The other day I realised one more time
The inconsistent and rapid beat on the monitor
I believed it was just my grandmother being happy
I sat there fixed on the monitor as my mother had asked me to
I felt something strange
A joy, an unknown pleasantness embracing grandma
I saw the smile break on her lips
seeing me patient and keen
Though none was there I saw her face
The smile my parents could never see
I was privy to her sole ecstacy in that hospital room
Immediately I too began to smile
Knowing she had befooled her children
To get this much attention
In comfort and love she lay there
With her loved ones beside her

I have hardly seen her once or twice, yet I remember her capturing face, 
patiently she waits for her the local bus everyday, beside the old banyan tree, 
but that day I did not see her. 

I kept wondering all sorts of things but then I left it, 
as i sat for my evening tea it occurred that her face appeared again in my memory 
I looked for her beside the banyan tree yet there was no sign. 

Out of my curiosity and recurrent thoughts about her I stepped to ask 
who the girl was in the nearby roadside tea-stall 
to my surprise the vendor just passed the local newspaper 

I stood there blinking and shocked not able to grasp 
On the front page in bold was written AN ACCIDENT NEAR THE BANYAN TREE at 6.30 am 

I could no more fathom that she had visited me before she left this world 
She could not tell me yet she made me think of her through unknown emotions 
I wonder she too missed me that day standing beside the banyan tree.

© jasmine fernandez 2016

On the door step,I sat looking out 
Out into farthest distance as my eyes could carry me 
Me, is it possible at all I wondered
As I wondered a strange apparition broke out in the sky 
In the first instance I shuddered to think it was real 
It was real, a live unicorn 
A live unicorn beautiful and showcasing it's strength and majesty.

© jasmine fernandez 2016

When the streets turn dark
Someone  holds out a lamp for you to walk through
You follow its flaying light till the end and no more it can burn for you
You turn and suddenly realise it's again darkness
You walk on and step on stones and pebbles
get hurt on the soles of your feet When the streets turn dark
Someone holds out a lamp for you to walk through
You walk too far to realise the lamp is no more there waiting for you.

every second passes ticking with it my heart keeps throbbing
up and down
my mind speeds through a jet to catch hold of moments and memories that seemed to last for an eternity
stopping at certain intervals lingering with pleasantness and some with a quick step forward avoiding a pervading melancholy
breathing increases every moment trying not to loose hold of my body
thoughts cloud me to just stretch my every moment of presence here in the now to take charge and foster virtuous deeds

trying not to focus it but it encounters me in every step that i take
reminding every other thing i do with serious consciousness
every fresh air i breathe for the first time seems so precious
all the vastness of love seems suddenly never enough to enjoy and return
i encounter its shadow crouching beside me every other motion i take
a footprint accompanying my every deed and word
i feel so much indebted for all and grateful to experience all that i could not have had i not been given a chance.

still staring outside i am slowly preparing
to leave everything behind
to part-with all my luxuries, abundant gifts
and still be happy and contend when i look back
if ever it is possible.

When you can feel it, but unable to express it
When you cherish it's softness, the tenderness from which it comes
Yet pleasurable to experience more of it,
Because if it is never experienced there is no love,
The beauty of love is pain,
Both intermingled and it's so subtle to differentiate the two,
For the Harmony of it brings the rhythm
The missing and the pain, the feeling that it can never be consumated yet the in depth of heart it still exists
It is a melody a very slow one without which I would never live today
It's the memory, the shared little things that holds me together,
The knowing that you are happy at another 's hands is itself a joy
For in your smile I live
I live in every thing you do,
The care you give, though I may not be there yet it is so wonderful to know you cherish the values we shared together,
Every little mistakes we committed and corrected and the coordination with which you made me write a story
A story that has so many colours
And for bringing back to life
The energy and the zest for life
The little things you told will itself sing as a song
For in that song lives a life
A life that wants to still live
For in your happiness I live.

Holding the poetic sword

Started reflecting on the much-divided heart

Into a brain storming question

Should responses be elicited

Or simply succumb to a passive slavery

Heart unleashed into two divided answers

One to confront with strong resolution

And the other to run away in steady flights

Duty towards society beckoning

Fear of being judged resisting

Mind unfurled its reasoning and logic

Voice it on one side and no you will be nailed on the other

Emotions played its music on

Be a humanitarian it sung its song

No you will get entangled into a web of trouble echoed logic self

Confused the body stood still

And then performed its decision

Interrogating such a response

The heart and mind stood in reconciliation.