"I'm leaving him" you shout at me,
My own mother, breaking every dream I ever believed.
Now I have lost not one but two Dad's in the space of twenty years.

The fights, mood swings, all built up to breaking point.
But you don't see he loves you.
You say he doesn't love you that all you do is clean.
But you don't see the affection that lies in his bright blue eyes.

Your mood swings give whip lash,
Your shouting chills us all.
But you don't see we love you, unconditionally.
So why?.

Why do you want to end it all?.
Throw Seventeen years down the kitchen sink.
Leave us all fatherless, like we were Eighteen years before.
He is my dad,not by blood but by love.

So for us, put away the mood swings,
And get back to love.

I look at your face and it all comes back.
The stolen kisses and evenings spent underneath the sheets.
You were gorgeous to me, a guy who I truly wanted to be.
No ****** intentions, just sweet innocent moves.
But how was I to know, what you really were.

A guy who built me up, gave me hope we would be together,
But how was I to know, what you were about to do.
Ignore me for days,
Leave me praying you didn't run away.
Then you did it, sent me the message. It's over, written in stone.

Every stolen kiss, gone in the air.
So when I look at you now, they float around in the air.
I wish this wasn't so,
That you could look at me with lust,
But instead you see me as this girl,
You stole a kiss from , two , three times maybe four.

I walk the halls and you all laugh,
You call me fat and laugh behind my back.
But deep inside, I know the reason,
Why I am not like the others.

To the naked eye I am obese,
A fat girl who you can not bare to see.
But deep inside my blood there holds a demon,
One who controls the way you see me.

Doctors call it PCOS ,
A illness I will carry til my death.
So when you look at me,
Don't see the fat ,
Or the girl who you can not bare to see.

See the girl who fought to live,
Who spent that year,
Underneath the hospital sheets,
Just so you could bare to look at me.

I am known as straightforward,
I cut to the point and keep a straight composure.
Inside my walls are tall and strong ,
No emotions or feelings allowed to weaken my walls.

The names,games and exile have been played on me,
But still I stay straightforward.
Behind the walls stands a heart,
It plump's blood and feelings against the wall.

Feelings that once were hurt, too many times before.
So for now my walls will stay strong.
And I will keep being straightforward.

I waited for this day for the past three years,
To see your face and to know you were real,
Not just a memory or a dream that I thought was real,
But a friend I just haven't seen in years.

Three long years have separated us due to time and space.
Not the kind of space that exists above the sky we stare at.
The one that is filled with the diamonds that I wish upon.

I think about the gap I feel,
The friend I lost to unfortunate events that either of us could control.
Them long Summer days meandering into nights,
Now will turn into dark Christmas nights,
Illuminated by the glow of a fairy light.

So I wait patiently,
Counting down the days,
Hours,
Minutes,
Seconds,
Until we are brought together again.
Best friends once reunited again.

Kiss me and tell me,
Everything will be ok,
That leaving you on this platform,
Won't be my biggest mistake.

Its not a choice but a sentence I must pay.
Life carries on without your face,
School and studies await me each day,
I could give it all up just to be with you,
You tell me no that's the wrong thing to do,
But how am I to know when I love you so.

Kiss me and tell me,
Everything is  going to be ok,
That we won't grow apart while I walk away,
This train moves to fast for me,
My panic sets in,
My heart is screaming please stop this train.

The night sky is filled with the stars above,
Not a wish I could make to turn this around.
My heart is heavy, my stomach is sick,
You slowly fade away as the train pulls away.

When will I see you?
A week, a month, a couple of days?.
Just kiss me and tell me,
Everything will be ok.

These winter nights get longer
Without the warmth of your embrace,
I sit alone, thinking about you,
Wondering when will I see your face.

My love has come
And before I know it I am leaving him
Once again on his own .
As the miles grow longer
The more our love grows.

10 months of bliss,
Heaven is not as nice as this,
I yearn to feel your kiss,
To smell your aftershave ,
To have your warm body on mine.

Being away from you breaks my heart,
An empty shell without you near,
Why do we have to say goodbye
When hello was just said.

You are my life,
The one I call home,
A man who takes care of me
On these harsh winter days.

The day will come when we grow old,
You will hold my hand as we both
Fade into the unknown.
I will love you then as much
As I love you now,
My knight in his shining armour.