I wish you knew my pain
How it feels when you push me down and laugh
To hate my own existence
To feel worthless
To wake up and look in the mirror only to be filled with disgust
To try to avoid being noticed in order to stay unharmed
To avoid getting close in fear of judgment
I wish you knew my pain
I wish you knew the life I live

I walk through the halls
My head hung low
You stop and ask if “I’m okay”
I simply say “I’m fine” and walk away
If you saw through the lies you might stop me
Yet still I walk on
Day after day
Lie after lie
Smile after smile
No one sees me cry
They all think I’m fine
I’m not fine
Inside I’m falling apart
And each day you take a new piece of my heart
But I swear I’m fine

as I watch the sink fill with my own blood I can’t help but wonder,

what the lives of others would be like without me?

they say I'm not the only one I'm hurting when I do this, but I don’t see how.

how does it hurt the one that doesn't have to rip open their skin just to sleep at night.

to be able to handle the painful memories.

to feel alive.

to handle living less than a block from the monster that ***** and took advantage of you at such a young age.

but who am I to play "woe is me"?

there are people with a hell of a lot less than me.

and yet I still feel the need to destroy myself.

How dare I?