Love is a cold war,
I'm a colder soldier.
My heart has become barren,
A frozen wasteland.
Cracked like the ice
That encases it.
Its been the target
Of many a snowball's chance.
So now I hold
Strong and cold
With weapons in hand
Prepared for this cold war
Which has made me
Even colder.

I try so hard to stay awake
push pin nails on shattered windows
the crust and glass of my aimless past
plagues my waking dreams
I am a broken crumbling
flesh and bone
monster
I
am
monster
I am broke.
I am but I slave to this matrix of
suffering

how do I maintain
this smiling face

how do I remain
in this friendless place

Her face wears anger, daring you
to look into her eyes and offer “hello”
the only things left to lift her to standing
are guilt and tears held in place daily
by repeated phone calls to her children

Neighbors are uncertain what to say
everything changed when her husband died
tinnitus of lonely continually ring
guilty for feeling angry that he left her
she always drinks alone now

I brought her some dinner on cafeteria china
unbreaded fish that she wanted for lent
She thinks people are laughing at her.
her eyes are brown and mostly terrified
crying out for someone to see her

Standing there, in her soft, white sweater
head drenched in tears and apologies
anger exchanged for compassion
I hugged her tightly for a good long time
so she would know that I meant it