I hate the way you look at me.
You look at me like I'm worthless, nothing.
You see someone who shouldn't be.
A disgrace, a broken dream.
Someone you never wanted, someone who couldn't be.
The blood in my veins doesn't matter to you.
I'm not the son you wanted to live through.
You've crushed my heart and shattered my dreams.
I've tried all my life to gain your love,
But all the things I've ever done,
They mean nothing to you, nothing at all.
You see a failure, the reason to fall.

I just needed you.
I needed you to tell me it was ok.
I came to you broken.
I came to you in pain.
I reach out for you.
And you slapped my hand away.
You told me of your pain.
You said I shouldn’t complain.
I apologized to you.
I ripped my heart out for you.
And all you said was yeah, Ok.
You put my heart in fear.
Made me sick with worry.
You must mean more to me.
Then I meant to you.
Because you gave me nothing.
When I died for you.

What are you running from?
What do you think you’ll find?
When the battles lost,
And there’s no place to hide.
Do you think you can,
Stand up in the end?
When all time has stopped,
And all hope has died.

What if you lose your heart?
What if you fall apart?
When the world lies,
And you’re left to cry.
Do you think you can,
Stand up in the end?
When the fight is lost,
And your strength is gone.

What if you found you had been betrayed?
What if you could never fix it?
When everyone you loved walks away,
And you can’t pick up the pieces.
Do you think you can,
Stand up in the end?
When you know everything is gone,
And you are left all alone.

What are you going to do?
What are you going to say?
When you’re at the end of the line,
And you’re running out of days.
Do you think you can,
Stand up in the end?
When time gives out,
And you’ve gone cold.

You look at me with that sadness in your eyes.
The look that makes it hard not to cry.
The pain is still fresh like it happened yesterday.
And I know there is nothing I can say but this...
Just remember her, remember her smile.
Remember her laugh and the way she danced.
Just remember her, let her memory last.

I’ll walk in silence with you,
I’ll stand in the shadows too.

If you need me I’ll come,
No questions asked for none.

But someday I’ll need you.
Will you come too?

Or is this a one sided deal?
Where only my time is for real.

Will I be left to defend myself?
Or will you be there above all else?

But if I die,
Before you arrive.

Will you bring my body back,
And for all the family that I lack.

Will you bury me,
Beside the sea.

Where I may rest in peace.

If I was brave
I would take your offer and runaway.
I’d burn every bridge
And watch smoke choke the sky.
Because this bleeding heart can’t survive anymore.
Not with all these lies.

I’ve been running since you told me to go.
Never stopped to breathe even though it hurts.
Feet bleeding,
Heart pounding but I won’t stop running.

I’ve been running for so long.
I don’t know if I can stop.
Not sure I’ll know how to walk.
It’s probably not worth it.

Only death will make me stay,
Here or some other place.
All I know is how to run,
And push away the pain.

I’ve been running since you told me to go.
Grabbed my things and left home.
Never to come back.
Never to stop running.

To lose your heart,
To save a life.
To know the truth,
But tell only lies.

As I fall down, the darkness pulls me under.
Trying to drown, me in this crazy sea.

Won't someone come and save me,
from this life, that I lead.
Hold me close, as the world ends.

I can't see the light, at the end of the tunnel.
Going under, the darkness pulls me down.
Fighting just to remember, life before,
I lost myself.

Won't someone come and save me,
from this life, that I lead.
Hold me close, as the world ends.

I'm losing this battle, with my soul.
Trying to fight for this freedom,
That I can't hold.

Flashes of lightning, sounds of thunder.
I have to wonder, why did this happen to you?

What did I do?
To cause the love to shatter,
Like broken glass we scatter.

Won't someone come and save me,
from this life, that I lead.
Hold me close, as the world ends.

Words can't say how sorry I am.
To go back and change it again.
But I can't change who I am.

Fighting hard to stay sober,
As my blood runs colder.
The future is open and closed.
I just pray I have hope.

Won't someone come and save me,
from this life, that I lead.
Hold me close, as the world ends.

