You don't need to know
What's good for you, sweetheart,
Because I already do.

First, ten gulps of Grey
on your empty day, then
4 em-els ******, cooked

IV push

Now shush baby hush,
Just remember this much:
Your only job is to breathe.

But if you forget,
Harm will never be met.
I will give you my breath till you leave.

She will never know
(You put on a great show)
'bout the life or death moments we share.

...and I'm  wondering bout the day
When you'll walk away,
Cuz it no longer pleases you to care.

(I'll still be there)

You talked and I listened
And I watched your eyes glisten
As you crazily gathered your tools

Both our heart rates went up
At the touch of that stuff
We made bad after badder decisions

Then you'd lean into me
Talking maniacally
Hold your hot head until you were quiet

What you gave to me
Was this feeling of free
But your *******? Well I didn't buy it

Now don't get me wrong
This is a love song
You are gorgeous, conflicted and clever

I remember us best
Watching bubbles coalesce
And the feeling that we'd live forever

I can't let you go
But you won't come back in
You're staying in the wings
You see me as a friend

But I don't see a friend
With you, I never could
You made me feel complete
and I never thought I would

My love, it's such a shame
To watch you turn away
Because you feel the same
But you can't take the pain

Babe you don't understand
Why you act this way
Three quarters of a man--
Can't localize your shame

But I can't  help you now.
I can't ******* save this.
Turned every trick I know.
You'll never understand it

Concede defeat?
(My God's a *****)
But I've tried everything,
And I know my hardest work
Won't change a ******* thing.

So.
Farewell, Love.
Farewell, my life
Love, your doctor
And your wife.

(Your heart, your heart
  eyes glimmering, ohh
Your heart, you're smart
  Passing me by
Your heart, your heart
    it was all MINE
Black pool eyes, your heart
   making me cry)

So.
I guess this is goodbye?
Birdie, fly.
And so will I.

Never nice,
He's a block of ice,
But when he hugs me
I melt from his heat.
I am a puddle
At his feet.

I'm here, in this--
God. All the time.
n' nothin changes
but my mind.

Pills n potions
Keep me blind
For just a teaspoon
Of my time.

You've loved and
Thought of me--
you're kind;
But you'll get over it in time.

Don't wanna play.
I've changed my mind.
You get this, love?
I've changed my mind.

We're out of time.
I've changed my mind.
Nothing's a "go".
I've changed my mind.

Tears make me blind
I've changed my mind
I choke on sobs
I've changed my mind.

I'm free!
I'm free!
There's no freedom to find...

I'm already free
cuz I've changed my mind.

I so wanted to be
What was meant to be

But this world
It's not meant for me

Not what I thought
It was meant to be

Not for me
It's not meant for me

Not today
or as far as I can see

Not for me
Not meant for me

I'm in your brain like ***** vapor.
Vape away, boy, let me take ya

I'll blow your mind
I'll blow your mind
I'll blow your mind

My mind will take you far.
I see how scared you are.

I'll blow your mind
I'll blow your mind
I'll blow your mind

Let your intentions shine.
I'll ******* blow your mind.

I'll blow your mind
I'll blow your mind
I'll blow your mind

I hammer me like ******
To vibe the level you are in.

I'll blow your mind
I'll blow your mind
Blow your ******* mind

Don't wanna see inside?
I shut my eyes, but you are blind.

I'da blown your mind
I'da blown your mind
Yeah, I'da blown ya

Whispered doubts come not from darkness but from truth.

and You: I know you're invested--
Probably more than you should be.

...But who am I to say:
"Save your soul and get away?"

Flipping, floating flurries 
My thoughts belong to me alone

And in the bed, with soft fanned air, 
Your body's grace and mind's desires
too often noticed by just you.

I won't call you no more
I can't love you no more
I won't bug you no more
I don't like you no more

Baby you sealed this fate
When you walked out our door.

So what am I still waiting for?
What am I still crying for?
I was born to be a star.
No foot on my back anymore.

Be careful what you wish for.
Just be careful what you wish for.

I won't come around no more,
and you can't hurt me anymore.

Hear ya laughing
at TV--
You should be
Holding back my hair.

I woke up
From a coma
And I could not
Find you there.

I buy and wrap
My birthday gifts--
write your name
On the card.

