There is something to be said for being forever
That you will exist when my flesh is bone and dust
When my legacy is naught but stony word
You will remain

When no traces of my tears do show
To water the dry earth
To know that you will forever cry in my stead
There is something to be said

And there is something to be said in knowing
That your memory of me will never end
And in your memory I am sheltered
I will remain: an ash amongst the ashes

You poised a gun to my head
And raised a question
And asked
In simple terms
Terms that humanity will understand no matter how far evolution takes them
“Do you want to die”
said your gun
“Click”
went your mouth
and as the hour hand fell and grains of sand dropped like atomic bombs to the bottom of an hour glass that should have run out eons years ago
You raised a gun to my head
And poised a question

My hand it lifts to push away
Yet it grabs and holds for sanity
The castle that I live in has become a jail cell and my past
has become my future
“Teach me something new”
said I
“I don’t think I’ve ever died”
I said
And as I spoke you raised a gun and poised a question and the lever clicked and your mouth asked if I wanted to die and I said yes
And you fired
And I fell
And you left
And all is well
For the blood spatter made some crimson wings I can fly with into tomorrows sunset where the future is only what I make of it and death is a myth because we have already died and in my final moments you
Raised a question
That humanity will never understand because they cannot die
“Do you want to die?”
Do you want to be removed from this everyday cycle where death brings life and reincarnation and I
Want a way out
And you
You have the means to get me there and yet
I cannot leave for you see I have so very much left to do here and she
Is waiting in the wings
With wings
With wings
For me

Humans cannot die for they are everlasting in this planet that keeps us asleep and dumb to the existence of the other worlds
And we no longer believe in fairy tales
No longer believe in angels
When they fly into our rooms at night and whisper promises of freedom humans do not believe
No longer can we feel the energy that flows in the soil and breathes in the branches and lives in the essence of each soul
And Yes, we have a soul
And Yes, I have a dream
And Yes, you asked a question
And Yes, I answered Yes
“Do you want to die?”
Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m stuck here
Give me a few years and I’ll be back
As someone else
somewhere else with a new face and new memories
But it will still be me
And Humans have no humanity

You raised a gun
And raised a question
I poised my hand in thought and for a moment thought
I could be free
But justice has no liberty and we
We
Are stuck here
On this planet in this place where they cannot reach us
And she
She is on the other side
And so is she
With the wings
Them both
They wait in the wings with wings with wings for me
And he
He is here as well
But he
Doesn’t not fly for humanity has taken away his wings and we are stuck here and the blood splatter is the only hope of wings we find
And time
Is irrelevant because we have all time
All eternity
But eternity was taken away

“Click”
went your mouth
“Do you want to die”
went your gun
And I look to the sun for an answer
But she is silent
She wants me by her side but he is lonely
And I
I have so much left to do here you see
And we
We are stuck
In reincarnation we are doomed to live forever and never
And never get out
So won’t you help me get out

You raised your question with a
“Click”
and poised your gun with a
“Do you want to die” and I said yes
and you fired
and I fell
and you left
and all is well
but I am still here

I could tell you how to think.
I could repeat the words
of Old Masters to try to sound profound
and aloof with some sort of higher knowledge than you.
I might recount the pain of a child starving,
trying to get your heart to bleed, or race
to flutter, fly or fall. I could try
to compose my thoughts on paper, but even
from lips to ears their meaning is lost
so on paper they would have even less power.
I could try to change your life. The way you think
about an apple blossom or how you speak
with luring words to a potential mate.
I could weave you a story to keep you on the edge of your seat
or mind; in your lovers arms, or all alone.
I could try to detach myself,
attempting omnipotence compared to you.
Even trying to speak to you through words would
be an empty effort, though.
For who wants to listen to a stranger
and have them tell you how to think
how to breathe and let loose;
dance to the rhythm of life setting your mind on a new beat?
Who will read these words and be affected?
Would it help then, if I made myself known?
If we were related, or entangled or embraced
would these words be more than words to you?
Would you listen if I told you why the sky was blue
or your eyes were gray or why the world turns
in a specific rhythmic patterned way?
I could try to tame the storm of English to tame the storm of your mind.
I could attempt to write a world for you:
an escape
or a solitude. I could write my heart on paper for you.
Open it up: it’s secrets and it’s thump-thump reasoning.
I could convince you it beat for you and only you, but really
it is just science.
I could tell you how to be happy, but happy is relative.
I could try to describe the feeling I get when I am not alone,
the breath of another mingled with mine,
but experiences are experienced individually and I am not in your mind.
I cannot think the way you do nor affect people the way you can.
You may be a pilot bringing people across the globe into each other’s arms;
or an artist painting the portrait of a dying girl;
or an engineer building bridges between hearts.
But I am a poet, and all I have are words.
But who will listen to a stranger?
What would it take for these words to be more than words to you?
I do not know for I am no philosopher or doctor. I don’t know
who you are or how you work, so trying to convince you
that I am all-knowing
is pointless and painful. So many of us suffer because of that vain effort.
I could try to write you a companion but the comfort we each desire
is unique.
Your dreams are not my dreams, and my dreams perhaps,
would not make sense to you.
My happiness is not yours. Nor is my favorite flavor ice-cream
yours. If I were to write you the feeling I get from smelling daisies
it might mean nothing to you
because it is not in your vocabulary, or doesn’t bring you my peace.
I could write my breath and it’s puff-puffing from running
but then I’d have to detail how the oxygen works it’s way into my lungs.
I could say that he is my oxygen, but what does he mean to you?
I could tell you not to be scared of the dark, but
darkness, too, is relative. For inside a lit room at night,
the window is stark in contrast. But stand outside for awhile,
and your eyes will adjust like getting used to the pain if it is incessant
and everlasting.
And who wants to listen to a stranger?
Who wants to know the inside of my mind when they have their own
to figure out? The maze of synapses that only make sense to you
and to me they are indeed a maze.
I could tell you that when I see rain I think of cobblestone streets in London,
but who, besides me, would connect those things?
And who wants to listen to a stranger?
The only thing I may attempt is to bring myself closer to you
through words.
Because they are all I have
and with them, I can tell you anything.

