my mouth is a genuine, hollow spread
of an apocalyptic obsession.
that yellow thing in a sky reminds me of daisies,
and everything that isn't permanent.
if it goes down, i'm going down with it.
uniformity is path of broken arms and twisted ankles and
i've honored my emotions for the last time.
every other touch, every **** has been corrupted.

my lungs are aching from the smoke
you bore this morning.
i am the glowing, shining thing in the sky,

waiting for that fallen ray of light.

after a moment, i see you glance across
the black lake; a symbiosis enriched
with mud.
i create a sculpture engraved
with her last breath. all of it.
calling out from beneath the torn branch,
a shade a fog becomes my own mask.

danced into a puddle
of rain that condensed too quickly.
she caught me. every last whisper
and sound and grievance
was heard.

green fever,
thin lips, skinny thighs,
and a mask to hide it all.
red cheeks,
rosy eyes - dark with a
twinkle of sunlight.
so far off into the galaxy,
a shining crescent resides for
us to play and sleep. we are children,
not bound by mental insurrection.
and we daydream.
gossiping, holding, feeling
until we drift into adulthood.

tears on a tongue,
dried, graveled peppers scorched
her skin. it's damaging
to think the ground possesses the
fury of a pagan god.
it's an intensity, unmatched;
a handshake, five fingers.

she makes me want to hurt myself again.
my sanity lies on the edge;
the circumcised periphery,
make me whole.

maybe if I understood
that this loneliness is forever,
I wouldn't be burdened by
the sadness.

i slipped into a wooden box encased with
childhood trinkets and the smiles
i once possessed.
four walls, i circle around
scraping the remaining abdication out of the corners.
the light fights the cold so i don't have to
and i'm still here,
exerting the force stolen from me.

what do i do when you're not here?
the pleasure of absence is so refreshing.
it's like i'm feeding off that piece of rejection that
you'd snorted.
i am hurting;
my limbs can't push down these walls.
a constant polarization tainted with darkness
clouds the sky and the wooden splinter
and i am still here.
I am still here.

right now isn't the time for love
or for dutiful thought.
i just wanted to mean more than i meant to you.

hit her with the knife;
mouth caved in.
dressed without purpose
feeling sorrow within.

dancing on the chimney;
smoke packed down.
bullets in the moonlight
cries broken down.

the conveyer belt spins;
jumps into the ocean.
skies plunge deep
without their kin.

o' how i miss you.