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Jake Apr 2017
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I ****** you in the same bed that you wake up so in love with him every morning.
Jake Jan 2015
And when the fire dies,
I'll close my weary eyes.
And your words; a *****,
Burying all progress made.
And when it rains, it pours.
40%'s never made me so sore.
Jake Oct 2014
One after the other,
your laugh even changed.
Chuckles to snarls,
nothing more to be gained.

When all went black, and all came back..
I took it as an omen to reflect
to evaluate and dissect.

But you were:

Draped in satin and sin,
Lead eyes growing heavy, weary, dim.
Lay where you want, it all stains the same,
when in search of someone to blame.

Now there's something inside, churning so slow.
A day old hate fester, begging to explode.
A faux hatred, meaningless it's true.
An excuse to keep doing exactly what you do.

Incentive to change came in the form of a heart.
Light from a sunken chest bearing a new start.
Beating for you, screaming for you,
Taken for granted, ripped completely in two.

And I laid there every night
Wondering if you were even alive.
Your face burned so deep in my mind
Scorched past the clutches of time.

Still you cramp, wounded in the womb
Still you lay wrapped in satin and gloom
It's toxic how you stay,
It's toxic; a refusal to stray.
But I sit here my dear, day after day
Lathered in discomfort, bathed in dismay.
Might re-write.
Jake Feb 2015
I cant bank on my words
to change what's on my heart
My hands are calloused
but I'm still swinging in the dark
Something has to change
Help lines and hope wanes
It's been 400 days and I still feel the same
Baby lung alarm clocks
Substance fed anger
And I'm not moving anymore
3 hours of sleep is as good as it gets
Unloading threats; floating upon seas of regret
Weathering swells in a sinking ship
**** your pale skin, thin lips, and bony hips.
Jake Jan 2015
Do you think if I fell off your mountain,
And split my head in two..
You would see my thoughts,
and sew me back together again, too?

Just to..

Tell me I was brave,
that I was worth the save.
Tell me I'm what you crave,
that loving you is why I was made.
Jake Jun 2015
You're a fleeting delusion,
growing stale in my mind.
You're the black mass above,
blocking healing rays of light.

Singing the songs of sorrow that you keep.
Hung on the thought that life's climb is steep.

The lies and contempt that lay dormant in your head,
Pale to the rage burning inside my chest.
Deceit left a trail as you funneled through our lives,
Nothing looked the same, you bled the faith from our eyes.
Jake Nov 2014
And while misery is on the tip of your tongue,
Remember that's where my name always used to be.

Remember; when you reach for the stars,
They only ever burn holes in your hands.

And now a choked throat refuses to tell me everything it wants to spew.
But my hands are on your hips though, not your neck.
Jake Oct 2014
I'm glad your slate is clean.
Mine's still tarnished in filth and memories.
Now that you've cut yourself free from me.
Maybe now you'll find deep within,
You and Him ;
You're fragile and dim.

It's like you learned from the month of June,
To become alone and cold like the moon.
And I thought to my self on more than one occasion
"How miserable must I be" ;
Before you to came to a simple decision?

And don't you think its crazy;
How well our demons danced, and didn't mind?
It's like they forgot about us, as they spun intertwined.

When bottles felt like sky-scrapers
I removed your staples
I moved your mountains,
Wished on silver, that sunk in fountains.
I forced myself to be the foundation that kept you strong
It was no secret, you were my favorite song.

I'll shoulder a sadness, as you flourish,
I want so badly to break in search for new purpose.
A relentless optimist
Time to stumble and fall on clenched fists.

Still,
A broken back is better than a broken will.


*"So I'll get mine you get yours,
and if we're both happy it's settled forever more"
Jake Sep 2014
Spoken word poison,
Leaked on your bib, from all that you've chosen.
Under a sunken chest, chambers remain frozen.
Fighting for life all these years,
Time spent; tears over empty beers.
Your hesitance is what really grids whats left of these rusted gears.
Curled under your willow with nothing more than a weak smile,
Counting crows while you figure out a maze of denial.
Slipping through rough hands seems to be your guile.
And nothing's too good to be true,
At lips last meet, I thought you knew.
Appetent; my love, yet weary waiting for you.
Jake Mar 2016
Dead man, he walk alone.
Ripping at skin and bone.

Stifled by the comfort of shadow, his
Dead eyes fixed upon the horizon, they
Reveal everything that consume him, ******
Concealing evils with each movement.

Dead man, you are alone.
To bleed the lands in search of home.

These eyes are dead.

These eyes are dead.

These eyes are dead.

We're slaves to the numb.
Jake Nov 2014
Like the mountains we admired.
I'm time worn.
Once praiseworthy, mighty, enduring.
Sculpted by winds of change.
Carved by a harrowing gaze.
Reduced to sediment, caressed by the currents of time.