Lord Help me I have bled for You
On Your land and in Your eyes
I have never done a thing to disguise
how I have shed my armor and fallen in my grace
I have had tears and dirt and blood on my face
I have made and I have lost and never discerned
never looked to the sky when my life was concerned
I have fought and I have raged and I have ever devised
some dastardly plots unfit for your eyes
I have glared and I have pillaged and ruined your name
But Lord help me let my son do the same
for the deeds that I have done are the man that I am
And the sins I have committed are part of your plan
so help him grow strong as he is always kept down
lend him your strength to rise from the ground
Help him to learn and to worship your ways
but always remember to fight for his days
Let him know peace and to live and let love
and to always remember your presence above

Her eyes the color of angry skies
Doth look upon my face
And from it's dark grave my heart arise
And flutters in her grace  

Her bloodied lips are daunting
As they move to form her words
Her melodic voice; haunting
As it shames the tune of birds

Cutting the air her edge sounds sweet
As it flies and slices with sin
I find my heart is skipping beat
As a new passion doth begin

Her blade then makes a faulty move  
I see my pale skin start to cry
My last mistake falls from the groove
As I lay my sweet self to die

my slender chest is falling
As I **** in ragged breath
I hear white women calling
As they usher me towards death

I see my lonely spirit rise
While in vanity she is took
I pause myself before the skies
Granting her one last fleeting look

The scene below me is flying
As mercy scatters in the breeze
I wake to find that I'm crying
Left with scarce more than memories

I stand on soft shaking limbs
As I realize with a start
my dreams' revolution brims
With a secret hidden heart

I'll dance with my fair maiden still
And watch her determinedly fly
O'er green pastures, and yonder hill
Until we kiss a sweet goodbye

My tattered armor holds me tall
As in my post I always stand
Let my warriors never fall
As foe’s die by this; my hand

And if captured by the enemy
With pause and fear forbade
I will draw her shining edge to me
blessing my Lady Blade

Grief lives nomadically.
Flitting from battle scenes to grave yards,
Hospitals to back alleys layered in filth
The faintest tickle of pain
Is an infection: a parasite.
Eyes opened to the misery of every step
The every tear falling
The every heart aching:
To be perfectly aware,
It is a curse.
To see pain is to feel it.
To remember anguish is to live it.
Empathy: given out to waves of love starved people,
Until there is no more to give,
But thousands yet to receive
From a comrade in broken arms,
Who has made suffering an eternal sacrifice.

The velvet kiss of silken petals
Slipping thorough the breeze
Sighing limbs are gently swaying
And a fire's raining from the trees
The world, for once, is quiet
Undisturbed the petals roar
A dance is created that is never again
And never been seen before
And the sway conceals two figures
Two bodies loose laced with hearts entwined
Pressed beneath the cherry tree
They hide away from reality
And forget about the world

Red rain drifts through lazy winds
Whipping across smooth faces:
Pink with cold kisses.
Lingering warmth of parted heat
Laughter echoes off surrounding world
Smiles joyfully bright
Feelings drip like delicate lace
Tangible, vulnerable nonetheless
Carefully chosen words
Memories cast aside avoiding reality
Momentary hearts sweep icy skies
Tomorrow remade

