Ah the fear hasn't left me; the depression hangs on
saying all that I've done and believed in is wrong.
Oh I can't get ahead when I'm pulled from behind
seems I'm trying to catch up with myself all the time.

I push ahead but life pushes me back
saying "Hurry get back on that old dusty track"
But the days rush on by and the nights I'm awake
fearing the moment that the morning light breaks

I used to like living now it feels a mistake
'cause the price paid for losing has grown far too great
it don't matter anymore if your good or your kind
you'll still get trampled down in the world's daily grind

Don't know why I continue I should give up the fight,
pack up my monkeys and strap them down tight
I'm so sick of hearing I'm wrong and they're right
just pass me the bottle and turn out the light

Ah! there's nobody here except me and my doubt
guess this bottle brings the mem'ries of my friends rushing out
don't know why I keep them; should throw them away
just like they did me each one on their own day

But I never loved lightly it was never my way
and love is like a wound when it slowly decays
now all I have left is their thoughts in my head;
and my heart is left empty as an old lady's bed

And there's nothing I can say will bring them all back
I just wish they were here when these feelings attack
Ah the fear hasn't left me; the depression hangs on
in each beat of my heart and each word of this song

J. H. Webb

Too many changes and the path is lost
Too many words and you lose the thought
Too many trials on a troubled heart
And the soul and the mind are forced to part

Too many promises turned into lies
by inactivity and time gone by
Too many years and too few friends
Too few beginnings and too many ends

Too many people I've known and have lost
Too many I've loved and too much the cost
Don't know where they've gone to and I don't know why
I only seem to hear about the ones that die

Too many memories where I was unkind
Fill too many moments of this old mind
Thoughts of what if and what could have been
Prevent me from living the age old dream

Age is all you have when your memories fail
Trapped inside this body like a wornout jail
How can I reminisce when there's no one there
to remember all the times when my heart was bare

James H. Webb

I should have put the lid on and held it through the night
And even when you punched and screamed - I should have held it tight
'Cause I let you out too early and now you've tied my chain
To the hole in your promise and it's causing me such pain

I never should have watched you undress and go to bed
'Cause your beauty and desire went straight to both my heads
Guess I let you out too early cause now you've tied my chain
To the ***** that you carry that I'll never own again

I never should have given you such power over me
But your hot and ***** manners were a pleasure to be seen
I know I loved you too early and far too deep and true
You thought I was a liar; I guess I thought too much of you

I should have let you beat me the way you wanted to
But in the end you did it anyway – we both know that it’s true
And you tore apart the pieces that once were me and you
And now I feel so foolish and so ashamed of you too

James H. Webb

I have no memories of the last time we touched
My finger tips are empty now; they're covered in dust
And my lips have forgotten how you tasted so sweet
You see I had to forget or to admit the defeat
The sorrows were endless and like the loneliest grave
no one came to see me; no one was that brave
And if I had of fallen those 7 floors that I'd planned
No one would have missed me - the loneliest man

All the nights were so endless and so empty and sad
And I cried all alone for any friend to be had
But no one could bare, face the endless parade
of the tears in my eyes; the lost promise we'd made
Days passed into months and months into years
Somehow I survived all my intimate fears
But if I could have completed that balcony fall
No one would have missed me - no one at all

And you weren't the only heart that I lost
There were so many friends that were part of the cost
I Still can't explain how I ever survived
Or if I even did, or if I'm still alive
Because who I was, is lost to me too
Just a memory of some other one that I knew
And if I had of closed my eyes and let go
No one would have missed me - no one that I know

J. H. Webb

If one day you find that I have left you
Not by choice and not by plan
Remember all the love I gave you
And try your best to understand
For the winds of time always move swiftly
They say they wait for no man
Now my dear I’m not complaining
I’ve lived my life and took my stand
And I loved you from the very first moment
That I first held you in my hands
I watched you grow and I grew with you
As first you crawled and then you ran
I’ve shared my heart with no one more purely
For you are a part of who I am

If one day you find, you really miss me;
Look around and I can’t be found
Well cherish always the many moments
That we both shared without a frown
Because even though I  loved you dearly
I always knew this day would come
It was my hope to be remembered
Even when I am dead and gone
And that on every Christmas Eve
You'd raise a glass and sing my song

J. H. Webb

I struggle for no reason; there's nothing to be gained
If I manage one step forward I take two back again
I don't know why I bother, hope has long since died
And anything resembling it is shrivelled up inside

Pain isn't just an allegory when it's in the heart
Where no measure of forgiveness can repair the broken parts
Yes everything is broken; all my friends are lost
And these feelings left unspoken multiply the cost

I struggle 'gainst all reason 'cos I'm deaf, dumb and blind
To the pull of many seasons; to the loss of so much time
I feel so much a failure and the wasted days of youth
Laugh at me and snicker as I try to face the truth

