As I look around,
Even as big as I am,
I feel the size of a grain of sand,
A grain of sand that takes up to much space,
A grain of sand that tries to stay in the background,
But I'm worried that my shadow will cast darkness over others joy,
As I go to buy clothes I see shirtless men,
With abs as hard and as deep as the rock that makes the grand Canyon,
I try on clothes,
Some that look good,
But not as good as our photoshop expectations,
I walk out of the store empty handed,
My head held in shame,
I go to wal-mart,
the plus size section,
Grab the first thing that hides my body entirely and leave,
I am too big,
I'm too happy
(Though I'm really not happy at all),
My weight offends you,
My weight disgusts you,
But no matter how hard I try to drop a pound,
I gain not one, not two, but three more,
So I starve myself,
Not just from the nurishment of food,
But from the nurishment of relationships,
From the nurishment of love,
Because this world has shown me I do not deserve it.
The world shows me that I do not belong here,
But even though I cast a large shadow,
Even though I don't have a body that every girl desires,
Even though the world says I don't belong,
I know I have a purpose here,
I have love to give,
And I just want to be heard,
So here is my plea to this world,
This world that says I don't belong,
"Please, give me a chance?
I am more than the fat that surrounds my heart,
I am more then the deep purple stretch marks the cover my body,
I am human.
I have feelings,
(Many to be exact),
So please,
Do not judge me for my weight,
But for my actions,
My smile,
My personality.
Judge me not for my looks,
For my outside,
But do judge me for the love I show,
My inside,
Not what you see,
But what you feel when in my presence"