Lying in the snow,
Cold, wet, alone.
Surrounded by trees,
Mountains,
And the sky.
A few scattered scenes of blue,
Breaking on through.
Pyramid mountain periodically appearing in the distance,
Only to drown, in a vast sea of clouds
A gentle breeze, dancing in the trees.

All alone out in the wilderness,
Peaceful sounds of a squirrel,
Enjoying the solitude of the wilderness.
Untouched by the world,
Nature living as one,
The peaceful co-existence we all search for.
Lost again in the gentle breeze.

Birds soaring up above,
The ultimate freedom,
Bowing only to the forces of nature.
As the seasons come to an end,
Life is reborn, time and time again,
Only to slowly drift away through time
Lost again, slipping away in a gentle breeze.

Winter,
The darkest season.
The snow comes to life,
Everything else dies.
Burgundy, red, maroon, orange, yellow,
The fall colours that litter the streets,
All turned brown, decaying, rotting,
only momentarily emerging from the snow,
to be covered again  and again until spring.
The skeletal remains of trees, shadows of summer,
Litter the streets,
Empty, alone, an eyesore.  
The only saving grace, Christmas lights.
Bulbs burned out, left up all year long.
Glowing brightly, guiding the way through the long cold nights.
The streets all but deserted,
Save for one man,
Alone, cold, fighting his way forward,
Trying to escape the barren icy streets,
Only to make it home,
To sit alone.

So I’m sitting here,
Alone again.
Thinking about you.
Giving up on most things in my life,
Cause I enjoy thinking about you more.
Do I feel comfort in the pain that your memory brings?
No, the memory’s comfort my head, my heart,
They sooth my soul,
Not the pain.
Yes, your memory brings sadness upon life,
But id rather feel pain then nothing at all.

So I sit here and write.
Something I haven’t been doing for long,
Expressing myself.
Its just another thing you helped me with,
In my confused existence.
So why do I want you back?
The same old story of I cant live without you.
Well I could live without you,
But it wouldn’t be as good as with you.
I don’t want a shallow existence,
Living in your shadow.
Even trying to disappear,
Out of sight, out of mind,
Didn’t work, I tried it.

So why do I want you?
Why cant I get you out of my head?
Why do I love you?
Why cant I answer any of these questions?

Its simple, the answer,
Its cause I love you,
I enjoy being with you,
I enjoy just being around you.
You make me laugh,
Without even trying you cheer me up when I’m down.
Just touching you fills my body with warmth,
with love.
Kissing you I cant even begin to describe.
Better then anyone I could have ever dreamed of.
I still don’t know how or why I was able to call you mine,
But that is why I’m so sad now,
Cause I know nobody compares to you.

I devoted myself to you.
Without even realising I was trying.
I wanted to make you happy,
To spoil you.
To see your lovely smile.
Looking after you, made me smile.
No you’re not perfect, and neither am I.
But one thing I know is,
I love you.

So what will I do if I never get you back?
I don’t know.
What I can tell you,
Is that I will be sad,
Alone,
And confused.
Doesn’t love conquer all?
But I’ll be a better person for having known you,
For having learned, having grown, from our time together.

I’ll keep thinking of our time together,
I will always be thinking of our time,
One day the memories will make me smile,
And bring me back from the pits of despair,
When I need it most.
Just knowing that I was happy,
I had a life,
A life I loved,
With you, Jayne.