When I watch you
smiling candidly on shiny paper
laughing, surrounded by the remaints
of your friend's cigarette smoke
or
when I watch you
in your old, worn-out-with-love Levi's
with the overused Adia's running shoes
standing, with me for your shoulders
like I was on top of the world
I say
when I watch you
you framed Kodak memory of a father
who used to be the handsome hero of my life
used to be my best friend
I smile
through your faded memory
I smile

My pillow smells like sneaking in,
past midnight, making you tiptoe to my bed.

Your cologne smells like my pillow,
the night when all we did was cuddle and tell stories.

Blue sweatshirts smell like your cologne
that time we drove all the way to Chicago to watch the sunrise.

Late night walks smell like your blue sweatshirt
on the night we walked 7 miles to the bonfire.

Summer smells like late night walks
and I go on those all the time.




*With or without you; You're everywhere I go and you're everything I feel.

don't tell me
that when we make love
it stays in the sheets

don't tell me
that you fell in love with me
between an orange sheet and a green comforter

don't you dare say
that the only place you love me
is on top of a spring mattress

if you believe that
i only love you
with a rubber on your ****
then you found the wrong girl

because i love you
when your knuckles turn white
when you roll your palm over the steering wheel

and i fall for you
every time you get out of your car
to play with my puppy
instead of walking me to the door

i fall in love with you
again
and again
every day
when you look at me with puzzle pieces behind your pupils
because you cant figure out my patterns and quirks

don’t you tell me
that we make love in a bed
when i fall in love with you every second of the day

and don’t you dare tell me
that you have to shove your **** in me to feel something for me
when i can see you melt each time i say my words out of order
and sing the wrong lyrics, with pride

so don't you dare tell me
that when we make love,
we have to be rolling on top of each other
when it’s clear to see that we fall in love
every
single
time
our eyes accidentally meet from across the room

Ya know how sometimes
you can eat a certain food for
your whole life and never
really apreciate it untill you
don't have it for like 8 months?

Then, when you finally do eat it
again, it's like a whole new
thing and you never realized
how good it was in the first
place, even though it had been
staring you in the face for years?

Well, that's how I fell in love
with you- never appreciating
how great you were then all at
once it hit me, like a suprise
summer rainstorm.

whats the point of those chemicals
the ones that make me flirty
and giggly
and easy

what's the point of the regret
that makes me groan the next day
and sleep for hours
and sad

i guess those chemicals make you pretty happy

There was one night that we hung out and goofed off, doing absolutely nothing serious.
    He told me his dream, his number one fantasy was to have *** with a mermaid.
I giggled.
    Hours later, I admitted that I wanted to be Ariel at Disneyland when I grew up.
He said 'that's so cute!
    Our flirting lasted hours. That's the last I've seen of him, but 2 months later I still
    think about that night every day.  And every day, I just think:
*Kiss the girl.

You were there when I stood in front of the mirror
and ****** my stomach in,
wishing I could make it there sooner.

You were there when I didn't eat breakfast, lunch,
and threw up my dinner every night.

You were there when our lunch table overcrowded
and we sat on the floor.

It was your face, the one you didn't mean to make,
that made me want to stop.

Your eyes can't hide a thing, and when you cracked
for just two seconds,

You made me want to retire my razors, and stop
counting calories.

You were there when I stopped gagging and gained
it all, plus more, back.

And you were still there when I stood infront of the mirror
and ****** my stomach in,
trying hard to lie to myself.

And your still here, but now I'm lying to you,
my most loyal friend, while I hide in the
bathroom with ******* down my throat.