You're a beautiful existence
in a beautiful, brutal distance.

and I said

And you're a *****.

You shattered my existence.
Thank God for the distance.

No, no you don't.
Read my poetry and you will see
That I do,
But that can never be again -
Thanks to you.
You have broken me in every way
I knew it could be.
We, we can never be,
But we never were, either.
You were too busy, wrapped up
In your own self-centered world
To see what we
Could be,
Could have been,
And what we will never be.

So no, no you aren't.
No, no you don't.

I, I miss you.
Because I, I really loved you.
And now I don't know why I ever wanted to be with
You.
I'm left wondering why I tried
So hard, and for so long,
On something you let go
Because you needed some ****.

Little One, my love,
my heart, my world.
My love for you
and its strength for you
has power beyond words
that will never let go.
It will not shrivel and be gone
when the paper has devolved
back to its roots
when time out of mind
has worn it down to none.

The insanity
that seizes me
is fertilized by your past actions
and incubated in my head,
growing and growing
'til it can no longer be contained.
Then I burst out as crazy
to vent all my mind,
to build anew
in that space left vacant.

As I feel by turns spurned
and then jealousy in return,
on and off that keeps
the wheels of this evil complex
moving.
That jealous want
to have you to my own,
to be with you,
and to be all to you, causes my downfall in your eyes.

And I am left with love
as I try to continue to be good
to you and your needs
at such this distance.
I love you
- it feels as my only function -
and its all I ever want to do.
And then you let me go

Distance.
Distance, distance.
I am a distance runner.
I love to ride my bike long distances.
I love to go on long drives in my car.
I love to go the distance.
But Dear God,
I hate the distance
That keeps me from you.

Dark Beauty
Smile Bright
Black jacket
Black jeans
Tight to curves
Dark as night
Black boots
Beach bunnies wear
Sleek brown hair
Smooth brown skin
A curve here
A curve there
As dark brows arch your face
As dark lashes arch back
From dark brown eyes
Telling hidden thoughts
Masking emotions
Smooth movements
Dark as shadows
That is you
All this darkness
I can't wait
For this night
To see the moon

I don't want to be your friend,
I want to be your man.
You promise me "someday",
And I've listened up to this point,
But you don't want to be with me.
Not when, not how - Not now.

You say I didn't understand
Even when I try as best I can,
But when you don't want to talk
And tell me what's going on
- Do you know what? -
I don't want to understand,
I don't want to see life
Through the eyes of a liar.
I don't want to know life
Through the mind of a liar.
And most of all,
I don't want to live life
In a story of lies.

So to that effect,
This looks to be

My Goodbye

This could be
One of the hardest choices
Of my life,
But I have to make you see
That I want to Be
With you,
But that is not a Need.
This is a decision
And not a Necessity
To have you in my life.

So on that note,
I begin to step away.
Your actions speaking with force
In opposition
To all the words your voice has spoken.
I'm tired and overdrawn
Trying to be your one.
Goodbye to you,
My love,
My baby,
And maybe one day you will see
That you want to be with me.