I couldn't help it,
the need was too great,
far mightier than I,
I just couldn't ignore its whispers.
I lay on my bed in agony,
writhing at the thought,
that I would take my life
and ignore the cries
of pain it would cause.
I panicked.
How did I know
the night would end with this,
The first was blunt and upsetting,
The second was Sharp
and worked like a charm.
It felt better than I thought it would
far better,
I feared it would hurt too much,
but it was comforting,
I dont regret it
and maybe will sleep tonight,
I have yet to try.

We may be apart,
don't think i will treat you different,
I will forever try to make you smile
even on your darkest days,
I will always call you beautiful
when your mind is clouded with doubt
I still will pray that god will help you
and see you though your troubles
in case you lose all hope.
None of these things i have to do
and most days you wonder why i bother
and yet no matter what i always try.
I feel the need to try,
I want to try
I will forever be here to catch you
whenever you start to fall,
i want you to rise high and shine bright
because above all
you deserve it.

The aching pain of your absence
still lingers in my near empty heart,
Feelings unchanged by time
people telling me i should forget and move on
and that it will fade but it doesn't,
all it does is tear me apart bit by bit,
they don't fade,
not because i don't want them to
but how they stuck so tight they are part of me.
Part of the best thing
that has happened to me in forever.

I go out for walks,
Sometimes till dawn,
I do not choose where i go
i just walk
and let my feet take me,
More often than not,
I find myself walking
the same path to your door,
Almost three miles each night,
But then i remember
i have no place there
and am faced with turning back
and heading home,
Sad and lonely.
Yet again