Flopping down, drunk onto my bed,
Jumbled thoughts are buzzing in my head,
The room is spinning round and round,
I think I hear a choking sound,
I'm feeling like I might be sick,
Stumbling to the bathroom quick,
So undignified it makes me groan,
Talking to God on the big white telephone,
"Yes I'm ok, really, away you go",
As sick is pouring from my nose,
It needs to be a private matter,
When the pan is getting a splatter,
It will not end there, that drunken haze,
The hangover then, can last for days,
All of this is such a pain,
I'm never drinking, no not again.

Have you ever had one of those days,
Where you wish the world would go away,
People getting on your case,
Standing close, invading space,
You wonder what it's all about,
Life's testing you, I have no doubt,
Don't let them break you, then they can't,
Vent your spleen, and have a rant,
If you feel you're teetering on the edge,
Just have a beer , and go to to bed :)

I do hair,
It's what I do,
I work real hard,
To transform you,
Snipping, styling, chatting away,
Doing my best to make your day,
"going somewhere nice, on your holiday? "
Just to relax you, on your stay,
My mundane talk is amusing its true,
But really I'm ****** analysing you,
I listen to your moans about your spouse,
How you're decorating up your house,
I hold quiet council, unless I'm asked,
My soundest advise I can offer fast,
So remember when you're in the sink,
I'm really more  your low paid shrink,
One day perhaps, you might ask me,
How I am, and how was my holiday,
But I do hair,
It's what I do.

Please don't call me darling,
It gets right on my ****,
You might think your being clever,
But I really don't like it.

Please don't creep up behind me,
And grab hold of my *******,
You could just try to talk to me,
Not prompt a cardiac arrest.

Please don't **** beneath the covers,
And hold my head underneath,
It's really just not ****,
And makes me sick behind my teeth.

Please don't hold me on the floor,
Mercilessly tickling my toes,
My bladders not what it used to be,
I don't want to scream and wet my clothes.

Please do treat me like a lady,
If it's not to much to ask,
Or I might decide I've had enough,
And kick out your annoying ****!

Soooo not feeling it today,
My sense of humours gone away,
Focus gone and mind askew,
I'll be glad when this day is through.
It started well, I was on song,
But further as the day went on,
All I touched, it turned to ****,
That's about the strength of it,
I hope that it is just a phase,
Or maybe just, one of those days.

For that small moment of fractured time,
I was all I could be,
In that splintered space I was mighty,
Yet I was free,
Feelings held deep inside flew out of me,
And I was happy,
Venerable and at ease with myself,
Love flowed from me,
You took advantage of my good nature,
And wounded me,
Limping reeling, retreating back,
Safe comfort within,
Confused and aggrieved, you broke me,
Better you had ended me.