The only hand out ill ever accept is a handshake..
Adrenaline and anger cloud my head and make my hands shake..
Playing the game of life I have to win for these grand stakes...
Plans made and broken, potent **** I'm smokin..
Poppin pills, getting drunk my bodies surely broken..
Whatever makes the pain stop, running ducking raindrops..
And like a Dalmation you can change your ways but you'll always Have the same spots..
Continuous actions, puff puff passin..
Living for the moment i don't care if tomorrow happens..
Running in circles, those closest will hurt you..
Those who say they have your back most certainly desert you..
When the going gets tough, people get going..
I'm stuck in ***** creek and I simply can't start rowing..
Stuck in a bad place but I've made due..
Past actions are the reason I love to hate you..

Arguments ensue, your powers been misused, abused..
But while we're at the top, might as well take in the view...
see where we've been, everything we came from...
The people we used to be, looking back i really hate them...
What the **** happened, to get us to this point?
Can't go a day sober, endless bottles, pills and joints..
Haven't had a clear head, in what seems like years..
My eyes are always bloodshot, clouded with my tears..
I have to hide my feelings, but i can share my fears..
Please lie to me one more time, tell me all I want to hear..
We made it to the top, a big ******* to them all..
Now all we have to do is wait, because promised is the fall..

You can turn your back and hide your eyes..
Cut me slack my souls revived..
It's been a time since I felt like living..
No thoughts of suicide or wrist slitting..
I always wanted to go out in a blaze of glory..
No remnants of disappointment at the end of my story..
But who am I kidding, its written in stone..
The ink is my blood and the pen is my bones..
Sign here at the X and it's ****** she wrote..
Hold me tight, the noose on my throat..
A few breaths left in these old broken lungs..
The rides been hard but it sure has been fun..
Thinking of where I started can't fathom when it's over..
6 feet of dirt is heavy and the airs getting colder..
I wonder if they hear my tossing and turning..
Sold it to the devil when you get this my soul will be burning..
Welcome the heat, embrace the flame..
Heavy sigh of relief here comes the rain..

I've been here before I know how this story ends..
Thought I knew what was best but this is where the glory ends..
I like what we have but only so long I pretend..
Before feelings turn real then they get hurt..
Ill take what we have for all that its worth..
Met as two strangers more in common then most..
I pray and I plead but I keep losing hope..
Ill write it in rhyme composed as a poem..
These feelings must hide I can no longer show them..
Memories we have Ill cherish and hold them..
For now I can't deal and it isn't my place..
Ill pick you up when your down, and wipe those tears from your face..
I wanted to be special, not a mistake..
I promise it's real so far from the fake..
Maybe it's timing or never was in the cards..
But our time was special because it was ours..

today i give it all up

This is the house where lonely lives..
skeletons in my closet, my only friends..
I might just lose it, it's evident..
Give me an angel heaven sent..
I keep sending prayers god won't answer it..
Maybe the address is wrong, return to sender..
I'm never sober anymore I can barely remember..
What got me here, and with who..
Predetermined destiny, not for me i pick and chose..
What's to lose..when you lost it all..
Prisoner of my mind, and these 4 walls..
Build me up to watch me fall..
My phones disconnected can't accept that call..
Leave a message ill be back one day..
When I make you proud like i always said id do one day..
a man of my word I won't take it back..
It's never good bye even if I don't make it back..
Ill see you one day later than sooner..
Such a pretty flower, it was just a late bloomer..

if life is a puzzle I think my piece is mis-matched..
When I feel everything is right there's always such a mishap.
Made so many mistakes as hard as I try nothing can fix that..
I'm a good dude, better than the past..
Karmas a *****, she found me fast..
I cry now no need to laugh..
I fell for it knowing it was a trap..
Let me out I'm screaming..
I beg of you I'm pleading.
My Wrists slit I'm bleeding..
I'm sorry god were even..
Ill leave a note no mystery..
Just take me from this misery..

Pain that's where happiness grows..
Feelings..
tried my best to suppress but it's clear they show..
I wish they didn't but yes I do..
I hate everything but then there's you..
Wanna be the one but then there's two..
Itll only take a minute stretch it out give me a few..
Don't wanna be the one to destroy where your happiness grew..
Ill walk away if its best for you..
Protection I reckon is what I had offer..
The heart plays a reckless game full of love and torture..
Let the best man win even if the nice guys lose..
I never meant to be a problem believe that it's true..
Happiness has grown from my underlying pain.