You're not rich
Your phones mascot is a robot not an apple
You don't even have social media
He doesn't know you
You ****
114 · Sep 2019
Untitled
Jasmin Jackson Sep 2019
You make everything seem like I do it on purpose
Maybe it's because you're a middle child and you crave the attention
I forget to do something one time
And you throw your rage unto me
You lose all sense of sanity
Your anger towards me forces my environment to be silent
I'm forced to endure your ******* hums
Another Christian rock song
All because of the fact
That I forgot to vacuum last night

You say you don't ask for much from me
But I guess that translates to I must be perfect
I don't know how to be
I'm sorry its 70 degrees and I just want to wear a hoodie

Literally the small things I do to you point out
Then you go insane like a clown
You say I don't care about what you say
But if I didn't give a ****, I'd have my own place
112 · Sep 2019
The 3rd quarter
Jasmin Jackson Sep 2019
Being alone makes me cry
Being alone makes my pride die a bit inside
Being alone tears up my insides
Because when I'm alone I realize
That I'm just as much of a loner as I was in 9th grade
The only difference is that my hairs a different color
And I have friends to hang out with
But are they truly my friends
Can I confide in all of them?
I don't know
But I'm still grateful for them
Because during the school day I gain a bit more confidence
But that sisterly love
I don't know man
I think I'll find that when I'm in college
112 · Sep 2019
Boys
Jasmin Jackson Sep 2019
Boys.
They know how to unclasp a bra strap,
but they can't open a door.

Boys.
They can't call you beautiful,
but they'll make you tell them their worth
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
Those dark brown curls
They got my head going in circles
You've got those mesmerizing light eyes
And your smile makes angles cry
I'm not gonna lie
I want you to be mine
Hold your hand and be by your side
Play with your gold chain
You can call me a fool
But honestly I just took like 40 hits off this juul
So i don't know if any of the **** i just said sounds cool
But I think you and I can be the couple of high school
Maybe if I actually talked to you rather than focusing on not drooling
God, your gorgeous freckles are so appealing
I'm not a fan of your champion backpack but you got me thinking
About romantic ****
I don't even really like lovey ****!
But I wonder if I talked to you
Do you think we'd make it?
98 · Sep 2019
Untitled
Jasmin Jackson Sep 2019
Watching Martin at age 8 the start of black culture for me

But in high school it seems like everyone's got the audacity

To say the n word like they came from the seas
97 · Jul 2019
Boys in high school
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
So it's ok for me to kiss you and do whatever makes you happy

But when you disrespect me and I get ******* you call that overreacting

The many times you'd get fed up with my music taste

I turned off the indie music to play you some Drake

Whatever makes you happy

Who cares if I'm happy

You say you do with your lousy halfhearted embrace

You told me you love me

But you can't even spell my first name

Being with you is like being on a blind date

Sometimes guys can't seem the phantom

That girls aren't meant to just sit and be pretty

And girls aren't dolls you tear apart and put back together

Our moods don't depend on the sunny California weather

But when a guy has problems we're supposed to sit and listen to everything

Then we kiss them to fix it

That's why I think I'd be better off

Going on a blind date

Maybe he'll spell my first name the right way
96 · Aug 2019
Tupac Shakur
Jasmin Jackson Aug 2019
Tupac Shakur
Cheesey smile, all allure
Your revolution started years ago
But I still want more
I want more of your music
I want it deep in my core
But that obviously can't happen
Because we live in a cruel world
You spoke truth and tragedy
Didn't care if it was appealing
We could use you right now
Because now rappers are screaming and mumbling
They aren't teaching the youth anything relevant
I want to be a poet like you
Teach the world unfairness
But your shoes, I can't fill those
Tupac Shakur, you shook the world
But I'm only 16
I don't think I can ever be
As life changing as you
96 · Sep 2019
Mom
Jasmin Jackson Sep 2019
Mom
Mom.
Your love is stronger than any hurricane
It rushes in and flows down streets
Mosses might have trouble trying to part it
Your hug is as soft as a carnival teddy bear
Engulfed in the soft delicate cotton feel
I love you so much mom
But sometimes I think its wrong
When you put such high expectations on me
Your disappointment in me
It makes my heart drop into a darkened bliss
It makes my gut twist and turn in circles like a go kart in a race
It tears me apart slowly inside like nicotine breaking down one's lungs
It slowly kills me
You are slowly killing me mom
But I'll never stop loving you
Even if you do
95 · Jul 2019
Screw youu
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
There's so many things about you that I adore