Like the seas we longed for.
I'm abundant.
Everlasting, spellbinding, looming.
Now polluted, rotting from the surface
Stagnant where I lie.
Once most of your world.

Like the winds; once at our back.
I'm adrift.
Fluent, nimble, restless.
Tempted by canyons, gullies, and meadows alike.
Hellacious squalls begging at sealed windows.
Searching for you.
Jake Nov 2014
The vinyl is spinning, but so is my head.
Words; a carousel, I've drowned in all that we've said.
Like the time, you're slipping through these hands.
Forever rose-colored, now cut me down where I stand.
Harmonize hymns of your past with mine.
Lay with me, as the vines of our lives intertwine.
Lay with me, in fields of gold.
Lay with me, let this unfold.
Stay with me, look up to the sun.
Let the past slip away, may it be undone.

Remove time's varnish from our equation.
And like your pillow, cling to sensation.
Return all that we've took.
Digress to the comfort and warmth of your nook.
Listen to the cracks in the floor as they speak.
Only whimpers and lies of this heart would excrete.

Now we sleep.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCQP3UXtihc
Jake Dec 2014
But this house is so cold,
and the walls are starting to speak.
Cracks in the floor are staring at me.
Shouldering the world, I'm growing so weak.

Though..

There's mud in my veins
and salt on my tongue.
There's songs in my lungs
that have yet to be sung.
Weaker knees have carried worse.
Lesser minds bare the same curse.
But.
They haven't the privilege of watching you dance.
Their wide eyes blind, but mine still in a trance.
I haven't forgotten the amber and honey swirl.
You're still my favorite girl.
Jake Nov 2014
A word with your smile,
Is all this heart wants right now.
Distance is poison.
Jake Jul 2015
I've got 3 dollars left,
And I'm trying to feel better.
I've got 300 miles,
And my head's in the nether.
These mountains are glorious,
Yellow, green and true.
Yet, I haven't gotten high enough;
To see over you.
There's a ghost in my body,
It haunts me every day.
But not the way your lips lied,
melted words, cried.
In struggle, I try;
To come to terms with the swells in my eyes.
It's not from the highway haze,
Or the sun's fierce gaze.
It's how I stumble,
Just to get lost in loves maze.
Jake May 2015
Songs of indigo,
Speak to the soul.
Contempt in the neck,
Lustful, hateful, peaceful dreck.

If that makes sense.  

Points on the map, but a new start,
Constellations to the heart.
Misdirection is constant and plenty.
God, you left this room so empty.
Jake May 2016
I've become a stranger to letting my wrists do the talking.
Words like drool from the corner of my lips,
and feelings of insignificance since I've been gone.

Though I feel more refined, there are wounds that are bleeding out,
and I'm still tending to the ruptures, while pinching off your thought.

The calming touch, withered and pale if I tried to describe it.
Cold, uninspired, as we run from it.
Jake Aug 2016
Rest, there's nothing left but to sleep.
Rest, there's nothing left but to sleep.

You remain captive inside a tomb.
A shell bearing the heart and soul.
Hollow, worn, and growing weak.
Everyday we're growing weak as;

Pale eyes carry light from within.

We can't exit life as it is.
Frail bones cracked, digging in.
Breathing life into disease again.

Swiftly it die, everything crumbles; a landslide.
Panic of the mind, all feeling subside.
Evils unseen, flooding lives; fear clings, death sings.
Begging on our knees for one moment of peace.

Why can't I feel this?
Why is this consuming me?
Why can’t I feel this?
What is this haunting me?
We're all trying to feel something more than this.
We're all dying to feel more human than this.

A wretched world spins 'round,
The spark of life is crushed inside our chests.

Defenseless to the grips of time.
So rest, and drift cured eternally.

Rest.

You'll remain captive inside a tomb

Pale eyes carry light from within.
Smother life inside our chest.

Weep.
Weep.
Weep.
Weep.
Jake Dec 2014
Heavy glow; round 2 of this game.
Shameless filters seep through the frame.
Remember the time we lay on your floor?
I woke up the next morning so drowsy and sore.
Driving home, cramped in a weary state.
Gaping holes in my soul, wailing, kept me awake.
Hit or miss, it's been 2 months,
Here I am again, alone, jumping every ****.

Remember welted eyes at 2 am in the car?
Remember sitting in the booth of your favorite bar?
Remember silence at the park bench?
Remember defending him in your defense?

Gaps in the conversation and moments too.
If only the songs I listened to could scream as loud as I could to you.
Bottles were nothing but a conversation piece.
And I ache there, stifled between two sheets.
Longing to hold all of you,
For you were the glue,
That kept everything from ripping in two.

Blatant mistakes of our past,
Keep what's to be had masked.
You know its true.
Your jaded eyes kept my sky a sharper shade of blue.

