Suffocation,its just a feeling.
Not the type when you're deep under the ocean, with water filling your lungs,
Not the type when you're in a galaxy of burning stars surrounded by a void of unbreathable air.
Suffocation, the type where you sit in the corner of your room, wrapping your spine between your delicate hands.
Your knees, taking shelter in your chest.
Your head held up so high,
Not because of pride,
But because the tears won't stop drowning every inch of you.
Because your mouth is trying to take in every last bit of breath.
Because your hair is a silk veil that covers what is now left in ruins.

This kind of suffocation.
The one where you can't take breaths to stay alive.
The one where your lungs are so empty for you to scream, to shout so they can notice your pain.
This is the kind of suffocation where you're amongst people yet feeling everything so deeply.
They ask you to laugh, but they don't know that once you try to move your lips, you will suffocate.

I think I'm better six feet under,
Lay me to rest and let everyone wonder,

What happened they will enquire,
A soul,that's buried deep down an empire,

Has no one tried to save her at all?
They put her out of her misery as they watched her fall.

Into the deep abyss she struggled,
To watch the life get ****** out of her while she suffered,

For a breath she gasped,
With bloodshot eyes and bleeding hands she grasped,

Onto the hope of living,
But her blood wouldn't stop spilling

A girl that now lies on her back,
Full of pain and sorrow and a heart painted black,

Suffered to revive from a hard fall,
To let go of her past she couldn't at all,

She got the strength to get up and try,
And go out with the phrase "I'm fine"she will lie,

She Decided to go out and explore the world,
Yet in her own mind she's still trapped with all her thoughts curled,

She looked around and thought to herself,
Where has humanity left and the sanity of oneself?

Yet she continued down that dark path,
Only to find herself overflowing with wrath,

The rage of what the world has become,
The feeling inside of her ever so numb..

The heat surrounded her speechless tongue,
With air flowing to her burning lung,

She looked up into what seemed like a sky,
For all shades of red she saw with her naked eye,

She was now alone in what seemed to be the middle of nowhere,
She sought for a soul,but her loneliness she couldn't bare,

A girl that would die for her freedom,
Not realising that death had its own price in this kingdom,

She tried to find a way out, with a throat too gashed to yell,
That's when the devil whispered,
Welcome to hell.

--

I’ve spent years longing for an end, A little kiss of death.
How about a little taste of hell?
I wanted to cleanse my soul,
let the devil feed on my remains,
My heart, my lungs, my forsaken touched body. A messenger of hell.
A Raven.
It set on my windowsill
We exchanged looks like I was
Edgar Allan Poe,
And the raven was about to quote
“nevermore”.
The Raven had already tapped my window, Once,
twice, three times now.
Third time is a charm they said,
Maybe it will all be gone now.
With every tap, my mind was ready to stop, To die, to find an
end.

I was awoken by another tap at my window.
My eyes had widened at the beautiful red chested ray of hope that was at my windowsill. I saw the beautiful creature and I was able to breathe, oh, I have never been happier to breathe.
My body had a sense of renewal, And that was all I needed. Something that brought me back,
A Robin,
Had set a nest on the tree across my window,
I watched as he, who I consider to be mine, Approach my window and stand under that tree. The Robin now looking down on him, looking up on me.
The Robin, now rests above him, Nested like a crown on a king’s head.

Do you ever wonder what happiness feels like?

When the beating of your heart finally stops echoing in your ear,
When your last tear falls and your eyes shut into an eternal abyss,
When your skin starts tearing up from the inside all the way out.

Your bones have no shelter left,
So they just embed in the same soil where flowers grow.

And now flowers are growing out of your lungs,
What once were your lungs.

Your bones,
And every shred of your flesh
Became beautiful.

Did you really have to die to become something scenic?
Now you’re just a beautiful aroma,
A splendor that grows and gets picked up by someone who could’ve been the love of your life,
Only to be given to the love of his life.
To be tucked behind her ear,
To hang off her long black silk hair

Now you’re just a flower that’s passed around,
Touched.
Abandoned.

She will take you out of her hair when the day is over,
She’ll leave you on her desk,
She’ll leave you there one day after another.

