I’d say I’m cynical.
Bitter.
Expecting a difference.
Anticipating changes that aren’t within us.
Sensing destruction,
A rapid digression.
Shifting between choice and depression.
Hollowed deception.
Habitual lessons.
But I remembered to stop.
Allowing the mind to breathe.
Attempting to be.
No longer accepting an energy that’s empty.
Refusing to exist in a forgotten memory.

There are moments,

Brief instances in time;

Where I convince myself that the feelings will subside.

Fixated on the past,

Perpetuated by fantasy.

Tricks of the mind,

To assassinate the ecstasy.

Any bliss of romance,

Masked as sins of my ignorance.

Live in it.

Fester and brood.

Allowing time to pass,

Expecting duration to change the mood;

Enter you.

Notice how the air has only thickened.

Imprinted on my heart,

The loss has left me sickened.

Distraught,

Futilely taming my thoughts.

Longing to be connected,

But through trial it’s been tested,

I took too long to learn lesson.

The risk of progression.

Double standards,

Syntax will answer.

Trifling the line between innocence and trouble.

The consequences render my psyche to rubble,

Debris piling up,

Skin tattered and tough,

Immensely rough.

Scars leave memories of when it was all too much.

Burned by your touch,

Branded,

With slanted vengeance,

Consistency begins with us.

Ends in dust,

Dismantling trust,

Allowing the hollowed frame to whither and rust.

The cyclic meaning of meaning,

Bending rhyme to reason,

A change for all the seasons,

Now we’re meeting with forced greetings.

Definitions make new traditions,

Twisting and contorting to situation.

Adapting while reacting,

Showcasing deformed acting.

We sit in the back laughing,

Understanding the change that’s happening,

The inevitability of our apathy,

Prolonged by a resistance to sever a fading destiny.

Forever is terminology,

Syntax,

Created in reverie,

A place we can’t go back.

Standards bring order,

Where chaos is prevalent.

Double the standard,

Order is irrelevant.

Contradiction,

Insecurity flourished with tortured intention.

Hypocrisy,
The equivalent of social ******.
Based in double standards,
Tainted by dishonesty.
Victims to this plague,
The devils advocate leads the way,
With nothing but tired contradictions to convey.
We dissuade,
Allowing our facades to fade.
Revealing our true colors,
Painted in spectrums of hate.
Masking the demons,
Hoping no one can see.
Blindly choosing defeat,
Disregarding what makes us free.
Our ubiquitous connection,
Gone without detection.
A crisis that deserves undivided attention.
The equivalent of social ******,
Hypocrisy.

Undermine the insatiable design,

Refine.

Criminally calculated,

But the fragments are jaded,

Slighted.

Pictured in the wrong light,

Repress.

Trusting deception to answer the question,

If we are what we repeatedly do,

Who’s to say there’s a misperception of the love I bear for you.

I’m not sure I’ll ever understand,

What caused our cyclic poison to disband.

Perhaps the fates decided it was time to step in,

Or rather the fighting of our hearts was too often a sin.

Whichever it may be,

I can only wish that you allow yourself to see.

For the ignorant can only do harm,

In search for blame.

While the wise can recover,

Dusting off the guilt and the shame.

Proving that in order to want,

You have to be willing to change.

Deepen trust,
Excellence begins.
The tempered genesis of the warrior within.
Fervent reckoning of judgemental sin.
Endlessly imaginative,
Conscious without additive,
Process enlightens the child within.
Patience with dis-tempered grace,
Wisdom expanding through space.
Scarred and burned of previous dismay,
Humbled by generations play.
Laughter soothes the master within.
Tormented,
Defeated,
Synonyms endless for the ones who’ve retreated.
Death be chosen,
We are born again.
Thinking of stories only a child can tell,
Open to trusting our journey back from hell.
Having the will to laugh at ourselves.

Now they want to come back,

Counter attack.

Reverberation of statements the mind wishes to retract.

A constant stream of this vivid waking dream,

Imagining a world painted with images,

Not scenes.

Screams.

They’re challenging again,

The force of which bonds the paper with the pen.

Again,

Hear their violent cries from below.

Cruelty,

Shame,

Each branded by the chain.

Ravenously searching for a new soul to tame.