I wanna trust your
'Good Intentions'
But you make it
Really hard.

You look in a pond
And you
See your
Own reflection.

You're crazy hot
And beautiful
And you love
All that attention.

You're missing
All the magic
That life
Has to bring,

But when
I try to show ya,
You do this
Sarcastic thing.

I really want
To love you.
I'd make you
Feel so high...

I really want
To like you,
But you're angry
All the time.

Why can't I
Just leave you?
Cuz we're connected
At the soul.

I always thought
I'd love a man
Who made me feel
Like gold.

I'm stuck to you though,
Baby,
Just like you're
Stuck to me.

But some days...
Some days...
I dream that
I am free.

I am free!
I am free!
I love ya,
But I'm free!

I'm a ride or die
But I'm in ICU
Tell me that you'll fight for me
Or Ima die on you

You  imagine you're Golden
Strutting down these shining streets-
Well that was me, my little Sweets
Tossing glitter at your feet.

Your path won't be so bright
Without me now.

May your memories of the worst of me
Consume thee, follow, swallow thee.
Not knowing what will never be --like
never free. Not like me.

May joy always elude you
And may the blackest cloud surround you
Until your final, dismal day
When you realize no one loves you.

You want to know how far I've come?
Test my battery with your tongue
And don't think you're
The only one.

Love is mean?
I'm not mean.
You're so mean,
So ******* mean.

We always do what YOU want.
You've never known what I want.
You never really cared to know
Wow now! you're sorta scared to know!

But you know me.
I'm easy, my Sweet.
You're my ride--
Just play n repeat.

Your tears--not of gold,
But of arsenic and clove
Sting my outsides,
Burn my insides--
Baby you're so ******* cold.

Get me BAKED
By honey sunshine,
Side by side and intertwined.
Give our ******* up
To ocean breezes--
Leave our troubled past behind.

Would y'ave liked me better
If my insane had a bow on it?

Cuz like maybe you'da had like
a lot more to show for it?

Like you really thought you'd
landed gold, man, cmon.

Like, what've you done to deserve
landing gold? I mean...

I am a figure in your life's
worst nightmare it seems

You know cuz I'm like yo
REALITY QUEEN

Now do what you want or
Do what you must

Turn your back
Close your eyes
and will me to dust.

Aim low.
Glide slow.
Don't stop dreaming,
We will fly.

First show me this city
Fade to sleep,
Under our feet,
while our eyes beam sky.

You don't need me,
So I like you.
Shades of cruel
are shades of cool.

You're so good.
(That's what you say.)
Don't want you
Any other way.

Rebel minds with
Rebel souls.
I'm your girl.
You make the rules.

If I'm wrong,
You'll let me know.
Grab-pull me tight:
Just don't let go.

Strong and safe,
I feel you here.
Yank me, push me,
Pull me near.

Feet firm on Earth,
My soul can't stray.
No, you won't let me
Go away.

God-Blue Gold,
Your song I've sung
and ground to dust,
Laid on my tongue

and in my nose.
Feel burn, taste tin,
You hurt so good--
Slapped sunburnt skin.

In and out
How goes my breath.
I sprinkle more
On breath at depth.

Feel at peace.
Feels like success.
A job well done
while I'm at rest.

Could it possibly
get better than this?

One more sniff
just can't be wrong.
I taste your bitter
Promise Song.

And I know
You'd never lie.
Blue-Ground Gold,
You make me high.

I'll breathe and sigh.
I smoke I sigh
And maybe for a moment
Die

I welcome numb slow dark
I sigh
Can't think of better way
To die

When Heaven slams me back
I find
My hurt-true love
Has robbed me blind

You're a trip, ****!
Walking my strip,
Goofy spring in your step
With your ***** and your chick.

You've got nerve, man,
and you can't afford it.
Got no rights to your swagger--
There's no cool to support it.

Learn some new tricks
Long as you're hangin round
Through my night-lit-up window
Bring a pen, write it down.

Toss your coin in a well.
Now dive back in to get it.
Surprise! This well is dry.
Oops! You just smashed your head in.

I thought I was your whole world,
but you kissed your world Good-Bye.
I'm still waiting for you, Gorgeous
with an unbelieving mind.

You and Me, yes we're a Toxic Pair
Toxic pair, a toxic pair.
Ya know what? I don't ******* care.
I don't care! I don't care!

