Seeing truth in fake eyes
Honesty in real lies
Hope where there should be none, expectations surrealized
Trust given, trust broken, trust lost
Emotional numbness, an overall frost
Betrayed by the heart so naive and new
A product of society, meant to be tossed
Once a player in the game
Beaten at it and put to shame
Aware, yet seduced by your siren-like charm
Wild, but tender and wanting to be tamed

Chasing pretty thoughts
I'm just chasing pretty thoughts.

Thoughts planted not by my hand
For reasons I don't understand
Encouraging an intimate feel
Then going back on everything planned
Mind ******, body in the same condition
Foolishly following an apparition
Faint whispers and caresses, the only fool left wishin'
Allegedly smart but lacking intuition
You should have known they said
Should have seen that coming
Should have ignored the energies that were humming
Should have muted the heartbeat that was drumming

But I didn't.

Instead I chose to fall
Knowing I'd never have it all
Hoping you'd feel something for me no matter how small

I was wrong.

Let's pretend
             For however fleeting of a moment
That you really do care
             In a fantasy, we could exist together
That you're more than just a body devoid of feeling
            Not just living, but loving as we were meant to do
That your words held depth
            Only in my head
You're mine.

Come with me
Leave this world
As our feet near the doorway
And the floor starts to drop
We board the ship.

Lay your head back
Close your eyes
As we separate from the anchors holding us in this realm.

Feel nothing
See everything
As the universe tells its tale.

Breathe in
Breathe out
As faces wave and colors envelope us.

Just be.

Ridicule me. Degrade me. Lie to me.
Don’t be nice
It’ll take much more than that
To crack this heart of ice
Sweet somethings slip in one ear
And out the other
I could listen
But why bother?
It’s not real

And I’ll open my eyes
And you’ll be gone
Like the hope I once had for love
Fragile feelings found deep
Laying dormant as they sleep
Refusing to acknowledge the loneliness I keep
Let’s just go to bed

I’ll lay wrapped in your arms
And feel miserable
And ignore the happiness
Lurking in my head.

Concealed under my shell
No one sees me
I am safe
Not from you.

Your curious mind
With some extra time
And suddenly I'm exposed.

My markings a novel you peruse
Do you comprehend?
Well, how could you.

I'll get to work
My shell will be unbreakable
But I no longer exist beneath it.

I want it to last
But it won't
The patterns of our pasts
Trump my hope
History repeating
Broken hearts continue beating
Just barely, with caution
Always threatening retreating

It's not a matter of how, it's when
To break the bond and cause our end
It's inevitable my lover friend
Nothing we can do
But to let it go and move on, then

However, at this time,
I can't make up my mind
I imagine you as mine
You can't commit
That's not a crime

Buying this dime to forget about you is
Smoking you out of my system when all I want is your kiss
Avoiding being the one to get dissed
I'd rather forget than dwell
One day you will be missed.