The traffic grid operates smoothly and seriously
Forwards and back, in rows and columns
Directions painted in asphalt, and hung from poles
The road's instructions are obeyed unflinchingly
All these drivers are too serious to do otherwise
As they rush off to their serious lives

The doctors are serious
The lawyers are serious
The cleaners are serious
The gardeners are serious

It seems everyone is serious but me
In the park, reading Kerouac against a tree.

Have you ever missed someone?
Really missed them?

Not because of what they could do for you
Or the opportunities you were missing out on
Not because they are part of your family
And you are supposed to miss family
No, genuinely missed someone
To feel that, you weren't the same
You could never be the same
As long as she was gone

Have you ever missed someone?

To love her so intensely
And to feel her love, the same level as yours
You two became one person
You held each other, you melted together
Into something singular, a single heartbeat
And of course, The world is only right
When you are in her arms
You realize, you are a shell without her
A skin, a cast, a husk, nothing
Nothing without her

Have you ever missed someone?

Everything reminds you of them
The Sun, Trees, The Sky, EARTH
And other things, the more important things
How you cant make a sandwich, because
That is her favorite bread
How you can't listen to music,
You met at a concert
How you can't go to the park,
memories of the first date
How you can't read the postcards,
without breaking down

Have you ever missed someone?

Have you spent hours trying to remember
Exactly how her hand feels,
Interlocked in yours
Or her hips brushing against you
Walking together
Or her hair, always getting in the way
When you kiss

Have you ever missed someone?
I have.

A dog barks at night
An empty plea, from a suburban home
The dog pines for freedom
To go past the white picket fence

As the piercing howl travels
Other dogs are reminded
They erupt in chorus
And the night is filled with longing

They claw at freshly gardened lawns
Spit out chew toys in disgust
How they long for a ****
Breaking flesh against fangs

I can hear the silence
Rumbling in the night
Galloping towards me
And steaming around my eyes

Smothering and suffocating
A plastic bag wrapped too tight
I turn a deep purple
In a few seconds, I'll be gone

In the silence I open my mouth
But no sound escapes
My vocal cords castrated
By the ringing silence

The old t.v. sleeps in the alley
It was thrown out a few nights ago

Once, it was the center
The the corner stone of a family

Now, its screen is cracked
as it is prostrate, in gravel

It cries, but the family ignores the tears
They are too busy, installing a new one

A slimmer, sleeker, more distinguished
Television to replace the other

The new t.v. sits in the center
Blissfully unaware that he too

will be thrown out
In a matter of months

I see the old, weeping t.v.
And i know that I too

Will be thrown away
And left to weep

In a matter of time

I sink into the grass, the blades cut though me
They make my blood run green
Green like the Earth that brought me here
Green like the Earth the will take me back

Throughout the day
Can't keep throbbing at bay

Ebbs and flows like water
Water without the laughter

My Brain is braking out
I let slip, a final shout

As it grows more intense
The throbbing won't let me rest

It has broken down the door
Splinters now carpet the floor

The floor which was once pristine
Will now never again be clean

My head was charged by huns
everything destroyed, running with blood

Throbbing breaks down the walls
With metal chains and *****

And now, it is open to all
A new kind of shopping mall

See this, it's all that's left
Of a mind once neatly kept

Take what you want and leave
This is no place to grieve

As if you cared anyway
Really, I'm better off this way

I'll never try again
Not a single thought through my head

Now prop me up on a wooden chair
And simply forget I was ever there

A single ****
Sprouts from the ground
First of its kind?
Last to be cut down?

This ****
Could be either one
A pioneer, or survivor
Alone in the sun

Part of a cycle
Which stage I'm not sure
Past or future
It's now a blur

And this ****
As far as I can see
Does in fact
Look like me

I will sprout and die
Trying to be free
And to stand alone
From the collective "we"

I stop and wonder, the locked door
What is it locked for?

It is certainly meant to keep me out
But as to why, I have doubts

Is it for my own safety I have no key?
Are the inhabitants looking out for me?

For if there is truly danger inside
I would stay away as not to die

But if that were true, why am I still here?
It is not that I'm unaffected by fear

Rather curiosity has made it dull
And an adventurous spirit rendered it null

But if there was nothing inside, empty space
Surely that would put me in my place

No, that is not the reason why
I stand at the door, longing to pry

It is not in what could be found
But in letting imagination abound

On the sidewalk buildings loom above
Competing with each other to buy my love

They mean to ****** me into their hearts
Promises of 25% off and shopping carts

And though I always refuse
These buildings, well, don't like to lose

See, everywhere I go I see more
As if they had sprung instantly from the floor

Now the question the bothers me:
What happened to all the trees?

Pillars instead of trunks, windows instead of leaves
I've locked myself in, and lost the keys

Crawling through the forest
The effort is outrageous
There is no time to rest
The excitement is contagious

Slowly traversing the expanse
The only movement, forward
Behind is spared not a glance
The goal is set and strived, toward

Now the goal is reached
And as he rests upon the peak
He cannot move, energy is leeched
But he rest content, this is no defeat

For the Bug
Crawling on my leg