I hung up the phone
I sat down and cried
My baby was gone
And I didn't get to say goodbye

I know its not forever
Some day in the future
We'll be together
Where we will once again
Kiss and hug each other
And say
Now that wasn't so hard
With love we made it easy

And with that month not passed together
Forever will come too soon
For I would stay with you
Until after ever
Had gone and come again

You Are Fire, and you are the spark to my life, my drive, my desire.
I know I broke things off with you with the possibility of rekindling things in the future,
Only after I'd gone off on my trip this winter and did some serious soul searching,
But now that we've been talking again for a scant few days,
I feel everything coming alight and those old embers threaten to catch fire.

The old layers of baggage and ash finally were allowed the chance
To blow away with the winds of change and the gusts of time,
Letting those old wounds and scars heal, the pain to dull and subside.
But this renewed communication with you comes dangerously soon,
And I fear for you and I about my self control when it comes to how I feel for you.

I still have the impending six weeks abroad coming up this winter,
And the contrasting schedules and the wild lifestyle that's expected over there
Is one of the major reasons I decided that it was for the best to put us to rest,
But these renewed urges so soon will be a test to see if I make it
Until I leave on my trip without rekindling old passions.
The last thing I want to do is compromise on my morals,
Leaving you here with promises
While I head beyond the horizon to unknown experiences.

At this age I don't trust myself that far.

We both need time off and away to grow and develop mentally.
I just hope that you're still here when I get back so I can let you know,
I love you.

Can I believe what you say?
Do I dare trust your words again?
The nearly healed wound,
wrenched open again by one so near.
The mind spins,
The stomach turns,
And though I believe the best thing to do is run,
My heart tells me to return.

Why can't I break away?
Do I try and tempt the pain?
I was nearly a whole person,
and you broke me up.
The pieces fall,
And escape beckons, And though I believe the best thing to do is run,
My hear tells me to return

Are you truly that powerful, or is my heart that stupid?

The world outside -
A bright summer's day,
But what hides behind those words
Is dark gray reality.

I watch and learn with every word,
And I see what it means
To truly be and to live.
I begin to want to live to be -
If nothing else - I want to be
Good enough for you.

You make me want to be better
That's what is said,
That's all there is to be said.

Despite my words and wantonness,
And despite what I might not have,
I can be all that you need,
And with your guidance and your help,
I can make the most of you,
And in return, you can make something more of me.

I see you and the inner opportunity,
I see you and I see the best of me,
I see your eyes and I see your heart,
I see everything in and of you,
And it makes me want to be more.

The birds and the bees
Are all fine and dandy to me
But when I'm dying over you
Why can't you just see
When I say I love you
It means everything to me

I try, and try, and try, to unlock what's in my mind,
But no matter the words and combinations,
Nothing concrete takes form upon the paper.

I seem to have these unreal expectations that,
Like a great sculptor or painter, I
Will be able to flawlessly recreate every curve and
Every line of your face and body.

Worse, in my attempt I hope
To encompass what resides behind those gorgeous brown eyes,
Willing my words to replicate what makes you that one
I find so compellingly complex and special,
So different from the rest,
Who - in the simple act of being - makes me throw caution to the wind.

To think about you in this vein
Creates in me a block, a fuzz, a haze,
And my words cannot escape my brain to the page.

I sit here and think how I find everything about you as
Amazing, brilliant, wonderful - Vague -
But when I try to pinpoint words and exactly why,
I am lost beyond all and less than none, so
I will simply choose one -
You.

I would ask you out to a movie or so
But the rules of respect mean I cannot.
I see your face and I am caught out,
Dry mouth and a lack of words,
Fewer thoughts in return.

I hear your voice and I stop,
Held in spot, lingering in your waves.
All I want is to turn and gaze -
To look you up and down,
To look and return to gaze on your face.

As its always been,
Those amber eyes hold me fixed
As those fields of silk
Meet with waves of red,
That kiss of milk
Overlaid by the lash of ink
- the way I wish I could grace
the surface of your body
and learn you the way I know mine,
To feel you the way you're on my mind.

Then to ponder the inside;
To learn you, to study you,
All of the wants and wishes hidden behind -
Behind those gorgeous liquid eyes.
Iris flare, a sparkle there,
And all of the encoded meaning
Of that smile so genuine:
Sometimes so coy,
At other so wry.

Your words and voice
- to taste those lips would be my delight,
oh so sweet, the forbidden fruit -
Slithering so smooth,
Deep inside to the hidden recesses,
Feeling that whisper soft skin
Unlocking every trigger of my mind,
Kissing me back,
Hinting at the secrets that
Leave me dumb and blind,
Leaving me immune to any and all
- except you, except you.
Secrets that I could only imagine,
Though that's only where it begins
As I fall to you, again and again.

After that last fall,
I never thought to feel this way again,
Wishing to get lost like my hands,
Now tangled in you hair
Having caressed up your back,
Tracing every inch of you without a care,
And those soft waves of flame
An echo of what smoulders inside -
I can see it, behind those eyes,
As your scent permeates my nose, captivating sight,
Pulling my eye to yours,
Calling without a doubt
To find your eye in the crowd,
Afraid of what mine will give away.

You're the last girl I expected to lay me out,
But you've dropped me, laid me low.
From here on my back,
The mind pleasantly going slow
- recollection doing double-time,
retracing every detail.

This is the best possible thing
That could have ever happened for you.
I know that it is
And I've managed to convince myself too.
To get away from me
To live a stress-free life
Is a God send, a gift
The lead in the parade.
On the sides I will sit
And clap for you on your way.
This is it
Your moment, your ticket.
Life is a bronco
Don't let it be you that takes the kick.
I know you're strong
You'll need it for the journey long.
This next adventure
To make you into what you are.
But when you come back some day
Please don't have forgotten me along the way.

Here I sit
And think of you and me
In a relationship
And of whether or not
It would work
And then all of my love pours
Into my head
And I realize its not even a question
So here I sit
With my glass of wine in hand
And write
Until the day you are ready to be with me