I could live without
Another day like today
The hour of realizing
It was not like any other
Was liberating and
Heartbreaking
At the same time

It's not so much that you hadn't aged
Or that I didn't notice it
I only wished I'd been there to witness
The changes
How time rearranged the subtle glow
Of your beauty
Replaced with something profound
The marking of experience
Eyes looking for innocence
Seldom finding it anywhere
But your smile was still real
Genuine, authentic
Not a trace of a lie on those lips
A much younger man would not have seen it
A secret
Precious few can keep it
You looked enchanting to me
Never too old we grew together
Cast in a Bogart-Bacall romance
Fated to last but for one evening
One electric night to compensate
For too many years to count
When you pulled me down to receive your kiss
They all shrank into a moment
In which I experienced each and every second
The gloss spread on your lips
A taste I can recall from memory even now
Sweet, a hint of spearmint and alcohol
Such a lucid thought
Brings this old tin man to life

They knew he was leaving the band
It broke their hearts
Like loosing an arm or a leg
Sometimes they cried about it
When they played the ethereal songs
They pictured stars in another universe
His was going supernova
Would never recover
He didn't feel as if he was being
Left behind
To a quieter life
A wife, a child, a Name
He'd done what he set out to do
The dream was no longer his to chase
It was his to share

Judge for yourselves, brothers and sisters
The weight of your words
The worth of your thoughts
Before putting them on paper
If you choose to give them away
They must stand on their own
You must be prepared to be misunderstood

I'd rather know than believe
But I believe in you
Knowing you'll never show

Knowing I'll never know
Yet still
Believing you're all that matters

I don't trust things I can't see through
They're as trustworthy as I am
Solid, taking up space

Faith in God, faith in you
I sometimes have trouble finding
A difference in the two

Faith's a gift
Belief's a risk
Selah

I'd rather have faith than to know
Walking the mundane streets of this life I've been given
A little uncertainty is a good thing

So long as you're the central theme
Magnetic north
A lighthouse guiding me home

When I get there I'll know
Arms entwined, dying to faith and belief
Into eternal life of omniscience

Knowing
As we are known
Selah

Which key did I tap
Accidentally
That deleted my poem?
Why could it not be undone?
I watched the words vanish from the screen
And felt my heart sink
Literally felt my stomach tighten
Gone, just like that
No way in hell it's ever coming back
I strained my mind with every line
And the fact it was so long
Meant I liked where it was going
I hoped I could keep it moving even longer
But I hit that **** key
Cursed keyboard, whatever it was
And all my thoughts ashes in flames
A 52 year old man, I felt like crying
Careful not to do that again

Prison walls aren't always brick and mortar
Cages not made of wire
Chains and locks not always seen
Will one day be broken
It's that day I'm dyin' for
One day the door will be flung wide open
It's that day I'm dyin' for
I'm breaking out this prison of my mind
It's that day I'm dyin' for
All the things that keep me here
Where love is overshadowed by fear
I'm gonna drop 'em like a hot plate
I'm gonna wake up, my eyes wide open
Bolt headlong into a dream of infinity
Leave behind this stagnating shell
Celebrate emancipation
I'm dyin' for that day

Until then
I find something new
In Mahler's symphonies
Each time I hear them
With each new day
A blessing small or large
A dose of anger and disgust
The satisfaction of knowing
I'm right when I am
Admitting I don't always know
That I'm not always right
Noticing when I find myself
Enjoying
Something I never used to like