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Jun 2012 · 418
Shouting at My Shadow
J H Webb Jun 2012
September 21, 1996*

There’s so many things that I want fixed
But I don’t wanna wait no I want them quick
And there’s so many things I don’t understand
and I feel I should now that I‘m a man

When I reached out there was no one there
so it seemed to me that no one cared
Now your reaching out is foreign to me
Cause I never learned to just let it be

So when I holler at you don’t ask me why, you should know
I’m not shouting at you, I’m shouting at my shadow

When things go wrong I know it’s not your fault
Though my frustration brings us to a halt
It’s just a pattern I learned long ago
but I’ll get over it soon I hope
Until then I’m trusting you to pull me through
It’s not a demand - I’m just asking you
Because you’ve become so important to me
and you have the strength that we both need

So when I holler at you don’t ask me why, you should know
I’m not shouting at you, I’m shouting at my shadow

I know I misplace my anger and my love
get the two mixed up then I push and I shove
and I know I can keep too much inside
and bottle it up when I feel I could cry
And I know that’s when I should turn to you
and try to explain what I’m going through
but the past is so strong and the present so new
that sometimes I fall back on my age old views

So when I holler at you don’t ask me why, you should know
I’m not shouting at you, I’m shouting at my shadow
Jun 2012 · 343
Bridge
J H Webb Jun 2012
There is as bridge born between friends
that must by necessity be travelled both ways
Sometimes there are meetings in the middle
and sometimes at either end
but the bridge once built cannot be torn down
an eternal tether strung between hearts
if cannot be forgotten only ignored at the cost of both
And when one chooses to ignore what the other cannot,
the result is an unbearable pain that must be endured
J H Webb Jun 2012
July 7, 2009

Do you ever miss me when the days are full of rain?
Are you sad that the good times we had won't come again?
When you need someone to talk to don't you wish I was around
Just to have some one to listen who would never put you down

Chorus: Well, roses bloom and roses die
People laugh and people cry
And everything that we’ve ever had or that we'll ever know
Will one day be lost like the rain or last year’s snow*

You loved me in the springtime; when we travelled summer roads
Oh but I could never find you once the leaves began to blow
Well I'm sorry if I forced you to be a friend you couldn't be
And I'm sorry if I loved you a little more than you loved me.

Chorus

I would tell you how I've missed you but I don't think you would care
for your heart’s grown hard to open and closeness more than you can bare
Tell me don’t you ever wonder how two close and kindred hearts,
With a lifetime full of friendship, could as you claim, “just drift apart”?

Chorus

Ah now winter's hand is pressing and too soon we'll have to go
and it seems as sad an ending as any heart could ever know
So please tell me do you miss me. You who've looked inside my soul
or has my memory faded and have the years just made you cold



J. H. Webb
Jun 2012 · 143
I'm Sorry
J H Webb Jun 2012
April 22, 1990*

I saw everything and yet I choose to turn away
I didn't mean to leave you though hurting in this way
Everything was as I planned but nothing was
as I wanted it to be - I'm sorry

The Speaker of the truth somehow is still a part of me
But with a pain so hard to bear it kills the honesty
I didn't think I deserved your love so I pushed you
far away from me - I'm sorry.

When I met you stars came out for all the world to see
I knew at once that you were meant to be a part of me
I didn't know though how to give or how to
let love simply be - I'm sorry.

Now your gone the stars attack the smallest tears in me
and rip away the fabric there, that covers where I bleed
They shine their light upon my pain for all the world
to see inside of me - I'm sorry.
Jun 2012 · 172
Thank You For This Song
J H Webb Jun 2012
Jan 11, 1991 (1:04am)*

Thank you for this song
It cheered me up when  I  was down
It felt the only thing right
when all was wrong
and I thank you for this song

Thank you for this song
It brought light to this desert of darkness
where I thought I belonged
and proved I was wrong
and I thank you for this song

Thank you for this song
May only the brightest stars guide you along
And the blessing of angels follow you
your whole life long
and I thank you for this song
and for letting me sing along
Jun 2012 · 190
Most Every Day
J H Webb Jun 2012
April 22/93*

She was pretty as a child
She grew quick. She grew wild
No one knew her. No one cared
No one touched her. No one dared
And her anger lead her astray, it's sad to say, most every day

And there are those who would say
It was her fault. She was to blame.
And though I know that may be true
You can't just say "it's such a shame"
And watch the world grow cold and grey, it's sad to say, most every day

Some go hungry. Some live alone.
Some get beaten in their own homes
Some have lives aren't worth a ****
They know no smiles or helping hands
And love for them is miles away, it's sad to say, most every day

And as for me I have a life
free of such troubles and such strife
I feel wanted and special too
My parents love still shines through
and I feel it's precious rays, I'm glad to say, most every day

But still I sit a selfish fool
Though I know life can be cruel
I do nothing to lend a hand
I give no comfort. I take no stand
I close my eyes and turn away, it's sad to say, most every day

