It must be nice to be able to lay next to someone that continuesto prove that they love you with every fiber of their being.  But you only notice the one that has done nothing but hurt you that's laying on the other side of you.  You choose pain and misery over happiness and joy.  It must be nice to be so painfully ignorant.  My only wish is that you would at least make it seem like you care instead of being cold to love

Life what is the point to it all we do is ruin everything we touch today we ruin someone else tomorrow the world drowns in hellfire but today I lay my soul to rest I allow it to completely leave my body the knife in my hand is my release but my mind is telling me to put it down but my heart is saying put it down but make sure it's through a major blood vessel that way I no longer ruin and or destroy the ones I love and care about unrequited love is the equivalent of  death so I might as well make it so

They say that darkness cloaks and choke everything including light then why do when I find darkness my light I'd never eclipsed instead it brightens trying to purge the darkness only to make a little progress only to get swallowed up in the darkness never to be seen from again I used to hide a dagger of light in my cloak now it's in my back for remember darkness swallows everything including light my light is located in the heart of darkness

the pain i'm in is unreal its severe when i have no idea why i miss you but i hate you more than this plane of existence the way you hurt me is unforgivable at least give me a ******* choice on what happens to my blood.  the pain hits randomly and cripples me whenever i hear our song i cant move when i see something of yours i want to die but i cant end this pain because i would have to end myself

you're beautiful so I tell you and even after everything I've been through you still choose me to make you smile but you don't see that when we fight I wilt and die and you'll never notice because I can stay a happy person with this mask of flowers

It's been ten months and I still miss you like I did the first day we spilt it's been ten months why do you still depsise me?  I didn't mean to ***** up I tried my hardest to manage how you wanted me to be but still and then him how do you live with doing that to someone

Your heart was Ice while mine was fire
We worked like water and oil
We didn't mix well
My situation was dire
But you were strained like a coil
I ******* up and you said go to hell




My heart is black to match my soul
They say love mends along with time
How much time will it take to mend so that I may love and feel it

I feel weighed down with the possibility that I could have you on my arm but then I realize it's a dream and dreams aren't possible they're wasted on me too I can never let you be happy it seems I'm always so stupid that I push myself into life then I realize it's not impossible just improbable and that means we are impossible and I am a wild dream

I miss your touch I miss your smile I'm jealous that he gets them if we want in that place i'd happily take his place and turn you happy because I know I ******* up when we were us but I'm sorry I truly am sorry I shouldn't have let her get between us because she stole our happiness and in its place put misery and a sense of longing that is the longing to be held close to you again and to see your smile it brightened my day so much but now it darkens my day to think about him getting that smile that I long for so much and the ability to touch you and hold you I don't know if you'd call it love or lust I would call it perfect if I got his position

Life is not this glamorous place it's hell just painted pretty so that we think it's heaven.
I'm going to say death is a luxury of life it's the best part it means no more hell no more heartbreak and no more struggles it's sweet release I mean come on we go through **** daily and still deal with it the next day when you die you don't deal with anything anymore you're gone that's why it's a luxury you don't miss anyone you don't love anyone anymore and you don't have to worry about being wrong your gone and in endless bliss

I love you dear but I love her too my heart says both of you my brain sides with my heart honestly I have no idea do I pick the one I'm with and have loved longer or the newer flare that threw my life in a tailspin and then note regulates my life she keeps me happy and you make me happy everytime you speak to me i have no idea what to do gah my heart is confusing me

Yesterday would have made a year had you loved me
But we got six months before he stepped in
Those six months where heaven
The following six were hell
Yes I still love you but you never will love me
It's nice to see you smiling again that doesn't happen much
It's nice to see him happy even when I'm sad
I don't hate you guys I hate myself for being in between you guys in the first place
I'm sure heaven will be found somewhere else for me but until I find my patch of heaven I'm in hell because of the love that never was

I've always lied to the people i need to be honest with.
I've always tried when I shouldn't.
Life has always crippled me because I let it.
Now that's I've cried and and my pride has died.
I'm going to be me I'll admit I've ******* up I've made my mistakes.
I've dig my grave and I've layer in it.
I've dig my self out after I told people to bury me.
I've never given up because of my pride.
Now I've given up and i feel better than ever because my bravado is gone my lack luster shine is back I've realized my mistakes and i take them back but I have to amend for them i won't be at my best I never was not I've hit the bottom and I stood back up that's what counts I'm proud of myself again for a good reason and not because my pride is foolish I've got to go my mistakes don't fix themselves goodbye old life hero new me

It's life you live you learn,
You hurt you burn,
You cut you bleed,
You're not dead until you soul and heart have agreed

I may not have been fine before I met her but that is because of my past I fell instantly and let her know but back then she didn't care she saw me as weird and creepy I still continued to soak to her though and slowly she warmed up and I grew on her then I moved on my feelings and we were off and on a couple of times then she made me one of the happiest people I know we dated for six months and we never fought I thought it'd be like this forever then mistakes happened my best friend moved in on her and she liked him I found out through a friend of mine that I don't see very often anymore what was happening between them it ripped my heart out because I still was in love with her I lost my happiness and my heart and my best friend in the world I know I'm far from perfect but that is what she was to me she was my perfection

i know you still miss me and u know id take u back in a heartbeat but you're not allowing my heart to beat when you act like you do and give me signals that say "i love you" "i hate you" "get away from me" "come save me" "get away from me" and all i can do is ask myself "does this have a purpose I'm still going to always be here for you I'm not going to let u cry but i cant stand to cry for you when you don't love me anymore my heart beats for u whenever you're happy but my brain is killing me my heart is confusing but i'm beginning to realize i shouldn't listen to either"

Dear love of my life

Tears fall and sleep takes me eventually but I wish the tears never were here I wish I could hide behind our puppy love it took forever for me to find you and six months later I lost you I can't say I'm sorry and mean it because it'd be a lie I'm not sorry I met you I'm not sorry I loved you I'm sorry I still love you and I'm sorry I honestly am that I ever hurt you I never meant to I meant to keep you and be happy I thought I'd found my soul and instead I found a shard of it I'm sorry it ended like it did I'm sorry I scare you and I'm sorry puppy love is puppy love I wish I'd never met you but I'll eventually get over that feeling I'm sorry I messed up I'm sorry I'm forgetful I'm sorry I'm demanding and I'm so so so so so so so so so sorry that I'm sorry is all I can say but this is what I mean when I constantly repeat I'm sorry

Sincerely yours
Your now current ex puppy lover

I look out at my life and ask myself does every little thing have a purpose does it all have a greater meaning will my mistakes haunt me and will my success follow me if not then why do it here presently i am sitting down will i ever sit down in my life beyond our will i never be able to sit when i am tired and standing around will i always be standing around or will i not have legs

Does anyone know that feeling when your head is about to burst and so is your heart and feel like it doesn't matter if you just die slowly and painfully under the radar and just feel if only if only!!!!