This forced separation from you is not half a week old
Though I feel the weight of it bearing down, suffocating my soul
At first I felt nothing and thought it an easy road to follow
But after that first day, that burden has dragged my soul in a downward spiral
If I an to survive this trying time apart
Without being driven twice times insane
I must find a fitting substitute for you
One well enough along to quench my thirst for you
However, as best you may hope,
Not well enough off to permanently quench you from mind heart and soul
If I could bring myself to go check and see
A doctor's perfect bill of health I would receive
But if Love had anything to say on the subject
I just might find myself en route to the Intensive Care Unit
For all I'm worth, and how you care for me
Please play it smart and right
And for us both, possibly pray to God
That your maker cuts time short, gives you a respite
If it would help settle your case
I would get down on my knees to plead clemency
For with it granted on you, same would be done for me

Its been more than a month
From that first moment
That my life finally seemed to start
I can't help but think of you
Every waking moment I possess
And even during sleep
Though dreams are flighty and less predictable

I still find it hard to believe
That I feel the power of the heart
So strongly connected to you
Having only seen you three times
Including that very first night

As of now, you are the beating on my heart
And now with the connection gone for a month
We will be tested more than the distance alone
Hold strong and I will do my best as well
To make it double as far as we are now
Without the constant contact we have had thus far
Be strong my Love, for my heart beats not without you
How long can I live without the motion of my Heart

You are always busy
My time is filled with nothingness
Does this contribute to your at ease
And my longing to see your shining form
That nags at my soul as flies to a horse
You have no urgency to hold me with your eyes again
Which makes my pain that much more obvious

On the phone with you constantly, texting not talking
It eases the tearing at my soul, but only to a certain degree
Like taking Advil for a pain requiring Vikodin
The time spent there holds me well enough, though the lips of silence
Speak untold words of doubt and remorse, and of hope
Thoughts of you pushing me away
Of you with another man
Me wishing I had done things a little better
Wondering if you are the one for me
Wondering if our time is near to an end

What am I doing with my life?
At this moment in time,
That is a very legitimate question


I myself, rarely if ever know.
I tell myself that I am going to college
So that I can get an English degree,
And teach English,
Until I am able to get a permanent position in lifeguards.

I mean, honestly,
Who goes to college for that?
And is that even the truth?

All I've done recently,
Is drink myself stupid
And make an *** of myself,
With women and the world.

I'm going back to the crossroads
This being the second time for a first time
And a first time truly participating in this day
Many times in those years gone and gone by
This has been a sad, forlorn day
Or it could have been the fact
That all of this confused me
I did not understand all that they felt
And why they felt and acted in their fashion
But now I have one of my own
I am beginning that learning curve
To understand what it all stands for
Two firsts in one day makes my head spin
And causes my stomach to reel
I am ready for it
I just don't now it yet

I'm going back to the crossroads
Even facing infinite objections from myself
I have to prove to the world that I can go...
No. Change that.
I have to prove it to myself.
I always enjoy a good challenge
But for reasons unbeknown to me
I have fought as valiantly as any gladiator
To avoid any sort of interaction
Such as the one I am about to embark upon
For no one else but me
And maybe for her as well
I head back that way
As I go down to the crossroads

Dragging on like the steps of a tired man,
Heading home after a long day at work.
The clock arms seem paralyzed in position.
Always the same when a full rotation,
And maybe more should be gone by.

A pit full of guilty criminals
Caught in a trap sprung by the law
Does not come close to doing justice
To the nervous tension clutching my stomach

I know what must be done
Once I am set free from my captor
- This enlightening prison of the state -
And hopefully I will not dawdle
Or have to be dragged by my ear.
No mother, I don't think that will be needed.

Like an infant, time crawls near.
Like a bull rider due to ride next, I grow more anxious.
But as a seasoned boxer, I will roll with the punches,
And in weathering the storm of emotions,
I can accomplish the task at hand.

When you cease to talk to me
I feel empty more than you imagine
My life seems to drain away
I sit and wait for you to call
Or drop me some long awaited text message

Then does my heart rejoice
Trying to slow my return text

Oh, she replied in 15 minutes
That means I have to wait at least 45
Eh, I managed 35, let's do it anyways
And thus we continue our beleaguered talk

I want to be near you
To talk in person
But without a prepaid gas card
That will definitely not happen
Though every weekend just might be possible

I will do my best to be around you
But my lips will invariably stray
Wandering away from you is unquestionable
Though how often is up for debate
I will do my best to make it less than once a week

I'm sorry for quitting you so quickly
I must be the biggest freak
That you have ever met