I did the best I could but it wasn't good enough
And the consequences batter me and make my living tough
And if I had but one friend I wouldn't feel so bad
Or if I knew one lover who was glad for what we had


J. H. Webb

I took a path that led nowhere
Romantic love it wasn't there
All the dreams I dreamed to dare
Were dissipated in the cold night air

The moon was hanging from a thread
And the sky was just a bruise of red
The anger left by the words you said
was darker than the coldest dead

You swept away our memories
De-leafed them like a wintered tree
You buried deep our deed of love
With scars to prove you wore no gloves

And the hollowed echo of the past
Breaks the silence like broken glass
And the pain and ancient misery
Comes back again to visit me

Ah, life is cruel - but it doesn't last
Love is sweet - but it goes too fast
Youth is quick - but oh so cold
And wisdom's wasted on the old

J.H. Webb

How long have I known you? No let me guess.
Longer than you meant to but stronger than the rest
I didn't hold you closest but I bet I held you best
Peel away the meaning and the sorrow is undressed

And there's a hunger that's relentless; it's a hunger that ain't new
It's a hunger that I borrowed from a girl who sang the blues
Well it looks like love to many, like obsession to a few
But others say it's just the way I fell in love with you

You were my only witness and so you know its true
There was no finer moment; there was nothing else to do
The mountains bowed before us - the heavens were in view
But there was sorrow from the moment I fell in love with you

How long since I've seen you. No let me guess.
Two other people's lifetimes - two decades of regret.
Too many times spent wondering was it really true
was there sorrow from the moment I fell in love with you?

Now many centuries later and many moments past
The path of time is kinder and the memories don't last
But if I didn't hold you closest, I bet I held you best
If you take away the meaning  - who I am is what is left

*James H. Webb

Sep 8 2014

There's a hush in my breath as I see you
There's a rise in the heat of the air
But you're not who you were when you loved me
And you stare like I'm not really there

There's a look of regret that you came here
And you're not even sure what to say
As you pack your last few belongings
I go to hug but  you push me  away

Chorus:* And maybe it was all for nothing
Maybe you were never really mine
But I like to think we shared something
Beyond these bound'ries of time

There's a song of remorse in the silence
Once you're gone and the door has been closed
And I just stand and stare 'til the light fades
Like the love that your eyes used to show

Theres a wide awake night in the waiting
Where I'll toss and I'll turn until dawn
There's a chill down my spine that goes racing
Now I know that my hopes have all gone

Chorus: And maybe it was all for nothing
Maybe you were never really mine
But I like to think we shared something
Beyond these bound'ries of time

Theres a wide awake night in the waiting
And a memory that's so hard to bare
From a moment I'm sure you've forgotten
When you said you would always be there

*James H. Webb

2014*

Well it's so far away now - in a time long gone by
The day you left without saying good-bye
Though it wasn't my intention - no it wasn't my goal
To break down and cry - I just had no control.
Well they say love is simple and they say love is blind
But I say love is endless ‘cause it knows no time.

Your love nestled inside me and carved out its home
In the fullness of my heart; in the marrow of my bones
And ever since you left me to go on your own
My heart has felt heavy yet hollow and alone
Well they say love is simple and they say love is blind
But I say love is endless like the blue in your eyes

Years are merely numbers to hang our memories on
A place to cuddle up to when an old love is gone
I still carry you within me where ever I go
As a part of my person - as a part of my soul
Well they say love is simple and they say love is blind
But I say love is touching a person through time

But I keep it to myself, yes I keep it all inside
Cause there's no one left to tell without losing my pride
Though it wasn't my intention. No it wasn't my goal
I just had no choice. I just lost all control
Well they say love is simple and they say love is blind
Yet for me it's just a part of you - I keep deep inside

J. H. Webb

Aug 22 2014

I thought you were a wishing well that I could wish upon
I'd simply toss my money in than ******* on the lawn
But you woke up screaming nightly and your fears went on and on
So I held my head between my hands 'til your craziness had gone

We made love until the morning came and woke me with it's light
Then I left you lying naked like an eagle in full flight
But at least I stooped to give you  one final kiss goodnight
And then I disappeared again forever from your sight

I guess I'm sorry to have used you but then you used me too
When two run out of love like us there's not much else to do
And I think of you sometimes at night when all my screaming's through
And I wonder if you're saner now or I've grown as mad as you

J. H. Webb

One day you wake up in the middle of Hell
Your daughter is sick; you worry will she get well?
It drastically changes everything you do and say,
Your time to yourself, and the time that you pray

And you beg the Lord for the strength to go on
For you know your daughter needs you to be strong
But how much can you take – you’re not 18 anymore
Your heart deeply aches and your body is sore

