Stranger Pallbearer
Don't let that coffin slip
through your sweaty palms
Faithless preacher
read your psalms and
don't mispronounce his name
No one may have knew him
but he was still somebody
This sad little man
in his unmarked grave

You said you would never hurt me
Promises I took to heart
and I framed us that day.
While you were cheating on me
I was making us dinner
Your favorite.
It was tasty,
even if I ate it alone.
You accidentally left your phone at home.
We were supposed to be forever,
Unfortunately Stacy doesn't think so
By the way she texted "I love you"
I didn't want to pry but
it was tempting.
I found out while I was having a meal for one
You were having it for two.
You came home
pretending you weren't
a *****.
Good news;
I finally found a use
for our wedding knife.
I didn't want you to die
but it was tempting.
I couldn't stand the site
of lipstick on your collar.
I framed the other woman that night.
And The stain on your shirt grows
until your clothes are red.
To think you can be handsome
even though you're dead.
A laugh blisters up my throat
as I text you *"I love you."

That seashell
you gave me
that looked like a turtle
I threw away
That Marine hoodie
that was "too small for you"
My best friend hid it away.
The entire two letters
you wrote me
live at the bottom of my "junk" drawer.
I deleted you off my facebook
hoping it might help.
I don't bring you up
and walk away from others
if your name is in the conversation.
I fall off the wagon
sometimes
and look at your photo.
But have improved
I rarely notice if your name
is in any of my novels.
I laugh out loud
that your name is Frank.
Blunt,
Straightforward,
Honest.
If only you could live up to your name.
I cried oceans when you went away.
Appropriate considering you're now an ocean away.
I didn't leave my apartment for days.
I've been sleeping on my couch
my bed is stained.
It was a crush
It never should have been more.
But after four years
I only loved you more.
Once in awhile now
this depression sinks in.
And I can hide your things, throw them away,
I can delete you off my page, I can avoid your name.
But these memories will always stay.

Your movements
leave me fumbling
for words
Your hugs soothe
and make all seem right
in this world
Your strength
and masculinity
are the epitome of my dreams
Your rough caress
steals my breath
Your whispered suggestions
leave me stammering
My tongue knots itself
whenever you speak to me
Your very presence
awakens senses
I never knew I had
When you hold my hand
I am ridiculously nervous
And I try to wipe off my silly smile
The sparks we create when we just stare
could burn the world
And You grab a fistful of my hair
Pull me close
The slightest touch
leaves my soul pleading
wishing for more
Your lips on my cheek
shoot to my core
Your kiss down my throat
Your teeth
nipping my collarbone
has me sighing
and gasping for air
This lust is
Suffocating
This tension
Maddening
Slowly
You are breaking away
the barrier I've put up
All my control is falling apart

What we had
a flash in the pan
and it can't be solved
over pancakes.

The heart on my sleeve
has begun to chafe
and i finally picked up
my emotional luggage
at the baggage claim.

You were my speck in time
and I just a stage
So please don't hold on
I may pull a Fahrenheit 451
and burn our page

It's been such a short while
and you are smitten like a child
but I have long been grown
and can't afford a stray inside this home.

I won't always be a dime
or a good lookin' bird
soon I'll been a penny (for these thoughts)
and I may go from pretty to an ogre

So can you blame for our end
when
I don't like wasting time
however short and possibly sublime

Understand
I need a man
and am no longer such a school girl

And regardless, how cute
and kind
you may be
You lack an intensity
I've found I need

We were (are) not meant to be

Your world lives in an
anything is possible way
But there is no
"yes we can"
for us today

Goodbye
I'm so sorry
Goodbye
I hope I haven't altered your hopeful realities
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye

I. am. so. pathetic.

I'll look for days we work together
and look forward to it
only to end up
regretting
the fact that we did.

The days I know I'll see you
I'll try to be more pretty
A better version of me.

Only to have you not notice.

How is it possible that...

with one word,
you can ruin my day
week
month
life

with an action,
break my heart?

with a look,
make all cheer disappear?

And at the same time,
How is it possible that...

with a crooked smile,
you make my soul skip?

with a touch,
make my insides flip?

with an invasion in my thoughts,
make me blush?

with the sensation of your voice,
pep me up?

You hurt me
so much
un-intentional or not
you hurt me so much

yet I still
want you so bad

How can it be...

that in all misery,
I long to see
your face?

And at the same time...

want to
punch you
in that very face?

You made me feel special

at one point.

Made me feel wanted
even if
it was only
physically
sexually
you still
made me feel wanted.

And it felt so great
so good
to feel beautiful
but now...
it's horrible
feeling so horrid.

How you can...
toss my emotions
with such finesse
such ease
stuns me.

How I can...
dream, wish, hope
for you to
flirt
touch
tease
me

like you have before
and to do so once more
stupefies me.

You were
You are
my motivation
to impress
and look my
very best.

even if I fail.

Please!
I'm begging
you
at least pretend
you once again
like me
as more than a friend.

I don't care
if you play mind games
mess with my head
as long as
part of that time
I'll be in your arms again.

I hate
this desperation
hormonal infatuation
temptation and frustration
in having this almost-obsession for you.

My mind has changed
Now just go away
I may miss you
but still just
leave.

Because
the pain
of seeing you
all the time
knowing
you'll never be mine
is much worse
than "mixed feelings."

I can longer breathe.

Lift me up
out of love

During the fall
I broke too many bones.

But then again,

you're. as. pathetic. as. me.

because you can't see
how much more happy
you would be
if you let her go
move on.

She was never there.
She was always gone.

This V- romance
is too much
chance.

Let's break off

and

never

ever

get pieced together again.