She walks in the shadows
Pure of heart.
Of the demons
But the angels watch.

She belongs to both words
Yet, is in between.
Not quite there.
Not quite seen.

And if you ask what’s her name.
No one knows to this day.
She is a spirit that runs free.
She is a ghost, unseen.

There are whispers
That no one hears.
There are voices
Everyone fears.

She is not real
She shouldn’t be.
Not quite human.
Not quite beast.

Of the demons
But the angels watch.
But one day
She will get caught.

As I get happy my voice gets loud
You tell me to be quite and I have to wonder
Would it be better if I had duck tape over my mouth

My happiness fades and so does my light
My heart breaks a wound not at all slight
Tears want to fall, my throat closes up

Do you car at all?

Silver tape over my mouth,
The silence is stretching.
Even with the tape off
You never heard me,
Just someone in the background.
Half of me hates this,
The other doesn't care.
If I walk away,
It's like I was never there.
Was I there?
Standing here waiting to be seen,
To be heard!
Is that so wrong?
Is that too much?
I ask you to see me,
To see who I can be.
The person you want,
The person you need.
You just need to listen.
Listen to me!
I strip off the silver tape
And walk away.
Refusing to watch
The world slip away.

Some hearts break, some hearts mend,
Some hearts are never the same again.
Sometimes you have to move on.
Sometimes you have to crawl before you can run.
Some hearts bend, some harden,
Some hearts are never whole again.
Sometimes you have to breathe.
Sometimes you have to die a little, in order, to live.

I wish I had a me to talk to.
Someone to listen to me and give me advice.
Just like I do for others.

Oh, but I had her once.
Long before I knew just how much I would need her.

It's too late now.
Four years this September to be exact.
The 27 marks the date I lost my last defense.

Please don't give up on the sound of goodbye.
Let me know that you're leaving so I don't cry.

If you don't love me, just go right now.
Stop playing your games, thinking I can take it somehow.
At least tell me the truth, so I don't have to pretend that I'm OK.

Please don't give up on the sound of goodbye.
Let me know that you're leaving so I don't cry.

When you close the door it won't open again.
If this love isn't real then I'll seal my heart from you.

Peel back the layers of what went wrong.
Was it ever right at all?

Please don't give up on the sound of goodbye.
Let me know that you're leaving so I don't cry.

I'll know it's not my fault, but yours.
You are the one who choose to walk out the door.

I miss her so much.
The beat of her heart.
The sound of her feet,
Running across the yard.
She was so beautiful, so smart
The loss of a child,
Can break any heart.
No parent should ever have to bury their child.
But it happens far too often.
That thought is just vile!
One wonders how anyone can ever smile.
When someone so young is gone.
She shone so bright,
And loved so much.
Now I am left at a loss.
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know how to live,
Without my sunshine,
I don’t know how to give.
I swear the world lost its light,
The day my sweet girl died.

I miss you.
I wish I could talk to you.
I wish I could say to you all the things I need to.
I wish I could talk to you about boys,
About the future,
About my fears,
And I wish I could tell you I love you.

I wish I could pour my heart out to you.
Tell you about the lowest thoughts that run through my mind.
Have you tell me my worth.
Tell me that these thoughts are wrong.
Tell me that I matter,
To you, to them,
Tell me that you love me.
For you were my best friend.

But there is one thing
Above all else I wish to tell
For you were my chosen sister, my best friend.
Thank you.
Thank you for being there even though you had to leave me in the end.

Often I wonder if you even know my name.

Or am I just someone you bring in from the rain?

Sometimes I speak and you don’t hear me.

And it breaks my heart wondering if it’s worth having a voice.

Am I given a choice?

To choose to live without you,

Or live a fake life.

The choice is clear but harder than you think.

I’ve lived so long with you.

That our end can’t possibly be here.

How could you be so blind to me?

How could you not realize that I was bleeding?

How could you be so cold?

How could you not know?

That I love you.

How can you blame me for being who I am?

To try to strip me of all I am.

She puts on the mask of a happy daughter.
Her friends are jealous of her life.
No one knows that she’s alone because her parents are never home.
How long until she breaks under the pressure?
How long until the feeling of unloved takes her life?