We'll hurt no one but each other,
and that pain, it won't last long.
We'll each lick it off the other
Then hold hands and yell love songs.

They're all written just for us, you know,
to sing inside our Cardboard Box.
  And if you can't find your way home,   Sweetheart,
Just follow my trail of lucky rocks.

Whirlpool water--
See the water go 'round?
Some thoughts are like that,
They never touch ground.

I knew I was guarded,
and that wasn't fair--
but my Ugly had reached heights
I thought no one should bear.

I thought it was a given
that you'd always be mine...
but I didn't listen,
and now it's good-bye.

Through the years all the badness
You saw in me--your adored--
I guess it comes to a point where
disgust can't be ignored

I do not blame you,
I'm just so ******* sad
To think of the future that we'll
Never have.

God! What I'd give to flip that
Whirlpool switch,
Start the world swirling backward
to erase all this ****!

But I guess it's too late
Your memories can't be wiped.
(...or can they be, Baby?
  I'll do EVERYTHING right)

No one will ever love you
As deeply as I--
But even so, you'll probably
be better off next time.

I'm sorry you loved me!
So sorry you loved me!
I'm sorry you wasted
15 years of your time...

But just know how very
Happy you made me
When I'd look at the beauty of you
("he is mine!")

Dear God,
Do I really belong
in this world?

And if so,
Heavenly Father,
Please help me hang on.

You've put me through hell, it's true,
and nobody understands you
...but I do.
   I do, I do...

If you call me, I'll come,
and if you beg for me, I'll run.

We'll owe no one a thing.
Just us two.
Just us two.

Say my name, Babyboy,
My God I have missed you!
I've patted your side of the bed,
expecting to feel you.

Where are you, my Love?
Where the **** are you?
If I build our Cardboard Box,
Will I finally find you?

I'll lay blankets on the floor,
tape paper flowers to the walls,
Fluff your pillow like you like:
Baby, I am wailing your name!

I'll take you to heaven and back,
then sing softly to your neck--
Kiss you so sweet, taste your tears
Till warm sleep wraps you in her arms.

Do you remember me now?
Do you remember me Boy?
That's how it always used to be.
My adoration speared the sky.

So if you call for me, I'll come,
and if you beg for me, I'll run.

Come now, take a bath.
I'll wash your hair & clean your skin,
and I will dry your body off with kisses
when you're done.

Just loved to feel and taste you.
Stronger than a memory,
You're me--
No matter where and what you are,
a part of you is me.

And if you call for me, I'll come.
Baby beg for me, I'll run.

I'll always love you, Jason John.

Symmetry means not-at-all
When the beauty is fading.
Skin-deep, threadbare, sketch-thin,
******* that body you were made in!

If I put a bullet in your head,
You will go like all the rest.
Blackened rot and seep-stank bloat--
now baby: Who's the Best?

Can you, for real?
--forget amazing?
Are you settling
Way Down?
Dumb ***** talks ****
Through pretty lips
So, what. You play along?

I really thought I knew ya,
But now I'm glad I don't.
True Brilliance needs
To dump Her Trash
To keep Her Life afloat.

Farewell to you.
You're pretty, Boy,
and you've got swag and flair.
But that won't matter
When you die alone, unloved,
and scared.

Violence over silence
If you'd hit me, I'd known you feel

Your ability to erase me is
What's sealed this ugly deal

I wish I could forget you
But I'm not a sociopath

So is it wrong I'd love to **** you
and take pleasure in your death?

There is a thin line, and
I've stayed on the Godly side.
Right hip, right ear, lean heavenly
Just to hear your side.

My God! I crazy loved you.
Turned upside down, I wasn't                
  scared.
If you were close, your heat by me,
I never ******* cared.

Even as you brought me down,
I gave my all--so readily.
We watched our lives burn down
  around--
Who cares? You were my Clyde,
  baby!

I gave you all--and now, what?
And now you give me black?
I blinked several burn-**** times
Then realized you weren't coming back.

So now, I'm still here, on that line,
But now I'm leaning leftward-side.
Hungry, dark eyes are focused wide
and I'd love just to watch you die.

I hope you're terrified.
I hope you're terrified.
My ******* God-Felt dying wish
Is that you're *******  terrified.

