I'm afraid. 
Simple as that.
Just irrational fear.
Complex in the cracks.

The dark envelops me.
Blinding me and quickening my heart.
Even though a game, I start to scream.
Trying to rip this closet door apart.
The tears dampening my face.
My breathing changing pace.
My mind plays games just like the others.
I cant even steady my hands.

Then light. 
Sweet, forgiving, white knight in the form of a filament.
I wipe my face, realizing the blood that covered my fingers.
Where was this savior that had been sent?
His smell lingers.

He stood tall. 
Dark.
Faceless.
His hand brushes my face,
My neck,
*****, 
I look up to see a familiar, yet unnamed, face. 
His pernicious smirk haunts me.
Swift air brushes past my face followed by sharp sting.
He leans into me, his lips touching my ear,
His tone is sarcastic and grave.
"Welcome back, slave"

I have just met you, and have already judged myself for you.
Should I be thinner for you? 
I have just met you, and have already become addicted.
Should I give up on you?

I dont feel adequate.
I dont feel worthy.

To tell the truth, I want to be more.
I want to be more than just a common harlot
I want to be important to you. 

I want to have *** with my Lover.
Not my **** buddy. 
I need rough coitus,
And heartwarming cuddles.

I need all that you are.

Foggy windows, 
Breath dense with smoke.
Steamy eyes,
And wanting throats.

Give me your all, show me how you lust.
Bringing me to the edge and watching me bust.
Wet ******* and smirks, for the rest of the night.
Being red in the face for,
What seems, 
Is the rest of my life. 

You take me away and succumb me,
With just the essence of you.
Your whispered word and guided hand,
I still can't believe its true

Even now as I lay lone. 
I squirm at the thought of you.
Your kisses, your words, and every ******* thing you do.
I can barely contain the hunger I have,
As it shows in my eyes.
I'm just a starving lust-stricken animal,
Without it I'm not alive.

I'm a broken
Shattered,
Sharp piece of mirror.
I'm a worthless,
Pointless,
Shell filled with horror.

Without you I'm lost,
Can't find my place.
I have no reason
You cant be replaced.

You are what makes my day bright,
But fill my dreams with fright.
Your eyes order me, and my life
not to mention the breaths you make
The risks you take
The insecurities you break.
You are what has made me, me.

How do you expect me to know what to do,
Without You?

Being yours.
It's being held safely,
While being beaten sternly. 

Being taken apart,
But held together.
Getting to the edge,
But never jumping.

Your looks from across the room,
reminding me of your dominance.
Your gentle touches to my face,
Telling me how much you cherish me.

All of this and more.
The prize and punishment,
The pleasure and pain,
Of being Yours.

All I seem to be able to do
Is sit around and cry about You
I'm not sure why
When You've yet to leave me permanently 
But the voice in my head still screams indefinitely 

I wonder why I am crying, then...
What has left me so empty and unsatisfied?
I assumed a time or two
That it's because I can't think of a time I cherished more, 
Than the time I've spent with You, 

My stomach whirls with early memories of "us" 
Quickly followed by a chronic sickness of You momentarily forgetting me.
I can't stable myself, when Youve left me so lifeless.
When Yours was all I ever wanted and want to be.