Your childish goofy smile

Your ridiculously stupid pick up lines

It's all dorky and I always want more

But then I have to remind myself

That you disrespect me

And neglect me

And you made my heart mad to the core

So what's the point of fighting for us when breaking my heart in the end is what you had in store
94 · Jul 2019
Ugh popcorn lungs
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
"You're gonna have popcorn lungs"
That what my friend always tells me
But taking hits off a blunt
Seems more satisfying
Than swallowing a pill for anxiety and depression
I also dont wanna hear my mom give me a lesson
About how I need to see a therapist for my depression
Because I only have two years then I'm off to hearing lectures
And mom and dad cant waste their money on some person
That I'm expected to pour my heart out to
But the stoners sell **** at school for 5 bucks
What do you really expect me to do
So if my breathing starts to struggle and pop like popcorn
Well **** what do you expect me to do
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
My grandmother is very religious
Even though the world is twisted and sick
She still prays for a living
Sophomore year her daughter was killed
At 12 or 13 her older brother's life disappears
But somehow someway, she gets down to pray
My grandmother is very religious
A small town she resides in
Dusty dirt roads and no police sirens
Struggling to pay for a light to stay on in her house
But somehow someway
She finds joy when she prays
My grandmother is very religious
Til this day I ask myself how
How can she believe and love so deeply in something she's never seen
How can she sing these gospel melodies
When lying on a dusty blue couch is how she sleeps
How could you be so religious?
You've never seen this holy ghost
You've never walked in the streets of gold
For goodness sake you've never held gold
But you lively beating heart is for the lord
I don't get how you could be so religious
Especially when you've gone through all of this
"Have faith child" is what you tell me
But all around the world there are babies with empty bellies
But we all believe in this?
This world where children have to use books as shields to bullets
Yet those people have a religion
My grandmother is very religious
"God will take care of us" she boasts
A woman who was once dirt poor boasts
About her strong faith and religion
I hope one day
I can say
That my faith is as strong as hers
89 · Aug 2019
Being black in 2019
Jasmin Jackson Aug 2019
While some kids learn the birds and the bees
Others learn what to do during a run in with the police
Put your hands up do not scream
Because no parent wants their child to be a victim of police brutality
If you look like me
And you come off as a threat to cops naturally
Then your time in jail consists of
1,2,3,4,5 shots in the chest
Because your pleas are equal to insanity
88 · Jul 2019
Untitled
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
A lot of legends in the making I hope that I can be one

Give it 5 years and mama's purse will be from Louis Vuitton

A lyrical wizard I'm casting spells with my magic wand

When I'm 20 you'll know my name even if you're in Taiwan
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
I paint my nails every Sunday

Put on a face mask, my ghetto spa day

Thinking about my outfit for monday

Because whenever I see you, my fit has to be slaying

Whenever I see you, your kicks are slaying

If I could be with you we could be slaying
82 · Aug 2019
Untitled
Jasmin Jackson Aug 2019
My grandma said her heart feels empty
I used to want to live til infinity
But now I keep seeing how the world is pure cruelty
Sometimes I wonder if I'll even live to be 23
No parent should have to outlive their children
Grandma's daughter killed at 14
Her killers out of prison
I really hate this sick world we live in
Kids running around with guns like the war's about to happen
It's not fair to the innocent
They didn't ask to get shot at they just want an education
My aunt died in the 90s
It's sad that this ****'s still going on
When its 2019
Our president sees nothing wrong
Instead he hits up the bird and starts tweeting
While a few states over
Men and women are screaming
Because another murderer just opened fire
75 · Jul 2019
Untitled
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
Can someone please tell me why

Teenagers post pics of them crying

And why slitting your wrists seems so satisfying

And why schools are in danger yet it seems like the government isn't trying

Why are our "icons" hardly dressed in anything

Why is there a TV show with sisters arguing and screaming

And why do we call a women from Texas a queen

When last time I checked royalty was in London

Why do girls starve themselves for a boys approval

And why does the internet praise it

Why does everyone say the n word like its slang

Did they forget how us black people made it?

