Half empty
Half full
Half dirt
Half blood
Clean shoes
No mud.

Dreaming of your demise
Your pitifully starved body.
You begging for your life,
How funny.

You took mine,
I take yours.
Eye for an eye.
Sores for sores.

How sweet it was,
To be at your feet.
How beautiful it was,
Nothing could compete.

How long I've waited,
To be at your mercy.
Oh, to be your sweet pet.
To be in your arms,
Wrapped in warmth,
Like the very first night we met.

Love, sweet love.
Fruitful and kind.
Love has made me,
Lose my mind.
Why would I even want to find,
My lost and lonely
Troubled mind?

Love has made me so blind,
To the trials and troubles,
Of my life.
So I thank you love.
So sweet and kind,
For chasing away,
My troubled mind.

I remember when I would cry
Thinking of my life.
How I wouldn't make it
To sixteen.
How I'd more than likely
Die.

Now I'm almost there
Only five months
To go.
How have I survived?
How has "god" let
The devil roam?

Maybe I'm just as nonexistent
As he.

What if I was tired?
Too tired to try?
What If I lost my mind?
Too crazy to even find?

Would you love me in my cold sweat state?
Could you love me when I saw something that wasn't there,
Something utterly fake?

How will you react when,
I wake up in the middle of the night,
And ask you to check under the bed spread?
The bed spread covering that mirror.

You will get sick of it.
You will call me a child.
You'll call it *******.

You will get tired.
Too tired to try
Because I've lost my mind,
And I'm too crazy,
To even try to find.

I miss talking to him
I miss asking him how his day was.
I miss him
I miss David.

I wish I would have kept my mouth shut
About the childhood secrets but,
You had to know,
To understand,
That this was not all because,
Of one pig of a man.

I was beaten before.
I was much more broken
All the heart strings
Torn.
My life was,
Nearing its end.

I know I hurt you,
So badly too.
And I wish I could
Fix me.
So I could fix you.
And we can be together,
Just us two.

I miss my David.
David, I miss you

Everyday.
I sit with you
In a never ending sea
Of algebra two.

How I wish we were as simple
As solving these problems.
One question at a time.
With an answer,
Or many answers,
Or no answer at all.

Now that I think about it,
This isn't that simple.
This doesn't always have an answer.
Are we pi?
A never ending, irrational number?

Well, I am definitely irrational,
Being with you.
But maybe you,
Maybe us,
Is the only real
Thing I would really find happiness in.
I know you feel that way too.

I'll be pi with you,
Pi is real.
Pi is something.
Pi exists.

They say you hurt
The ones you love
The most.
I wonder how true
That must be.

I can't even bear to think
Of hurting you.
Yet you give out hurt
Like its a hobby.

With all the pain
You've put me through
You must love me
More than I could ever
Love you.