Every night I lay my head down
the thought of you with him
branded into my brain
driving me insane
after several long agonizing hours
I finally pass into the void
Though my time there is short
I dream of all the times we had
both the good and the bad
and when I awake the next morning
I beg and I pray
that the brand on my brain
was only a horrible dream

I used to be your rock
You were my everything
We had it all
From the front seat
I was kicked out of the car
Hitting the ground at 100/MPH
Now left for dead
I scrounge for my own
Gasping for air
A s I hold on to life
I used to be your man
Now I am somebody you used to know

I am the nameless
No one knows me
No one cares
They walk all over me
As if I am dirt
From hero to zero
Now just a memory

You are the judge
you are the jury
you are the prosecuter
I am the defendant
my crime is loving you
my sentance is life confinement
I have no bond set
the evidence is stacked against me
the only witness is me
I plead guilty on all charges
I have nothing to hide
I am not ashamed of my crime
but now the trial has come to an end
the only thing left is the verdict
you as the jury
how do you find me?

The words, they leave my lips
and fall upon your ear
meant for good intention
yet they are misconstrued
never have i meant
to do you any wrong
only to help you understand
the pain that conquers me
but in turn the damage is done to you
all these thoughts inside my head
i cannot get them out
no words can describe them
locked behind closed doors
my mind at war with my heart
misconseption mixed with logic
scratches at my soul
leaving scars and bleeding wounds
some will never heal

Sitting on the widows peek
she waits for me week after week
not know when or if I'm coming home
wondering if she is alone

Out at see I sail the waves
searching for my soul, I save
never in my life I feared
the fear I felt right here

The seas, they thrash
as the skys turn grey
into the eye we sail with craze
a storm is coming our way

Fighting the storm from bow to sturn
suddenly the winds, they turned
tossing us to and fro
into a malstrom we now go

Now the seas, they are calm
as the tide washes in
the sad widow now sees
the seas, they run red.

Long lonely nights
followed by a lonelier day
I sit there in silence
waiting for the end
pain itching at my heart
killing all my dreams
devouring all happiness
only to bestow upon me
a shroud of sorrow
the beast grows
the animal screaming
destroying who I was
and creating the demon
of which I am to become
all hope for me has died
I am the darkness

I will do the best I can
to show the world who I am
I am the best kind of man
but linger in the shadows
to afraid to show who I am
for this is not a world to accept
but to regret who I am
men like me do not exist anymore
we are a dying breed
not recognized by society
not all men are the same
you just haven't met me
to long did I hide
to long did I cower and watch
so this is my time to shine
I am the man of a lost kind
a true gentleman
and I will do the best I can
to be a good example of man

Sitting in the spotlight
all eyes are on you
waiting for you to make a move
to follow you anywhere
you are their God

Churches erected in your name
monuments built to the sky
followers in the millions
books written in your word
you are their God

But now you look in the mirror
and you see a man looking back
but it is not you that you see
there is no resemblance at all
he is your God

Now seeing what you see
and knowing what you know
it is time to lay to rest
lies of blasphemy
and stop your stain glass masquerade

Each night falls as I lay there
with a hole in my heart not to be filled
the sweet voice that once rang in my ears
will ring no more for me but for another
so lonely I lay and I ponder
no longer am I needed
I am past my due, out in the cold
a victim of love, hopeless and alone
standing out on a stormy night
in the middle of a deserted street
I fall to my knees and stare at the sky
and cry to the heavens
"this is the end of me"
no song to be sung,
no speech to be giving
a lonely funeral that only I attended
and on my stone
written in red
*I was the man that never gave up
but in time I paid the price
this was the end of me

The way I saw it was you were ditching me for your friends
the way it was, you were catching up on all the life you have missed
I was jealous, I was angry, I was sad
I didn't realize how much you needed a break
to relax and find peace with your past
I feel like an ***, for pressing this issue
but I just miss you, now kneeling before you
I ask for forgiveness, with arms wide open
I saw it as you replacing me, but I know that's not true
I want you to know I love you and I am sorry
live life, be happy, and love always
you are my angel La Mia Bella

You have made new home in an old place
where you have found happiness
but the more you build your new life
the more I am pushed away
destined to become a memory
I never thought I would see this day
where you would no longer need me
I do not know where to go from here
only to hope I am not forgotten

I may always say a lot of things
But none with bad intent
You know I worry
And you know I care
If I didn't then I wouldn't be there
When you fall, I pick you up
When you are sad, I make you happy
And I never ask for anything
I do not do this for self gain
My love for you is all I need
Not to leave out, you are my other half
You help me when I'm down
Pick me up when I fall
We are one, and one we shall be
But remember love
I do not judge, nor do I lie
for you I'll do anything
just give me a try

