We're pushing up against a wall
Rain thrown like bullets in a storm
Pelting
Stinging
Burning for something just out of reach
A patient moonbeam
The sound of unfamiliar animals, wild
Huddled beneath the pouring water
Sheltered by alien trees
Push, push, though it never gives
We are here to push

They are gathering again
I can hear them through the whispered breeze
Speaking in tongues, rattling swords
Waiting for the clarion call
Here she comes, baby, here she comes
Hear their marching feet
The war songs so beautifully deceiving
A company of angels
Armed for an onslaught
Unfamiliar animals

How did we wind up here in the first place?
That's all I'd really like to know
Airplanes and cannonballs
Relative oxygen
Hark, I can hear the battle horns
A mournful bellowing
Signifying
Victory
Cracks in the wall

Dances for victory, dance with the enemy
Yes, they see our fear
Empty and they soon fall and run
Busted by confusion
Just lay down, be still, they may not see you
Try not to breathe
It's not that hard
It's not so hard

Maybe we'll get lucky this time
The wall surely will relent
Sing like a bird, woo-hoo
**** two with one stone
Get lucky, this is the time
This is the place
Throwing sevens to the wind

And I'll never be so easy to read
And I'll never be your tough nut to crack
And I'll never be a grounded lightning rod
And I'll never be caught in a loop
And I'll never be anything but me
Me is all I'll ever be

Funeral procession crawls down the sidewalk
Carrying bodies tied to chains
Dragging them to the cemetery
Mumbling prayers, saying them backwards
That's the language the devil understands

How long and how far?
How are you forever?
Back and forth, my love
Feel your love forever

Breathe in, breathe out
Listen to the rasp
Start counting

Of course I don't know what it means
Do I look that smart to you?

Some push with their backs against the wall

In stark liquid darkness I drown
Only the voices in my head to convince me
I'm still among the land of the living
One sounds like me
The other sounds like my dad
After his voice turned weak
Only two days into a hospital stay
When a blood clot killed him in the middle of the night
I was not there
I ask if he was asleep when it happened
He avoids the question
I ask if he died in pain and confusion, alone in the darkness
He wants to talk about George Jones
So I talk to him about George Jones
And Waylon Jennings and Merle Haggard
All the country singers I love in part
Because he loved them so
I stand outside and listen to the conversation
He never asks me why I wasn't there
I never tell him
I let him talk and talk and talk some more
Until his voice sounds even more sore
Leukemia had it's prize stolen from right before it's eyes
They'd only  had time to shave his head
He didn't look much like my dad
I ask him how he made it seem easier than it was
He seemed to take my mother's leaving harder
But that was a long time ago, those years
Probably taught him some tricks
He said it was easier
Because I wasn't there

The prophet is six minutes late
I was really looking forward to his analysis
Of the characters on "Lost"
Six minutes is unusual for him
The prophet is usually early
I thought he was excited to see the program
Not realizing what he'd missed in it's network run
Not one to give his money to Netflix or iTunes or Amazon or blah blah blah
He's never heard of the Dharma Initiative

Ah...the prophet has arrived
I knew I shouldn't give up hope

We were not made for the world
Dreamers and poets, singers of songs
Try to describe what we see
Before it crushes us
And we hurt for everyone
And we gotta shut it down
Lest we become consumed by the pain
Of another
Not even our own

The city laughs at the proud, confident of their street smarts
They go so far
Infinity goes further
Darkness follows infinity
They will fall into the abyss
Vertigo will take over their mind
Second guessing
This is how artists are born
Subdued by the world
Knowing better than to touch a live wire
While standing in puddles of tears

I never hoped to be a sage or a seer
I'm just another singer reaching for a song
Tired of asking the eternal questions
Not knowing if the answers that I think I've found are wrong
I've been looking out for something to believe in
But faith is hard to come by in these times
And I can't help but judge myself severely
Who can take the punishment and fit it to the crime?

I think I'm walking backwards
I don't trust my own mind
I hope I'm doing the right thing
Leaving all these things behind

I spent all my life searching for the meanings
Of some things I was never meant to know
Always on the outside, looking inside
Knowing I should leave but never knowing where to go
And all I know could fit inside a thimble
Just a drop of wine in the bottom of a glass
Frightened of the last breath I'll be breathing
There is no comfort now in knowing all things, too, must pass

I think I'm walking backwards
I don't trust my own mind
I only hope I'm doing the right thing
Leaving all these things behind

So if I seem a prisoner of my own thoughts
If I seem to mock reality
If my mind seems to slip into oblivion
I'm looking for the things I know are there but still can't see
I'll satisfy my soul with poets' nonsense
I'll be content with someone else's song
Their memories will keep me from believing
That all the things I thought were real, vapors all along

I don't want to walk away from you
But you know I've lost my mind
I hope I've done the right thing
Now that I've left it all behind

Another day to drown in sound
Arms open, legs still, no struggle
I just drink it in then
I breathe it in then
I sink to the source
Where vibrations toll new tones

And I was Quasimodo, rope in hand
Ringing bells louder than the life I live
Sound pushing waves of air into me
Knocking me over, shaking my guts
I couldn't hear the sound of my own laughter
Or the screams of my ears bleeding

And I was lost in space, doomed to die alone
In silence
I did not realize silence could be deafening
A vacuum pops the only thing breaks is
I stopped talking to myself yesterday
I was driving myself insane

And I believed all music was from God
As He said
He would comfort me with songs of deliverance
And I may have been fooling myself
But I believed God was in all music
I still believe that

Open the gates of heaven, the first song I hear
Will be the best song I ever heard in my life
Peter will ask me what I think and I'll tell him
Then he'll tell me it's the weakest track on the record
"Wait until you get to the middle"
That's how I'll know I'm in heaven

Thomas
Behold My side
Stick your hand in deep
Explore the spear's wound
Feel it
Touch it
Squeeze it like slick, glistening *****
Reach in further
Grab hold of whatever you can
And
QUICK!
Pull it out
You can have it
I don't need it

*Enough of generic songs about simple things easily understood. Let someone else bring the good vibes. I wanted to ask the eternal questions. I wanted to float some possible answers by you.