She wears a mask like her favorite superheroes.
Trying to hide behind that sweet smile.
But inside a war is raging.
Inside her heart is breaking.
Inside the truth screams out.

He wakes up and the mask comes on.
Hiding the pain of watching his sick mother dying.
No one knows that their losing everything they have.
How long until he’s alone on the streets?
How long until he steals or dies, because he has no home?

He covers up the pain with his attitude.
Pretending that he owns the world.
But inside a war is raging.
Inside his heart is breaking.
Inside the truth screams out.

Acceptance is all they wanted.
Unconditional love from someone.
Never got that kind of feeling at home.
They might as well be alone.

We all wear a shape of a mask.
Whether it’s every day or occasionally.
It’s hard to keep your heart wide open.
For the fear they might not like what they see.

That cross right there.
A name carved there.
A girl so young.
A girl well loved.

Seventeen and beautiful.
Full of life, full of love.
Remembered forever for dying young.

Always in our hearts,
Imprinted on our souls,
Living in our memories,
As we continue alone.

A girl so powerful a town mourned.
A girl whose death left us all torn.
A girl whose love as so warm.

Today would have been your twentieth birthday,
But you aren’t here to celebrate.
And at the end of the day I don’t regret,
The time I had and the way we met.

Your friendship was an anchor,
And without it I would have drowned.
But there are still days I feel I’m going down.

See that cross right there.
A name carved there.
She was my best friend.
And now she is gone.

Closed off, divided.
Separate, fighting.
A warning, shouted.
Time stops, hearts pounding.
Another, one, falls.
A mother, a father.
A sister, a brother.
Another, one, falls.
A heart stops, pounding.
The battle, is fought.
They answered, the call.
Faith is, a struggle.
To fight or, to follow.
Sound, the, call.
Stand on, the front lines.
Wait for, the signal.
This, is, war.
Tomorrow, today.
Always, the same.
Another, one, falls.
The enemy, is coming.
Fear is, abounding.
Time, is, gone.
Whose side, are you on?
Flee or, follow?
This, is, War.

You feel insignificant.
Not even worth it.
Nothing but a replacement,
Waiting for the real thing.

You live in the shadows.
A ghost in the hall.
No one seems to see you,
Not even when you’re gone.

You strive for perfection.
It’s all you can give.
Just your brain and your body,
To do the right thing.

They think you’re mad.
Crazy with loss.
The final straw broke,
But you’ll show them all.

Little brother is what he used to say.
But now it’s different.
He has someone new,
The real thing.

So what if he lied.
You knew the truth.
You weren’t meant to stay,
But it still hurt.

You go on your mission.
To prove what you know.
That your “father” is alive,
Just stuck back in time.

You are right he is alive.
And your “brother” apologizes,
For not believing you.
But the damage is done.

The truth is you’re not needed any more.
Your job is done.
Leaving to start on your own,
Because you’re not one of them.

They say you are family.
But you know they are just words.
For you will stay,
So they can control you.

Now things are different.
You are on your own.
But if you should need them,
You can call home.

Trouble has found you.
All hope is lost.
You call and call,
But you get no response.

You lay there bleeding out
No one to save you from hell.
Last breath
Where are you now?

I don't think you understand what you've done.
The hurt you've caused,
The fear you've brought.
She is your child, your love.
But you put her last,
And you above.
You don't understand what you lost,
A poor young girl who paid the cost.
A daughter you've lost over time.
A good friend of mine.
I don't think you understand what you've done.
A beautiful woman with so much to do,
A beautiful woman you will lose.
And I will be there as I have always been,
To pick up the pieces and help her swim.

He never got to see your eyes light up when you laughed.
He never saw the adoring look when he came home at last.
He’ll never get to know you the way I do.
Because you’re gone
The angels took you too young.

He was never at your games and he never taught you how to ride.
He’ll never get to teach you how to drive.
He never knew what he meant to you
He never got to see all that you could do.
Because you’re gone
The angels took you too young.