My heart is racing
my blood is flowing
pupils are dilated
A rush so intense

only for you
does this occur
such a strange feeling
I get tunnel vision

reality fading fast
I move at hyper speed
the world has stopped
fueled by you

I am shaking
full of excitement
a stimulus so powerful
I feel superhuman

laying in a pitch black room
trying to make out the shapes
wondering what is going to happen next
with my phone beside me
waiting for it to ring
to hear the harmony of your voice
though I am in such desperation
I still feel at peace
for all alone in the dark I lay
dreaming of the nights we talk
an abundance of weight
crushing my chest all at once
relieved as my phone rings
the sweet sound of your hello
bringing tears to my eyes
thanking life's creation that you are here
bringing me to total peace
and bringing comfort to my black hole

Sometimes we get lost
and other times we just don't care
but that is because we do not know
we cannot fret on all the details
it will tear us to shreds
drowning us in an abyss
but do not give up
the fight is not over
dig deep Into yourself
in your heart and your mind
and hold onto what you find
it may not be much, but its enough
to bring you afloat and save you
a thought among thoughts
a reason to live...
Danielle this is for you
and trust me this is true
I know all of this
because my saving thought is of you

*this is not just a poem but advice to you
take it to heart and it will help.... I love you

Those word you said
I will never forget
etched into my head
playing like a record
I do not ask why
but I always wonder
What were the reasons
I was there for you
through bad times and good
always there when needed
I know I wasn't Perfect
But I did my best for you
Pushed away, unwanted
I still fight the tide
hoping the storm will subside
letting me back to shore

Hate so pure it scortches the ground
as I walk this dark, lonely road
The shadows feel my presence
and demons quake at the sight
Satan is to afraid to claim this wretched child
for it it more powerful than he

The Hate is pulsing through my veins
what has humanity done to me
a monster I have become
feared by everyone, wanted by none
forever cursed to walk alone
heartless, souless, I carry on

I am glad you fear me...
I am glad you hate me...
it shows me who I really am
an outcast, a misfit. untrusted, unloved
Only one has shown me kindness
then she to turned and joined the crowd

*A scepticle, they point and they stare,
but afraid they are to meet my gaze.
Am I as vile as they say, a creature so
crule that they fear him more than the
devil himself. the proof is in your faces
and if it is all true, then I am more than
happy to say Welcome To Hell

It  doesn't take much
but it happens instantaneously
It is an unstoppable force
starting with a simple tear
morphing into a darkness
An entity that lurks over the soul
obstructing the light
killing all sense of life
simultaneously destroying
tearing the heart
ripping the soul
helpless to its power
the darkness consumes
leaving nothing behind
but the scared remains
of what used to be

All our late night conversations
and also your way to and from work
even in the texts we trade
we share our thoughts as one
Though some of them are  different
many are the same
We share a uniqueness in this world
that others only proclaim
I may not be there in person
but I am in your mind
You know my thoughts and feelings
one hundred percent of the time
Its amazing what the mind can do
over any distance
and with you i know this is true
from a thousand miles away
I think about you everyday
*when two minds think alike
an unbreakable bond they shall make
and together take on the world

Bonded by love
we take care of eachother
we won't look back
on the run
from the world
tonight is ours
my baby girl
**** will get hard
but we are strong
there is nothing
we cannot survive
ying and yang
we fit as one
we are as high as the sky
but still down to earth
so we will run this world
no strings attached
the wind is our guid
we wont look back
we will survive

looking at the world
through a screen
we only see what we want to see
things seem so real
we do not question
what is it that is really happening
you think you are saving me
but its more torture
than i can endure
I beg you to see
the things that I see
distance is an illusion
that we must over come
but face it or not
we are already one
this is our chance to turn on the light
this is our chance to make things right
now trust in me my dearest friend
lets be together until the end
let love guide us through the door
and live in reality as it were
no more screens
and no more chains
**** all the physics
that keep us apart
this is the begining
this is the start

Give me a rifle and I will shoot
Give me a knife and I will stab
Give me my fists and i will strangle
This is who I am
a killer at the hand of greedy men
It does what it's told with no hesitation
I am trained to ****, not to care
A replacable pawn in a game of chess
Sworn to obey my king
To fight for freedom, but yet I have none
I am made to ****
This is who I am
Give me a reason....
And I will come after you