And what of you? What do you do
Are you afraid as I am too
to look them straight right in the eye
to give your heart or precious time
to make the world a warmer place, in some small way, most every day

If that's the case how can you blame
A lonely child brought up in pain
When you yourself won't make a change
or even try to break the cage
that traps the soul in silent rage, it's sad to say, most every day
J H Webb Jun 2012
May 31, 2012*

We had quite an adventure
in our marriage didn’t we,
you and me

… and him

But it ****** near killed me!
You didn’t know that did you.
Though you might have guessed it,
Thought you might have been afraid
I’d “off myself”
and leave you feeling so guilty
that it would throw you off your *** with
you know…
…him
for a day or two

I was seven stories up
on the balcony of our Toronto apartment
and balancing on the edge of the railing
when I realized,
(luckily before a wind came up),
that you weren’t worth it.
and that I was

Yes, we sure had an adventure
didn’t we
like being thrown in a vat of acid
and our eyes stapled open

James H. Webb
Jun 2012 · 265
Beautiful Eyes
J H Webb Jun 2012
Beautiful eyes
With the start of fine lines
Blue like the sky
With a softness as kind
Straight to the point
And direct in her style
Yet the heart of a child
Still lives in her smile

James H. Webb
Jun 2012 · 308
Give a Man the Honour of
J H Webb Jun 2012
Apr. 19, 1989*

Give a man his credit if credit be his due
Give a man dissension if it help to change his view
Give a man a question you know the answer to
But give a man the honour of telling him the truth

Give a man a promise then break that vow in two
Give a man a hollow, rmpty bed to wake up to
Tell a man you hate him, hate him through and through
But give a man the honour of telling him the truth

Give a man a moment’s notice or tell him all year through
That soon you will be leaving; you’ve changed your point of view
Tell a man you’re hurting  and don’t know what to do
But give a man the honour of telling him the truth

Take the scissor blades of anguish and cut the bonds that grew
Between the hearts of strangers whose souls once opened to
The love of one another and what one another knew
But give a man the honour of telling him the truth

James H. Webb
Jun 2012 · 384
So Many Suppers
J H Webb Jun 2012
Jan 24 1978*

Twelve noon rolls around
the delivery man comes to the door
and you cash in on your smile.
At six o-clock supper is served
your guest says it’s a terrific meal
so you cash in on your style.
Eleven o’clock warms the bed for you
your husband lies beside you
then between you
you groan occasionally
forgetting your style
your supper is between your legs
what hunger there is left
that the delivery man
could not take care of.
Your legs are tired
you run dripping to the bathroom
you don’t even know who it is
that is dripping from you
you have served so many suppers

James H. Webb
J H Webb Jun 2012
January 23, 1993*

Tender young thighs and old cushions
Warm places to rest her sweet head
Hard sweating smells and soft fingers
And hair stretched out on the bed

There's a ghost in the jewellery box mirror
As pretty as any you’ve seen
There's a ghost in the jewellery box mirror
Reflecting a tired old dream

Ah but none of us know why she’s spinning
When in truth she is headed nowhere
Though each of us forms an opinion
We must lose as the truth comes to bare

There's a ghost in the jewellery box mirror
For the devil is female it's said
There's a ghost in the jewellery box mirror
It's pretty 'til it turns its head

There's a grace that we lose when we're aged
There's an honour we lose when we lie
There's a guilt that can tear the heart ragged
When it beds down with truth at its side

There's a ghost in the jewellery box mirror
And all I can do is to stare
There's a ghost in the jewellery box mirror
I know because you placed it there

There's a heart beat to count every moment
We're apart and both in despair
You cry for a love that is past, Dear
I cry for a love is still here

And what trickery has taken this anger
That has witnessed your love laying dead
and placed it full in the sunlight
where it festered and flew from my head?

James H. Webb
Jun 2012 · 245
Daily Haiku
J H Webb Jun 2012
Oct. 16, 1979 Brantford*


One day beauty leaves
Life’s oceans form around you
Drown you in their waves



What mis’ry hidden
There for no on but to see
Leaks from eyes closed tight



Suffering runs wild
Nothing restrains the virtue
To be found in pain



Your eyes are beautiful
Because they’re deep
I learn from falling in


James H. Webb
J H Webb Jun 2012
In the momentary spaces
between the real time
I live a life as real to me
as any you could find

In the quiet between heart beats
where fear is standing still
I pretend to be the way I want
with youth, and strength, and will

In the silence of my foot steps
there dwells a voice of mine
that fights an endless battle
against what I might find

And in the endless winter
when you know the sun won't come
he appears for one brief moment
then hugs you, then is gone

And you wonder if he loves you
and you wonder if he knows
that you miss the little moments
when you two were alone.

And he wonders if you love him
and he wonders if you know
that he misses the little moments
when you two were alone.

James H. Webb

— The End —