I've coiled a golden snake
Round the base of my ring finger.
It takes up all the space
Where your promise used to be.

Its tail points toward my heart,
And its head is arching outward.
My hope is that someday,
You will slither free from me.

When you left me, babe,
You must have thought it through--
Because you took your guns,
And all your bullets, too.

And so, deep down,
I guess I know you knew
That I'da shot myself,
and I'da shot you, too.

And you know?--Babydoll?
I'm *******, in a way,
Cuz we'd have stayed eternal--
Souls combined, and on the fray.

And it would have been
So much easier that way.
It would have been so easy
That ******* way.

You're young. You're dope. You're        
  FREE!
You've forgotten about me.
Maybe one day you will see
that "kindred soul thing"
is the key.
But if you come crawling
back, baby,
  I'ma tell you, "it's not me".
You won't get my love fyor free.
You can't  have my love for free.

You were my spring
Baby, you were my springtime
You were my start of
my everything new.

I felt ELECTRIC
When you pulled me closely
And said "I want nothing more
than to love you."

Did you say that to her, too?
Did you say that to her, too?

If I drown inside
  this bottle--
Gasping breath, with
  Sea-Wide eyes,
Will I taste your
Honey, Bunny?
Sweet,
Unspoiled by your
Lies?

don't let it wear off
don't ever sober up
life is pain enough
life is pain enough

if I see it clear,
I have to close my eyes
too much for me to bear
I'll hug my truth & bounce the lies

I bounce them back to you
I bounce them back to you
I bounce them back to you
I bounce them back to you

I'll press my face into this cool
my soft, dark truth
where I am free
I bounced the lies to you

don't bounce them back to me
don't bounce them back to me
don't bounce them back to me
don't bounce them back to me

Baby we can't survive.
I really wish we could, but
You've got a massive magnet soul
That my own clings to, love.

You ate my cancer just fine.
I wanna thank you for that.
You threw it back up on me,
But I still love you for that.

You're up I'm up, I'm down you're up
That's how magnetism works
Your depthless eyes and wayward heart
Decoupling, flexing, God this hurts  

You need your image, love.
You know I'll give you that.
You've always played the victim
Not the ******* Reigning Champ

Why do I love you?
I cannot list the reasons why.
Our souls join only other-worldly
Here, it's all a lie.

We owe a debt. Yesterday's gone.
We're gonna face this, love.
Or we could just demagnetize
Backs burning, sun above.

I lost you, but
I found me.
I lost you, but
I found me.

Do ya really think you'll
Find your wish, Boy?
No one will love you with
The fervor and the fever like me

When you walked out
You didn't know what you were
Leavin baby
You'll feel it later as a black hole
Absent heart

I lost you, but
I found me.
I lost you, but baby
I found me.

You spin your **** so well
I almost believed you
You couldn't face the fact
That you're not perfect, Boy

You're gorgeous; warm stone body
Tribute: Rock you all night
I startled when I realized
It's an empty ****** shell

I lost you, but
I found me.
I lost you, but
I found me.

It's a trade off I can live with
Though it took a minute
Sometimes I lose my grip
I feel you tugging on me, Boy

But I won't turn around no more
I'm where I need to start:
Right here
Without the man who was my best friend and my shining star.

I lost you, but
I found me.
I lost you, but
I found me.

I give you back your heart.
It means nothing to me.
I lost you, but baby
I found me.

My heart lies open
Dissected and broken
While yours beats above me
Like a bird set free.

You ******* Coward
I gave you my heart,
And you chewed it and
**** it as you walked
Out the door.

I bent down to meet you
But you pulled me under, and you've kept me tame
with your foot on my back.

I can repair me, cuz
I've got the skills to.
My gifts will make
Gorgeous this once shredded heart.

You've flown away, but
Without looking backward
You'll smash into glass
With your unseeing eyes.
Good Bye.

Happy days, laugh and song.
Laugh and song, all night long.
Shades of warmth.
Shades of cool.
Turn or sting: shades of cruel.

Climb up high. Far and tall.
Lose your grip. Long hard fall.
Pull away. Snap the line.
There's no coming back this time.

Fly away, dusk till Dawn.
Fly fly fly and now you're gone.
Leave your shell.
Set you free.
Leave the dust of shell for me.