Sating stains unrecognizable
dripping filth of first love gone
Insignificant swelling of power
We are human
Hungering for control over strong hold fear
Tangible in it's release
We are human
It moans to be sought by destroyers
We are human
Hypnotized by dances of mesmerizing flesh
patterns mangle until there are no more borders
sweeping over luscious ruins
we depart from entrapment and lightly fall
Silver gleams off malleable thoughts
We are human

His T-shirt
Is old

And has been washed so many times
The fabric is warn and bare
The letters advertising his favorite team are faded
And he said it had shrunk on the drying line

His T-shirt
Is silly

Because it comes just to the top of my knees
And hangs off my shoulders so that the seems
Where his broad chest would end
Are at my pointy elbows

His T-shirt
Is warm

Even on the coldest night because it is him
It has his happiness and his smile and it hugs me just like he did
And though it fits me all wrong and makes me look
So small

His T-shirt
Is memories

I hear that during night you lay
Awake and wish it was the day
And I hear that during morning's light
You wonder why it isn't night
These dreams they are a funny thing
They root inside your heart and sing
Of hopefulness that should have lost
It's path amongst your souls black frost
For years of winter's downy snow
Has taught that flame of hope to go
And I, the candle burning bright
Have come to save you from the night
But first, my dear, please tell me why
You should not listen to this lullaby
And, still with wick inside heart's ice
Should not let this fire slice
Away the nightmares and the dreams
For hope is not as lost as seems

Flames crept to the center
Of pages: torn. Written so long ago
That memories of that time
Begin to fade, like photographs,
Blurred around the edges. I find
I can no longer remember.
Some moments cling,
To the pages. They are woven into
The words. And for every word
That reminds my soul, a tear,
One so hypocritical in its existence
Rolls mockingly down my cheek.
Should I lift a hand to wipe away
The memories, surely that would be
Similar to admitting defeat. But,
To what? I always fought. Why?
Was it your smile? The trust I felt
I owed you? The simple way that I
Could lose my guard around you?
Could I ever leave you, the one who
Wrote so many memories into me?
I could not. No, but you could leave me.

Children
Are small and pretty,
Impressionable, and vulnerable.
I was a child, you
Were not.
And yet as a child I observed.
I knew.
All the terrible lonely things you
Have given to the world.
And I
Was a child.
All I could do was watch.

With a kiss

I will show the world
Every word I've been searching for
Every breath of
Wait for me
As your footsteps fell away from me
Every breath
That came a little late

With a kiss

I can take it back
Every bad thing I've done
Back to the beginning with no wrong
Or right
And all anything thing is is light
When the only walls we know
Are the walls that keep us alive

With a kiss

I can make the world
I can mold it and shape it to your face
Make the cherries taste as good as you
And the sun as bright
Because a kiss can change everything
Can bring the world to it's knees
And beg you please
Don't leave me

With a kiss

You are the breath of song
that laughs in my ear
That dissapears when I turn around
Evaporating around my fingers like smoke
falling to the ground like sand
and vanishing in the wind you came with

You are the echo of a heartbeat
that just before I fall asleep
resounds in my ears and in my soul
That turns into the gentle ticking of my clock
when I listen too hard to find you

You are the warm skin I feel on mine
when I first wake up
When arms can still exist around me
because my dreams haven't yet left
For they are chased away by mornings light

You are the smile in the mirror behind my reflection
The one I turn to face
to embrace
The one that is never there

You are the feel of a kiss
hot and real against my lips
The feel of goodmorning
and goodnight
and goodbye

You are the memory of a lover
You are the one I will never forget

You are the reason my eyes rain with the thunder
because you always danced outside in a storm

You are the gentle caress I feel on my face
when my tears are wiped away
and the wind whispers to me
"I will always love you"
In perfect imitation of your voice

I am a blank canvas

I am black lines

And Empty curves

Sloping

And

Swirling to form beauty

I am erased and drained

Let out of memories

Groggy from finding catharsis

In the rain


I am imperfect

Tears

And tears

On and in the blankness

In the blackness


The lines are shaky where they meet


I have no end

And no beginning

Only a forever route of lines to follow

And curves to trace with brushes

Or maybe hands


You are an artist

With an imagination

Creativity that flows

And knows

No bounds


You have the rainbow

Pouring out of your laugh

And into my blankness


You have found the lines

And decided what colors go where


You have filled me up

Painted me into existence


I have gone from a pencil sketch

To a breathing being


I have no end

And no beginning

Only a forever route of lines to follow

And curves to trace with brushes

Or maybe hands

She was a child once. A child young
And innocent and full of energy and she
was hurt. Cuts and scrapes can be recovered from
easily. Mindset cannot be replaced. Now,
she wears a neon sign that flashes: Broken.
That screams: Help me. That pleads: Save me.
And yet, her face is a page full of smiles and lies.
She is the girl that every boy wants and every girl
wants gone. She is lipstick smears and
morning after pills and [she is cutting herself in the bathroom
again] She is beauty at the point of dissolve.
Her mask of make-up cracks and in those cracks,
You can see a wall of tears. She was a child once:
a child young and innocent and full of energy.
And now, now she is on the evening news.
She is the daughter every mother is ashamed of.
Docket number 7356. A DUI added to the mix. She
Is the one at the high school reunion everyone says:
what happened to her? And her answer? What is it?
"I grew up." She was a child once. Then she grew up.