You’re going to start feeling your petals falling apart,
And your stem wilting,
And your core aching.
Did you really have to die to become something scenic?
Did you really have to die twice to prove that happiness doesn’t exist?

I cut my wrists open, i begged you to hold me, i bled on you, you wouldn't hold me.
I held my hands up for you to save me, you wouldn't even look at me.
I was drowning in my own blood,where is my ******* sanity?
I thought you were my happily ever after, my light in the dark.
What happened to that wish on a shooting star?
I would hear my heart rip open every night, over and over again.
I begged you to mend it, but you wouldn't touch something that's breaking.
You wouldn't want to be the blame.
You only touched me when you liked me, you only held me to blind me.
What did i do to deserve this?
An endless suffering. Alone.
You thought you made me happy, but then you walked away.
How can you make someone happy by taking away the only thing that made them feel alive? The only thing that made them feel a single ******* emotion.
Don't tell me you gave me the world, when all i wanted was you.
Don't tell me i deserve better, cause i had the best.
Don't give me words, when all i wanted was for you to hold me...

"I woke up one morning,
Looked at the daylight sky dripping red giving off a warning.
Like it was telling me that today you will feel agony,
Dear child, get your black gown on and mourn on your sanity,
It said to me with bleeding eyes,
Don’t cry over me dear god i screamed hearing thunder louder than my cries,
I ran to the bathtub holding my tool of recovering,
Looking up for forgiveness to this endless suffering.
I heard the skies laugh at me with one aim,
They were pleased with putting me to shame.
Blades went through my skin letting blood drip as slow as snow fall,
My eyes started to tear and my mouth ran dry and i had no one to call,
My heart started praying to what might come next,
It prayed to stop maybe that was for the best.
A wish was granted to that bleeding heart,
Which will forever be torn apart.
Bleed now you’ll never rest in peace,
You’ll eternally live here being torn piece by piece.”

I spent so many nights after you were gone,
Talking to these ****** walls,
Telling them stories about you.
Telling them how your perfection can move them.
How your feelings can create waves in the oceans,
How your smile could place the stars in my sky..
" he said he loves me " i spoke to them. I saw them move in waves around me. I saw them shift into what could be eternity.
Trying to drown me into them.
Trying to take me away from all this.
" leave me be " i said with my eyes dropping blood on the sheets.
My feelings leaking out of them as if they were rusted, leaking out of them as if they were of no use.
What would i want with my eyes if they can't see you? And what would i want with my body if it dsnt touch yours.
I took my hand and raised it high. Placed it on the wall, i was ready to die.
I felt the force of it pull me in, i felt it deep from within.
I shut my eyes, i dried my tears, i prayed to god and spoke what i feared. Take me away, was my only wish. But then i recalled that i was away..
When i was with him, i was in another place.
I was in my own heaven with my own angel.
I was the worst of the best but he didn't mind it.
I was his happiness and his smiles.
I was never the sadness in his eyes.
I opened my eyes, and looked around.
Took those pills and threw them out.
I don't want happiness if its not you, i don't want a life where i'm not loving you.
I crawled to bed and imagined him there,
Right there in my arms as i gave his face a kiss.
As my hands went through his hair, as my arm went down to his chest. Bare.
His chest that rose.
Bare.
Skin to skin i could feel him.. This was real to me.
I then smiled, and fell asleep.
Cause i don't mind seeing him here, i dont mind seeing him in my dreams..

A broken girl came to me with words,
Words that can anger the Gods,
Words that can make you fall in love,
Words that can **** you.

A broken girl came to me with a cry for help,
Miles and miles away,
I felt helpless.

A broken girl came to me like a drug,
I was hooked from the first word that slipped her tongue,
I was hooked from the first letter that bled onto paper,
Like her tears on my skin,
It burned like acid.
It made its way into my chest.

A broken girl came to me with venom in her veins,
I took her into my arms,
Let the venom get to my heart.

A broken girl came to with the wish of death,
I placed my lips onto hers,
Kissed the life from my lips onto hers.

I promised you to keep this broken girl safe,
I covered her with a veil and let her walk this miserable life with me,
Keeping all the other reapers from taking her,
Going against everything i believe in to keep her happy.
Now tell me, what Angel of Death gives up the opportunity to take a soul?
To give the kiss to end it all?
The kiss of Death.