Can I see them?**
I sighed, and rolled up my sleeves.
I was puzzled by the boy
and offended.
He ran his fingers across my soul.

God, you're like crack.
He ran his hands down my body.
His eyes and body burned.
Just hurry up, my buzz is dying.

It is bliss,
the suffering.
Lamentations such as this
end up smothering.

The kid,
the Christ,
the *******,
the confused.

The unimaginable gift
inside my head.
The knife I lift
will end you dead.

The blood,
the sorrow,
the ***,
the end.

Breaking my chains
scarring my brain.
I think I may be insane.

Rattle in my throat
scar on my hand.
Writing this note
as if I had a plan.

Watch as all the pretty people go by,
my hope, my dream is just to stay high.

Away from the ignorance of this town,
I am the prince of depravity with a thorny crown.

Breaking my chains
scarring my brain.
I think I may be insane.

I think I may be insane.

You try so hard,
so hard to please.
Nothing comes
to you with ease.

I take my time,
watching the clouds roll by
as they slowly turn to grey.
For the times I was high
never took the thoughts away.

Leave it behind.
Leave it behind.

I cried so much,
I hurt so bad,
thinking about
the time we had.

Wash it away,
all the thoughts were there,
in the flesh under my hair.
Still thinking it would go somewhere.

Leave it behind.
Leave it behind.

I have been living in the warm womb of solitude
For the past few months of my existence

Enjoying all the numbed emotional experiences my fetus-y form can handle
Feeding off my friends and family to steal their wisdom and words

Stealing their past revelations and independence and growth
Growing pounds like a puppy and gaining inches like a tapeworm

Till my previously battered brain begins to crave
The aches and pains of heartbreak once more

Yearning for the cold, unforgiving air of reality on my newborn skin
After nine months of solitude and twelve weeks of young love

Searching wantonly for the sensations I left behind
Such as the warmth of a girl’s fingers between my own

My mind demands something more rigorous to live through
My mind, a scarred warrior, craves a new challenge

Something for it to be beaten and bloodied and crushed by
Something for it to mourn and learn from and conquer

For you see; the wings within my spine are quivering
They’re rippling with excitement at the thoughts in my head

The thought of finally, finally, finally
Getting back out into the world again