Monica, all I ever had to offer was my love
Someone somewhere someone knew
That wouldn't be enough
You slipped from my existence
With the ringing of the phone
I would not see you again
Something I should have known
I should have seen it coming
From miles down the road
When it finally came to me
I should have seen it go
Monica, your name could stop me
Hopeless in my place
Your elvish smile, your puppet frame
Devoid of tact or grace
Devilish I made you out
The demon you could be
Made me want you all the more
For things I could not see
Dancing close I felt I knew
How empty your world was
That I could be the very thing
To give your life a cause
Monica you laughed at all
My lame *** poetry
Even so I didn't mind as long
As you were beside me
And then there was the kiss
That made me think I could
Do all the things I promised you
The things I said I would
But even as I felt your breath
And held you 'gainst my chest
Something in the way you moved
All my fears addressed
Monica, I should have known
But I wanted you so much
You were as ******* up as I was
Toxic to the touch
I had nothing for you
I only thought I did
Now the years have made it clear
I only thought I did
I never had anything
I only thought I did
I didn't want to give it away
I only thought I did

I knew a crazy man once said
"We were born into confusion
Not quite a happy home"
And I thought that was some sage wisdom
But then he said
"Now it's gettin' better
We've found a way to make it better"
And I was reminded of how crazy he was

It ain't gettin' better
This world is nothing but confusion
From the day we're born
Straight on through
Until the day we lay down and die

You can call me crazy for sayin' that
I won't fault you for it
But O, my love, you're bleeding

Colorado stoners firing it up
Lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky luck

From what deep well of despair
Did you draw the crisp clean draught
Of incontrovertible truth?
How many shrank from the reflection
Cast plainly from your gaze?
The marionette caught up in the maelstrom
Uncomfortable to watch
Reservoir of human suffering
You wouldn't close your eyes
Perhaps you saw too much

I walked away from absolutes
Emotions bleeding out
Determined never to return
Preferring the sting of the hailstone
Whipped by the wind of a cyclone

The relentless hard reason I thought I served
Began to liquify and poured through my hands
The truth exposed it not as a liar
But a murderer of souls
Satiating for a long season
Before withering and void of any hope

I floated in a purgatorial ocean
Uncaring, unfeeling, not even knowing
I was waiting
I thought I saw a chasm
But it must have been a reflection in the sunlight
A signal flare to let me know
The enigma is still there

Now I don't believe love has a feeling
Maybe joy, maybe passion
But never true love
Love doesn't channel feelings
Love channels absolutes
Now I can't walk away again
The next big storm might do me in
Love will find me joy and passion
In exchange for sacrifice and service
I must only believe
The absolutes are truth and wiser than I
Everything else is just waiting to die

I see atoms
Fall down like rain
A paper thin curtain
Hiding the eternal
A weak barricade
Though strong enough

In which the glass is filled with sand
Minutes into hours, as full as is allowed
Waiting for someone to come along
And turn it over again
Or break it with a hammer
Grains pouring out with shattered glass
The smashing blow of destiny

Impermanence
Life's greatest lesson
Is the most difficult to learn
Almost impossible to embrace
Until one realizes the value of freedom
That nothing lasts forever
Is good news indeed