I want to breathe you in
Feel your skin upon mine
In
Simplistic satisfaction

I want to hear your heartbeat
And feel your hot breath
On the back
Of my neck as I fall
Asleep

I want to live in the afterglow of nothing
Of Pure happiness
And lazy content

I want to see your smile
At every stage
And have your laugh on repeat
Next to me

I want to see your face
At two in the morning
As you let your dreams
Take you away
And I want to know
That I am part of them

I want you to let down your
Iron-clad
Walls
And let me in

I want to be
So very selfish

I want to know your
Memories and
Pain and
Triumphs and
Falls and
Every little thing that can make
You smile

I want to record every second
I spend with you
To watch again
When we are apart

I want to see you grow
To see the sun bathing your
Skin
And it's warm, sandy texture
To be pressed against mine

I want to soar with you
Over all of the hate
And misery
And corruption
In the world

"I can take on the world with
One hand
So long as you
Hold the other"

I want to love you
In the childish
Pure
Fresh and simple
Sense of the world

I want to explore you
And everything
That you are built from

I want to know every
Twist
And turn
That makes up your soul

I want to be
So very selfish

I want to brace you to
The storms
And inevitable pain
You will face

I want to kiss away every tear
And memorize every contour
Of your face

I want to laugh with you
I want to laugh for you
Because of you

I want to invite you into my world
And my heart
I want to share with you
Everything that can be shared

I want to feel your muscles
Ripple and contract
Underneath me
As your mind disconnects
From this world

I want to discover with you
Every part of yourself
You haven't yet explored

I want our breath to mingle
In and ever-present
Greeting
Of hello
And "I love you"

With you I want to reach the end of
The rainbow

Share in disappointment
And bliss
Misery and
Ecstasy

I want to hear you call my name
Everyday
So I won't be forgotten

I want to watch you
Break apart
And lose your way
And
I want
To be there
To help you Re
Discover Yourself

I want to hold you in my
Arms
And run my hands all
Across you

I want to be
So very selfish

I want to give you back rubs
When you've had a
Stressful day

I want to get lost with you
I want to explore with you
I want to ignore the world
With you

I want to watch the
Sunset'~'Moonrise'~'Moonset'~'Sunrise
With you huddled by me

I want to know everything that
Bothers you
Everything that makes you angry
Everything that makes you cry out
In anguish
Or defeat

I want to share a lazy morning
Cup of tea
Or slice of toast
With you

I want to face the darkness
So long as
Your eyes will guide me

I want to sit on a dirt road
In the middle of nowhere
Curled tight against you
Under a blanket
And watch a campfire burn out
And the stars replace the flames
As our light source

But being with you makes me
Shine so very bright
Anyways

I want to be
So very selfish

And have you by my side

Your arms lift me up
From the crumbling bits I've always been
Softly the stars fall down
And we wish on every dream we have
Melodies of love captured
And floating
In the bubbles we blow during summer nights
On the roof of our apartment
With Christmas lights strung around to imitate
The lightning bugs we imagine
And the light
Dances on your smile
And in these moments
When your arms lift me up
From the crumbling bits I've always been
I see the sun
And I know peace

When my tears are blinding
And I cannot take another step
Weakness dominates me
And I cannot fight for myself
Those lightning bug nights
And your smile
Keep me going
From destroying myself
Into laying in a field of flowers
Watching my dreams float slowly by
With you at my side
I turn to you and see
Your face illuminated by the sun
And soft wheat grass
The golds and greens and beauty
Looking out of place in front of you

Your broken spirit is beautiful
And your tears heal any wound
I know the pain and waves that come with misery
The washing and overwhelming
Drowning in your past is easy
The current can pull you under
And the numb is beautiful in those
Moments when time stops
And I see your smile
I will pull you from that pain
And fly with you into tomorrow
With it's feather soft promises
Brushing our skin with strength
To carry on

We find salvation in our mutual destruction
And in those moments when you save me
My flesh remembers you so well
Your touch and brush and feel
The memory of yesterday can haunt you
I know
It has been so long since you whispered my name
Yet the waves are below me
And your love has made a raft
That sits calmly on the water
Which reflects the sunset magically
And in the sunlight
I can see your smile
And it saves me
By lifting me up
From the crumbling bits I've always been