Double edged,
Intangible etched.
Conflicted by time,
In this paradoxical complex.
Reset.
Back to basics.
Where the conversation is easy,
And we share this existence.
Distance.
Binding and confining,
Tirelessly defining,
Contradictions are the affliction,
But this mess is my addiction.
Compulsion to the pain,
Convincing myself there’s a gain,
Hoping connection remains more than a game.
Blame.

Coil.
I trace your spine.
The sensual nature of your hips,
Caressing my soul,
Passing through your lips.
Their sweet and lustful seduction,
Trickling through my veins.
Drawing the claws,
Pleasure becoming pain.
Releasing the notion to bear guilt or shame.
I’ve come home in your touch.
Your scent,
Your embrace.
Relinquishing sin,
My teeth piercing deep.
Branding my scar.
Giving in to peace.

A mist lingers,

Haunting and cruel.

Carrying with it the fountain of youth.

Filled with lies,

Advertised with truth.

Clouding our senses,

Tempting defenses,

All in attempt to keep us defenseless.

Blind to lust,

Overt trust,

Miscommunication becoming our crutch.

Victims to the stereotypical dream,

Swindled by the constant need to be.

Bound by such inconstancy,

Which leads to our fleeting authenticity.

Sharing connection,

But never attention.

Festering wounds destroying retention.

Yet somehow,

I still see forever.

A mist lingers,

But then again,

It never quite left.

The ability to laugh is a privileged gift.
Amazing,
How someone can instantaneously find the humor in life,
Allowing their spirits to lift.
No matter the situation.
On any occasion.
Choosing to remain positive,
Despite the negative connotation.
Sweet sounds from a centered being.
Please forever lay next to me.

I accept and digest,

The changes being fed.

A necessary medication,

Essential to the operation.

Sequential,

But not complete.

Heard skipping on repeat.

Temptation lingers slowly,

Beneath the darkness,

The mask.

Sheathing,

Veiling,

Protecting fragile skin.

Because the pain that truly ruptures us,

Ignites from within.

In sin,

In harmony,

In truth.

Cast upon the world at large,

Stand alone.

It’s you.

The sweet breath of a forgotten kiss.
Tingling,
Stinging,
Nostalgia turns to bliss.
Littered by semantics and tired tricks.
Tender blessings from murderous lips.
Temptation lead by malice,
Hoping to tease with pensive solace.
Chances bred in threes,
Preying the last will set thee free.

I’ve come to the realization.
A grand opening to our situation.
Understanding of fantasized eternalization.
I design with expectation,
So I can escape being present to invitation.
Lost inside a fanciful destiny,
Driven by the constancy to let go and be free.
A mantra to breathe,
Sink with the sea.
Fearing the difference that change can release,
Bound by this leash,
Carving my flesh into a soul that’s diseased.
But the infection bleeds the cure,
Placing my journey at the helm of two doors.
Forcing the hands of the dark and the light.
Cowardice refrained by the mask in plain sight.

We speak in subtext,
Our cultural reflex.
Hesitancy with bracing context.
Consistency in anything less.
Change be the fuel to ignite this mess.
Unfortunately fear halts all energy.
Inspires complacency.
Mental adjacency.
Readily dissolving all faith in me.
Washed and recycled, We’re happily exiled.
Meticulously choosing to revel in denial.
Listening to ourselves,
The gate keepers of hell.
Selfishly selfless,
Utterly helpless.
Lying to the heart,
The stoic open cell.

Never in my inspiration,
Deflecting all imagination.
Breathing through an agitation,
With every mundane conversation.
Predicting expectation,
Leaving nothing but hesitation.
The fear is overwhelming,
But so is every situation.
A choice.
Risking ourselves for no one else,
Selfless in thought,
Letting selfishness rejoice.  
Rhyme or reason,
Virtues painted in patient seasons.
In treason.
Trying to find the rhyme in reason,
Rather than being investigative,
And bandaging the lesion;
We let it flow.
Don’t let it go,
If you do,
You might know more than you know.
And we’d rather become blind,
Live in a detrimental time.
Seeing the future as our past,
And letting progress happen last.
Political,
Self-critical,
The devil is too literal.
Advocate for less,
Become muted for something more.
Because the goals inside,
The dreams we hide,
Are the demons we choose to store.
The choice,
The existence,
Is everything within us.
Its hope and aspirations,
Admiration and indication.
A vision towards change inside,
Allowing the child to play outside.