She was heading east
Arms folded to hold her coat tight
Against her *******
The wind was cold and made her grimace
This thing she had done
Without shedding tears
They would have frozen as they fell
Wasn't I the one who always said
"When are you going to leave?
You really need to leave"
She had to have seen me
Driving west in my dad's 72 Ford pickup
She recognized the truck
But she wouldn't look towards me
Bowed her head as if praying for forgiveness
Or more likely to keep it from the southern breeze
Perhaps had it been warmer
She would have read my lips as I hit the gas and sped past
"It's about time"

Decades have passed since that December afternoon
I don't forget even the tiniest details
Mainly I realize how wrong I was
Hindsight and revelation shame me
I drove her away
I pushed them apart
Not even knowing
I was the reason she was walking instead of driving
I was the weight that hung from their necks
With every bitter, loud and angry word
They were fighting about me
"It's about time," I said
"You would have been happier had you left years ago"
And maybe you would have
But I needed you more than I wanted to believe
And I needed him more than I cared to know
God, what a messed up situation it was
I'll be haunted by it for the rest of my life

"It's about time"
What a bunch of ******* that was

I slide the slow motion helter skelter of my mind
Ride the spiral into wide open vistas
Unbound by any sense of time
While my body stagnates, wearing down
I fly in realms of thought and imagination
Simultaneously
Form and substance congeal then dissipate
Leaving silence, imploding
Into the vortex where
On the other side
I Am

I dreamed about you last night
For the first time
In a long, long, lonely, lonely time
Sharing a world you've most likely forgotten
It vanished when I opened up my eyes
It was the same ****** dream
That used to haunt me
Every night when you first said goodbye
Now it makes me feel sad and unforgiven
But I don't know why…

Once I had faith, my faith was strong
That what we had would last
Forever long
It's so hard to believe in something
You can't even see
How can you tell when it's there or
When it's gone?
How could you tell me you'd rather be alone?
Then pack all your bags and walk on out the door
And leave me to pick up the pieces
Of all you left behind
To try to carry on

Now the stars in the sky
Are all we have in common
And the air we breathe
Is the only thing we'll ever share
The memories that remain
Are almost forgotten
They're as far from me
As the stars I see in the sky

Bliss taunts me
From the other side of the mirror
Where I've seen those heavenly shores
Imagination clothes brilliance
It is enough
More than enough
It is everything and all things
Nothing and anything
To inhabit as a world of my own
Satisfied in the simple observance
Yes I've basked in the glow of ethereal Oneness
The memory keeps me running
On the promise of reconciliation
And this I believe:
From One I came
To One I shall return
Let all that stands between
Remain as it is, what it is
That I may give it all away when the time comes
And I have Someone to give it to

Love is the wind that blows autumn leaves
The shapes of ghosts dancing
Manifest for only a moment
Before gravity reminds them
What they really are

Love is the rain that washes clean
The stench and stain of living
Hovering in heaven only long enough
Until gravity pulls each drop
To it's home in the ocean

Love is stillness
Love is peace
Being still
Being at peace
With gravity

when the road turns dark and I've lost my way
I'll call for you on that long day
wind blows bitter and shivers through
on that cold night I'll call for you

I may go gently, then again maybe not
if you are there with me, though only a thought
I'll go there willing, a simple goodbye
no longer frightened with you by my side

to hide my face forever in the shelter of your breast
to move from your suffering into your rest
through every dimension, viewed and unseen
to every fantasy, hope, wish and dream

on the other side of the mirror
things do seem much clearer