Bland statements such as you are amazing
Don't ever qualify how much of a blessing
I find you to be upon me.

Simply being you makes me do everything I can
To better myself in an effort that maybe
I might one day deserve you and everything you do.

All we did was begin to talk again after a break in communication,
And I already find myself more engaged in school
And giving a more dedicated and focused effort on my papers and homework.

It's not even down to trying to build myself into someone who deserves you
But the possibility by doing everything within my capabilities
To become that someone you deserve in return -
That someone who will love you unreserved
And protect you from everything in this world.

You Are Fire, and you are the spark to my life, my drive, my desire.
I know I broke things off with you with the possibility of rekindling things in the future,
Only after I'd gone off on my trip this winter and did some serious soul searching,
But now that we've been talking again for a scant few days,
I feel everything coming alight and those old embers threaten to catch fire.

The old layers of baggage and ash finally were allowed the chance
To blow away with the winds of change and the gusts of time,
Letting those old wounds and scars heal, the pain to dull and subside.
But this renewed communication with you comes dangerously soon,
And I fear for you and I about my self control when it comes to how I feel for you.

I still have the impending six weeks abroad coming up this winter,
And the contrasting schedules and the wild lifestyle that's expected over there
Is one of the major reasons I decided that it was for the best to put us to rest,
But these renewed urges so soon will be a test to see if I make it
Until I leave on my trip without rekindling old passions.
The last thing I want to do is compromise on my morals,
Leaving you here with promises
While I head beyond the horizon to unknown experiences.

At this age I don't trust myself that far.

We both need time off and away to grow and develop mentally.
I just hope that you're still here when I get back so I can let you know,
I love you.

All you ever did was take, take, take,
And I can't take it anymore.

Whether during our time when we were only friends
Or when we were dating,
All it ever was, ever, was taking from me:
My time, my energy, my hobbies, friends and family, even my poetry.

Slowly, little bit by little increment,
You took everything from me,
And now, so soon after I rediscover my passion for dance,
Make it into the last bastion of my resistance,
You go and steal that away too.

You were too young and we were both too immature,
I should have known.

I gave you everything I had in faith,
Hoping to help you make life right,
But instead, those greedy, little emotional fingers you never knew you had
Went and took everything in sight,

Leaving me lost with nothing which to call mine.

It will be nice once I find some time,
To really sit down and write,
As the summer begins to unwind
And I start to get free time on my weekends,

I can't wait just to throw on my headphones
And to space out and write.
I need this in the end all be all
To be alright.

It will be excellent to get away,
To block out everyone and everything
But those words and emotions
That are locked in my mind -

To commune that with music,
And within that harmony,
I can speak my soul out onto the page.

I awake to a new day having survived yet another long, lonely night.
I look out my window and see the fall sunlight already falling down,
Covering everything in a false warmth before the heat of the day arrives.
The ground is still wet from a little rain the night before,
Telling that it's only so long before winter makes it's way to the coast,
But for now, the remnants of summer linger behind reminding
Us of the good times we had laying in the sun with our toes in the sand.

So I awake to another day knowing that the sun still wants to shine bright,
And that the sun still wants to shine down upon me,
That I might rise to the day with the sun and seize
The best possible out there for me.

I still find so much torment bred within
The attempt to reconcile myself with something
With which I have never been fine.

You and I were no longer together,
And though I saw it coming
I told myself different,
Which did nothing to prevent the eventuality, the fruition,
The end result came about all the same.

You fell in love with my best friend,
It was inevitable.
He said the two of you knew that it was wrong,
But he wanted to tell me, and to ask all the same,
And to his shock, disbelief, and relief, I said it was fine.

Yes, I know it was a lie,
But if I had said no it would have happened regardless -
If there's one thing in life I know
It's how things like these go, the feelings take over -
So I said no, it's fine,
So that maybe you two might find the happiness that eluded you and I,
And I'll go my way and hope to find mine,
Without you two having to worry and hide,
And to deny those feelings I saw
Before either of you two knew what it was.

And now I still find myself trying to make it ok in my mind,
When all I find is pain when you come to mind.
One day, one day I will be ok,
But until then this is something I will bury and hide,
Until the day I find that things are alright,
And I can be happy for the love you two did find.

I made a promise to you and I broke it.
Sitting here in the halls where I first saw you
Drives it home, God, how I know it.

Reflecting back on some of those moments,
Still so raw, they still make me flinch,
Time and again bringing blood to the surface
Despite how many times I've gone back to revisit.

It's so bitter and it's so sweet,
This intensity of emotion encapsulated in those days.

Passions so fresh in a world so new,
Forging paths in lands all but unknown,
Feeling more alive than either of us could have guessed at.

Now I live with more regret than I ever thought I could ever know,
Stealing breaths of life,
Revisiting those moments I felt most alive.