Torn this way and that
Not knowing which way to go,
Having no way back
To that connection so strong,
For courage to fail in those crucial seconds.

How to live in that fine balance of scales,
Never too far one way and not the other.
Sticking to the center to avoid any mishap.
How can I live like that?
None of which is me?
How could I have gone so far astray?

I need to rediscover my identity
To enable me to break free to the surface,
And draw in the fresh air of life -
To find out who and where I'm supposed to be.
This stagnation has to go
For me the rediscover myself complete.

I'm taking time out
To sit and simply lie down,
Back on the ground watching clouds
Whisper by,
Heads held high
Thinking and wondering aloud -
If you miss me at all?

Do you remember?
               Do you even remember me?
How can it be
               That thinking of you can hurt?
I've barely met you,
               I all but don't know you.
Why does my mind taunt me?
               Why do you haunt my thoughts and dreams?

My beloved stranger of a girl,
               Do you miss me at all?
The way I obviously have a need,
               Have developed an addiction for
                              Everything I saw in you?
Its become a pain inside,
               An ache I can barely hide.

You drive me to distraction,
               The catalyst to this chain reaction,
Not daring to think what might happen
               If I gave into this volatile passion.

Where do you go
                              When you're not on my mind?
And where do you go
                                     When I can't bear the though of being alone?
Where do you go
                              When the lights are gone?
And what have you done
                                           That I'm coming undone?

I'm up late,
                    once again,
With you,
                  the new girl,
Once more upon my mind.
I feel I'm lost,
                       I'm gone,
I can't seem to focus as
                                       I find myself gone to
              Those few fleeting moments with you.

Nothing is ever
                                   Perfect.
I know that for fact,
               And it doesn't ever really have to be,
Because,
          Its those Imperfections
that make it
                                       Genuine,
Every time
                    in my mind.
And that's all that I really need.

We do have our differences,
                                                We do,
And I do not deny that,
But even you said,
                                "We're all but the same person",
Its got to be some sort of building block,
                              Can we start from that?
Its the one thing I long to ask.

I do believe you've captured my attention,
Though whether or not that was you intention you've yet to decide.
Hearing you name on my lips,
Sounding your voice in my ears
Again and again, replaying those moments,
Clinging to those seconds we lived in,
Afraid to let them pass,
Fearing that those will be the last
I ever get to share with you.

I'm lost, my eyes grow haunted,
Focus crushed, hunger slows - abated,
As I hunger for your touch, be it:
Your voice on my skin,
Your body unto my eyes,
Your heartbeat within my head.
This desire is sickening.

Moments pass and I'm thinking of you, again.
Your voice sounds upon my lips, again,
As I remember the sound of mine on yours -
No, that wasn't a Freudian slip,
But I can make it one if you want.

I can't stop as my brain talks.
Despite how I try, ever it goes on.

And there you are.

Sleep, please help me.

I've long since lost best how to express the best of me,
Never knowing the words needed to let you know how I feel.
I try to find the courage to give voice to emotion
and fail.
Nothing ever seems as it should be,
So each time I hesitate - I let you go,
Turning in the end to my pen in an effort to tap the flow.
Knowing that I am letting you go cuts deep and true,
But what is the right plan of action when I can't speak?

Maybe one day you will see these words and know the best of me,
Maybe one day I will confess what I've hidden inside,
And maybe one day I will be the man to face my fears
To learn whether you and I could ever be.

I am the cover-up
Hiding your wrinkles and disguising the lines
On those who live like you,
And you are the RedBull and ***** on the rocks,
Giving nights on the run and mornings straight from hell,
To those who live like me.

Days crumble like the burning of your bridges
That you had precariously built upon nights
Full from the first sip to the last drops
Before the strange beds you awaken in.
Sleeping and slaving away by day
So that you can reign as Queen upon the Knight.

But, in time you will awake to find
That I am not there by your side,
And as you stumble to the mirror,
Your reflection without me has become something you despise.
So go from guy to disguise and know
You'll never find another as good to you as me.