I wish he could have seen the man you would have become.
You were so strong and kind.
You had such a bright mind.
But it ended so soon.
And you were gone so fast.
And I could never forgive him for not being here,
When we needed him the most.
I know it’s not his fault.
But it haunts me like a ghost.
Because you’re gone,
The angels took you too young.

What if I told you that I have a death wish?
What if I said I would die for you?
What if I said I want you to be happy?
Even if I have to die for that to come true.

Who are you to haunt my dreams?
Who are you to tell me I am nothing?
Who are you to define me?
Who are you to take the very best of me?

As I walk through this life,
I fight just keep alive.
With you staring me down,
Like my heart beat is too loud.

Who are you to deny me happiness?
Who are you to break me down?
Who are you to decide I’m worthless?
Who are you to toy with my heart?

As I take the steps I need,
To figure out where life will take me.
With you staring me down,
Like you wish for me to drown.

Who are you to price my life?
Who are you to sell my rights?
Who are you to destroy my hope?
Who are you to tear my heart?

All I wanted was to love.
All I asked for to be love.
All I need was love.
All I got was a tragedy.

Who are you to decide?
Who are you to destroy my life?
Who are you?
Who are you?

We used to have a future,
Something to believe in and to fight for.

But yesterday I found you in love with another.
And you tell me I’ve got it all wrong.

And I have to, wonder, if you see me for who I am
Or do you only see what you believe I’ve become?
The monster, in the closet, is getting harder to keep locked up.
And if you think I can survive the downfall, you’re wrong.

‘Cause tonight is the night I fall.
Tonight is the night we lose it all.

Shattered
Screaming and fighting
Out of breath and out of love
Tired of lies and heartache
That left me without cause.

You stand there waiting for me to apologize
But I am afraid you’ll be waiting a long time.
You couldn’t see the damage you were doing to me.

I see the truth of your lies.
I see the things you tried to hide.
You tell me I’ve got it all wrong.

And I have to, wonder, if you see me for who I am
Or do you only see what you believe I’ve become?
The monster, in the closet, is getting harder to keep locked up.
And if you think I can survive the downfall, you’re wrong.

‘Cause tonight is the night I fall.
Tonight is the night we lose it all.

Yes tonight is the night I lock the door.
Tonight you don’t have a wife any more.

When I see what you've left behind I know what love is and I know that you are watching over me.

If I could see your face and hear your laugh I would hold them in my heart forever.

If I could say one thing I'd tell you I love you and I'll see you again.

I'll never understand how a heart so beautiful could be a part of my life. You're the star, you're the hero, your everything I need. Everything I wish I could be.

You meant the world to me. You taught me to love with all my heart. You taught me not to take that love for granted.

I spent so much time trying to please you,
Trying to make you happy.
But nothing I do is working.
I wont do this anymore.
You tell me,
I'm nothing.
No one,
Will love me.
But guess what.
You can't break me.
You can't tear me down.
I am stronger,
Without you now.

I know you were the star of this story,

I was the extra in your scenes.

When the world turned to gray,

I knew it was because you went away.



You were the soccer player, I was your cheer leader,

You made me want to be a better player on life's field.



I hope that I told you, I can't remember if I did.

How much you meant the world to me,

I looked up to you even though you are younger then me.

Your light is a beacon to a quiet, lonely girl.

Your friendship made me stronger, enough to face the world.



You are the laughter in the wind, the sun in the rain.

You are the smile through to tears, the beauty in the pain.



Today I will grieve you, in the future I will see you.

Till that day arrives I'll keep you in my life.

Hold you in my heart and remember you in my dreams.

And pray for those you left to live on with their days.

I know the secrets you keep locked inside.
The tears, the pain, all the lies.
And when I think you’ll let me in.
I realize you’re not alive.

Of all the things I thought were true.
I thought I could be with you.
Now I see the truth,
You’re not alive.

You’ve died so much inside.
You think you have to hide.
And when I think you’ll let me in.
I realize you’re not alive.

You’re died inside.
I’ve tried to find what you hide inside.
Full of lies.
But you’re not alive.