I remember all the times I thought I was wrong.
I remember "*******." after I showed you that song.
I remember utter distress.
I remember removing shrapnel words from my chest after you left.  

I don't know how many times I buried myself in the dirt.
Only to be picked up by the girl in the pizza pocket shirt.
I can't recall how many times she's heard me drone.
Only to be written off with a sigh and a moan.
P&J
Jake Jan 2016
P&J
You give me nothing
To share in the moments
That rip us apart
Jake Aug 2016
Do you have no reason to write?
Do the wrists that flowed like rivers stay bound?

Do you have no reason to sing?
And do the lips that sang my name stay locked to someone else's?



Reason.
Rx
Jake Nov 2015
Rx
Tangled in thoughts that
helped forget structure.
While numbing the senses,
to tend to the rupture.

Words struggle between crooked teeth..
When a will is weak.

N'there's a wracking sickness,
embedded deep in soft groans.
Casting all hope aside,
while wishing on skipping stones.

And sometimes I lose sight of what I say,
but her heart is a megaphone for memories anyway.

And so close is where I lay my head.

I hope she drowns in the love
pouring from my eyes.
Cures the sickness in my head,
and lays my sorrows to rest.

Because

The angry acoustics
Ringing through my empty home,
Remain submerged in the hollow of its bones.
Forever reminding me of the soulless
nights left drowning alone.

But how a simple touch from her silky tips..
Cures; and cultivates the sulk in my hips.
Motivates my soul.
To learn, strive and grow.
Jake Nov 2014
And quite frankly
I don't need God
Two wires to my ears, and a glass of whisky
Is plenty enough to guide me through the fog.

Yet.. Sometimes..
Sir Jameson won't drown out..
The tingle of lavender that still tickles my nose
Or the scent of the sheets, or the rain on the streets.

And sometimes..
Mr. Daniels won't blind me from..
The traps
It no longer soothe..
How her lips refused to move.
Jake Jan 2015
There's not a single star in the sky tonight,
Yet you're still lighting up my world.
Unearthing all my insecurities.
Calling what's left of me.
I can't go home tonight.
Not when those
eyes are as
weary as
mine.
Jake Dec 2014
And naked she walked
In catacombs of the mind.
Dwelling, haunting, persistent with time.

A burgundy hue relentlessly shine.
Draped in satin and sin.
White linen, adorned pale skin.

And naked she deceive.
Dancing in Autumn with acts of treason,
Embracing frigid winds of the season.

Curled fingers gripping a neck
Pacing my port-side deck.
Red heels, a vessel bearing fiction.
Rose cheeks, remorse stricken.
Jake Apr 2015
I'm not content.
Re-writing songs that remind me of you.
Taking words that aren't mine,
and wrapping them around what I wish
was us.
Sappy as ****
Jake Apr 2016
These days are wasted,
rotting on a box of cotton.

These days are wasted,
drawing chalk outlines on old words.

These days are wasted,
on 211 and hateful thoughts.

These days are wasted,
as stories with no titles.
Jake Jan 2015
Because I fought for your fragile dreams,
and made the world cease to exist.
Jake Apr 2015
I've got something to say.
And this time, it's less drunken word play.
For the past few days,
I've had day dream suicides.
About how this is going to turn into a story,
of how I've got to leave town,
and leave you with a sorry.
Jake Jan 2015
And I hate that I hate this.

So I stare at all these blank faces,
And void occupied spaces.

*While eating my silence,
We're losing our balance,
Trying to stand on the shoulders of giants.
Jake Feb 2015
I can't get used to not sleeping.
And I scare myself to death,
Every time I close my eyes.
Burned deep inside, the face I never met.
I've come to learn, I'll never be free.
There won't be one single moment of peace
as long as you're forcing yourself through me.
And my backyard is graveyard for cigarettes,
but the grass isn't the one dying of cancer and regret.
And my knees were never weak.
Even when I held you on my shoulders;
and you refused to speak,
your face was screaming every day of the week.
I don't want to feel love through a picture frame,
and telling her I love her never felt the same.

And with it, it feels like I'm bound,
To live a long life without the taste of success.
To walk with broken feet on hollow ground.
And I've lost my way,
Counting blessings in the sky.
Drowning memories and clearing haze
trying to remember warmer days.
And I veer off paths, but never in vain.
While I pave my own, those pale hands kept me sane.
I really don't know what to do with this anymore at all. I've been trying to write it for 2 months now.
Jake Nov 2014
I've grown.
But hate these words.
I hate my own.
x3
Jake Aug 2015
x3
Swore to the stars to be done writing for love.
I'm a man of my word, so I'll curse at the sun.
Jake Dec 2014
One wing dipped in gold.
One wing dipped in blood.
The pale cheeks house a forked tongue.

— The End —