Why are people feuding over a musical collaboration and who in the world is coming up with these dance moves

Why are rappers mumbling with no story to tell

And why are face tattoos a thing

Why do we worship these people that promote fast lifestyles

When they mainly got there because of their rich parents

Why are girls having their moms bribe colleges so they can get in even though they don't deserve it

Is there any way I can go in a time machine

And make my way back to the 90s

Because things seem less complicated
No shade to Beyonce
74 · Aug 2019
City
Jasmin Jackson Aug 2019
City.
4 letters, endless meanings
Sunny weather, families grieving
Cloudy skies, couples squealing
City.
Fast cars, flashing lights
Uber rides, melochany goodbyes
A hug, a kiss a walk inside
The airport, she waits in line
He waits by the side
Seeing whose dms to slide in
As she flies back to her city
City
Rat infested, overcrowded
Notorious fashion, subways and taxis
California boy on her mind, but she missed her city
City
Hollywood Sign, stars on sidewalks
Makes it on rodeo drive, many girls to find
New york girl is way out of his mind
He's in his element, he's in his city
City
So far apart
So appealing
City
Jasmin Jackson Aug 2019
I've adored that gullible smile
Since the 1st grade
We haven't talked in 6 years
But I still remember your full name
I want to start something with you
I hope you feel the same way
73 · Jul 2019
My doubts
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
I'm just another teen with crippling depression

As each day goes by, I doubt writing's my profession

My last name isn't Green, King or Kaur

And if I think I'll write a famous book in college I'll just leave college poor

I don't want to be 23, living by shore

Coming home with my briefcase, living a life full of bore

I want to come home, coffee in my hand, ready to write more

But I feel like everything I write makes people bored

I dream of having my books all over bookstores

But honestly at this point, maybe another job is what I'll look for
70 · Aug 2019
Stuck up
Jasmin Jackson Aug 2019
I'm sorry that I can't fit in
I'm sorry I don't have white skin
I'm sorry that when I was 12 I chose him over a friendship
But in my defense you were controlling from the beginning
And something about your attitude was not appealing
It screamed plastic to me
"You must do what I say"
A best friend is supporting not the owner of a slave
And now that we're 16 you still wont look my way
Because I chose to date a boy in the 6th grade
I wrote brockhampton on my backpack in the 10th grade
And now I have friends that call me by my full name
I have this best friend that vibes with me better than Danny and I've known that comic book geek for what feels like eternity
You and I could've been inseparable
You called me your sister but got ****** over a mister
I'm sorry he and I lasted for 4 years and were stronger than ever
You have no idea how hard it was going through that breakup without a girl's support
Now you cuss out girls and bully them like it's a sport
But you support equality and justice for the people
But on the inside you're regina George with a little bit more evil
No girl should leave another girl out in the dirt
Especially when she's 12 years old
65 · Jul 2019
03
Jasmin Jackson Jul 2019
03
People act like we're homies then they get popular and leave me

Acquaintances always ask me for money so the thought of fame has never phased me

I come from a good family my parents have good jobs

And when I bring coffee to school everyday I get looked at like a snob

But the funny thing is I have my own job so that latte is coming out of my pay

But they don't see that, they only see a girl who gets everything her way

But these people really got it twisted I'm not some rich *****

When I was 8 mom went to a church to get me some free **** for Christmas

When I was 11 mom and I woke up at 5am to hop on buses

And when I was 9 mom thought about going back to her hometown

Staying home from church because mama had to work on sundays

Sleeping in the living room on July 4th because those shots weren't fireworks there's no way

But they only look at me now

Because mom and dad got it sorted out

All three of us have government jobs and I'm not even old enough to have a prom queen crown

But the thing is I'm never going to forget the struggle

Even if the people that barely know me give me trouble

Living in the ghetto for 11 years is something I'll never forget

So when I do blow up, I'll always tell little kids

To never give up on your dreams no matter what they say

When you plan on going up, up is only one way
63 · Sep 2019
High School
Jasmin Jackson Sep 2019
You're not pretty enough
Your skin is too dark
Your lips are too big
I'm anything but perfect
I'm anything but accepted
So I sculpt myself to fit in
Once I do that you've moved on
As if I was just spare time
62 · Aug 2019
Thoughts
Jasmin Jackson Aug 2019
I question why people **** with me
When I look in the mirror all I see
Is a pink haired ******* the brink of insanity

— The End —