Follow your thoughts to a garden of ideas
That grow on green trees, ripe for the picking
Sweet cleansing rain falls from velveteen skies
Each drop a word, every word a bomb
Turn to see the look on your face
And you're gone
Off to some other ridiculous place

Caught up with you, no easy feat that
Almost got lost in translation
Thank God you're a thief
I'd be wandering aloud, alone in the woods
Without those touchstones
To set me back on course
Fields of neon wheat and poppy seed
Another shadow world
Hidden behind curtains
A poor man's veil

This house is alive
The wood, the mortar
It moves, inhales, exhales
It dances with the wind that blows
From the southwest
A breeze that breathes
Some semblance of life into it's architecture
Something for the old ghosts to dream about
It's over my head

They've chosen and called elders
To propagate unreality
Men who have believed a lie for so long
They can convince it is the truth
A subtle manipulation of the obvious
It's not a game to them

your attacker has a history of being baptized.  identifies as male.  was found hallucinating in a movie theater run by his father.  we shot him not knowing he’d already been.  his mother says his stutter is an act.  she is what we call empty inside.  you look like your father.

Deluded kid
How does the steel feel
Tightly biting your blistered wrists
Were you prodded or pushed
To your hard, lonely bed for the night
With the only amenities being down time and
A mirror in which you may contemplate how far you've fallen
These ***** walls are reserved for fools who confuse
And exalt their own pithy ideals of love
Over and above the real thing
Easy as that is to do
You've really done it this time
So you'd better guard your heart
Though it's almost turned into ******
Hear me
When they open that door
And tell you it's time to leave
Turn your nose to the south
Take measured steps and follow it
Into the badlands of Mexico
Don't turn back, no, not even once
For if you return
I will stretch your death out so long you'll beg me
For swifter justice
Deluded kid, your game is up
Remember this week as the most mischievous of your life
And as days in which you made the biggest mistakes of your life
Mistakes that will eventually cost you your life
Deluded kid, soon you will be enlightened
Deluded no more

Dysfunctional kid
Someday I will be able to forgive you
For the lies concocted to terrorize
It's easy to see you've lost your way
Your first experience of love
The sharp ***** of a viper's fangs
The stinging heat of venom
Ushered through ******-tainted blood
By the pumping of a stubborn beating heart
Through it's chambers and on to your brain
This is where you lost touch with reality
You've hurt the ones I love
So even though I sympathize with your plight
(Reality so often a slippery *****)
I can't forgive you
Stupid kid

I had the right to tell the delusional kid
"You don't know what love is"
I could see it plain as day
I said it full well knowing
I hadn't a clue myself
Does anyone?
Because it changes
It grows or decays
Depending on what who knows?
It is or it isn't
According to whom if it's not returned?
Maybe there you have it
Love is given, returned only if it's real
But that delusional kid
Who thought love was collapsing his world
He wouldn't have known his own face in the mirror
So shadowed it was by hope
Naivete brought him down, not love
Hope is a pale substitute after so long

Dreamed I was floating in space
The past a single memory I chose to let slip by
The future a yawning abyss bottomless and dark
I could not have told you at what point I jumped
In
I sacrificed sensation for the chance to disappear
In hopes the noticed absence would bring some sort of peace
To my own mind
And the lives of those I left behind

I won't delete this one
I promise
To do my best
My love's sleeping in the other room
No baseless arguments
This King size bed hurts her back
And my snoring doesn't help
She can't tolerate the music I have to
Listen to in order to fall asleep.
It keeps my mind from wandering off
Gives the Ambien a chance to hit the pineal bullseye
I miss her, though.
There is much to be said for the pleasures of simply being with a loved one
Listening to the rhythm of her breathing
Watch her body rise and fall
Scoot over an hug on her, hold her in your arms
Those times we're losing
And I'm not sure how much we're getting back
It seems a lot to sacrifice even if it is for health benefits
For in those times I'm reminded
How dear you are and how much
I love you

Instead I command this room alone
I wriggle my way into pajamas of darkness
I try not to think about the future
It offers no guarantees that it will even come
Frightens me to not know
And I think of friends I'm not talking to
I assess the reasons for my non-communication
Some, I feel, are legitimate and real
But I wonder if they're even aware
Of what they are
Of why I can't see them
I'm convinced they could care less
But what do I know?

In the meantime
I have to be satisfied with small chunks of time
Days, hours, minutes, even seconds
These are increments I have faith
I can navigate
I can do it on my own in the blanket of darkness
As long as I can tell she still loves me in there
Real love that honors vows
Love that is defined by those vows
So what if her back hurts and the other bed makes it better
There's your reason
As long as she knows
I'm a creature of short time
That I have reasons for avoiding people
And that they are usually pretty good ones if you stop to think about it