The things we are looking for
are not easy to see
we look for things as pure as peace
and as dark as night
everything is not as it seems
no single thing is clear
when you find what you are looking for
we are either thankful or disapointed
sometimes you find your answer
but do not understand it
so you dismiss it as incorrect
and move past it
the biggest mistake a human makes
is when they find happiness
they push it aside and dont comply
because they do not believe it to be real
we place ourselves in conflict
both internal and external
but we never will find what we really want
unless we never give up

For every action there is a reaction

the action is me
the reaction is you
i may not be a genius
but i know its true
i may not be a good man
but i am good to you
i may be a thousand miles away
but i still feel close to you
i am a flame
and you are the oxygen
without you i am extinguished
i am the earth
and you are the moon
gravity keeps you close to me
if physics can prove it
then it must be true
look at the facts
i belong with you

life slips through my boney fingers
like the wind flows through a window
I watch as time goes on
crippling everything that i know
tearing me away from loves embrace
killing me slowly with every breath
I can see my happiness but cannot reach
it looks back and mocks me
telling me i am not good enough
I do not deserve to have you
you are an angel
this is all my fault
you resent me i dont blame you
I am like a thousand needles in your back
I am the king of fools
a lifeless pin ***** in existance
But as i say it many a time
I would do anything for you
as i place this tape over my lips
an lay me down in my coffin
i bury myself ten feet down
never to annoy you again

*I love you more than you will ever know
do not ever forget that

my life has faltered
the walls come crashing down
everything i build
falls to the ground
looking up at my work
in the glory it bestows
i see it waving and cracking
then down she blows
i do not understand why
but it always goes to show
my hopes and my dreams
i have built from the ground
now nothing but rubble
no hope to be found
i have tried again
with determination in my heart
i will not give up this time
no matter how hard
i can see the cracks
as bright as the sun
but onward i go
untill i have won
i want you know i am sorry
for everything i have done
before i loose you forever

never shall i fear
the facts are all clear
the signs clear as day
but through me
the blind can see
reaching out my hand
taking you to neverland
do not fight the inevitable
in a world of instant gratification
i swear to await
the longing for your touch
i know you feel the same
the sweet savour am I
to raise you from your hell
an save you from a lie
for as long as i am alive
no one will harm you
please my love hear my cry
always have i been there
and always shall i be
you are the love of my life
so stand up and be proud
be more than my promiscuous dream

all the pieces are there
but the puzzle remains unfinished
collecting dust
the dedication in the begining
the insperation flowed
then in the blink of an eye
the masterpiece lays
dorment and incomplete
waiting to be put together
light it once placed
in the eyes of its creator
not to be seen in future

the story of my life
is not a happy one
looking back on everything
i have nothing to show
though i have made my mark
i regret a lot
I suppose it is all necessary
it is still painful
leaving me broken
i am pushing away the past
starting anew
there is a light in my life
the flame is you

my body grows weary
my mind slips away
my muscles are aching
and my bones decay
i have walk to many miles
with to much weight on my back
but i cannot rest
there is no time for that
but through all the struggle
the tests and the pain
with you i find peace
and a life to regain
though i am shattered
and broken bruised
my heart is still going
because of you

What if I died tomorrow
how was my life
I had my ups, my downs
I had my goods and my bads
I had my love found and love lost
but I was a good man

What if I died tomorrow
what would I leave behind
my thoughts and ideas
my care and my love
my wisdom and memories
I was a simple man

What if I died tomorrow
who would remember me
those who I had met just for a moment
those who had loved and hated me
everyone who has come
in contact with my life
I was an impressionable man

"UP!"
"Driver move out"
"Gunner saybo tank"
"On the way"
"Fire"
"BOOOOOOOOOM"
"Driver back down"
up in the morning
before the crack of dawn
there stands the big beast
and there stands little me
just a spec in the shadow
of this magnificent machine
70 tons of brute force
that shakes the earth as it moves
they know we are coming
but they cannot escape
in front of us
a world of adventure
behind us
ruins of the world as it was
the beast knows no mercy
whether it enemy or friendly
this is a life only few have lived
this is the life of a tanker

peace at last have i seen
in a dream she came to me
She spoke to me so pure
staying up, long lonely nights
waiting to hear her voice
sweet music to my ears i say
please love hear my plight
first i fought for freedom
as i fought through pain
but now i fight for your love
and hope you do the same
though tragity struck
at an undecent time
i love her more than ever
i awake from this dream
and lay under the stars
upon my tank i look straight up
above me is the moon
its beauty bringing forth the memories
that i have yet to share with her