You haven't slept well since the whole thing began
It's hard to think straight but you have to make plans
And every day brings more fears and decisions to make
until you worry that surely, pretty soon you will break

Sometimes you dream of what it used to be like
though not that long ago, now it seems a whole life
And somehow you doubt your life will ever be the same
but you'd settle for some rest and some good news again

And you give all your strength and you give all your love
like the heroine you are; like an angel from above
and knowing you, you prob'ly feel you aren't doing enough
but we all admire you and love you so much

And us on the sidelines wonder deep down inside
Could we ever come close to the love you provide
Could we fill your shoes or even stand half as tall
Or would we cave in, overwhelmed by it all

One day you woke up in the middle of Hell
Your daughter was sick; so you were as well
And I truly can’t imagine what you’re going through
I just want it to be over for her and for you


J. H. Webb

I tried to save my youth for you
In the hope one day you’d come
And I tried to keep my vows so true
Though you only managed some

But the love I held and the love I gave
You never kept; you never saved
You put it down; you turned away
You closed the door and you left to stay

And the wedding bells now in the past
No longer ring, though their mem’ries last
For the truth of love is in the length
Not in the depth - nor in the strength

‘Cause a burst of flame is not the same
As the heat a kindled fire contains
Ah but love can be the breeding grounds
Where fears and doubts are tied and bound

Until one day they burst apart
And **** the dreams and flood the heart
And all the tender moments shared
Fade in time ‘til they’re not there

Just a vacancy that’s left behind
In an old man’s heart and an old man’s mind
With a pain that slowly fades to cold
As the winter comes and the night grows old

I tried to save my youth for you
But you waited too **** long
Now all the special moments
That we gathered up are gone


*J. H. Webb

May 25th 2002*

You knew when it came
but not how it came to pass
You wondered when it touched you
would it really be your last
You held it like a baby
or like crystal next to glass
and slowly then you realized
at last your time was past

And I bless you and I curse you
for I know you all too well
I live inside your other self
and share your secret hell

James H. Webb

March 1993*

Our friendship is a relationship created by both of us.
Before we came together, it did not exist.
It is shaped and sustained by our love, or lack of it.
It is a candle that we hold between us,
lighting our way through the world.
We must walk gently and side by side
or the winds or the times will most assuredly extinguish it,
and in our hands will be a thing that merely smokes
and smells and then grows cold.

The two of us are not the relationship.
Otherwise there would be no difference if we had never met.
The relationship is something new that now exists
and it will continue even if we separate permanently.
It is part of us and it will drain or strengthen each of us
depending on whether we nurture it from our hearts or
rob it with our fears.

If we can see this clearly we will instinctively rush to help each other
rather than turn away, and once that reaction becomes habitual,
we will be at one with a great love and a lasting friendship.
And wherever we are we will always
carry the other’s heart in our own
and never feel alone.

James H. Webb

jan 1-93*

You were no sweet sensation
When your fists, they began to fly
You would scream out holy incarnations
In the act of refusing to cry

And I tried to make you love you
Heaven knows how hard I tried
And my eyes told the truth of your beauty
But you always thought that they lied

Jul 10, 2001*

Little Dreams
of purple Swings
and green slides
and lullabies
Dance through your head
while your sleep
in your little bed
Darling mine
My sunshine
Daddy's little sweetness
the apple of my eye
I love you so
my tears flow
as I watch you sleep
Little Dreams
on purple wings
take off and fly

Jan 15/94

I had a friend
He had no wings
So he never did learn to fly
I had a friend
Was ******* in strings
though she never seemed to ask why

But all I know is what I see
and you are nowhere in sight
And all I have belongs to me
is sorrow and lonely nights*

I knew a life
much like the life
that you now have and hope to keep
I had a wife
much like the one
you will surely try hard to be

There was a time
when hearts were free
and our feelings flowed like a stream
Love? It was true
and honesty everything
that it was always meant to be

But all I know is what I see
and you are nowhere in sight
And all I have belongs to me
is sorrow and lonely nights

There was an age
when words were free
conversations flowed just like wine
promises were kept
and honour meant everything
though I guess it never stood the test of time

?

Feb 7, 1975*

Yes the room is still in order with the windows dressed in lace
And the bed is in the corner but it’s cold and gone to waste
The stereo’s playing music but the words are in bad taste
And everywhere I care to look your love has left its trace
From poetry and story books to lines upon my face
Its memory builds from empty air and breeds in every space

The room now seems so empty or has it always been this way?
At the time it always seems so real but in the end it's hard to say
Your tears left on the pillow have dried and left a stain
As if the bed is saying where you will not lay again

Your picture has been broken by some fool in his rage
The glass is cracked and shattered but the picture's still the same
It lays there now so boldy with a smile still on its face
Staring up so openly that I can't turn away

The windows too are waiting for you to gently close the drapes
And the dust has falling everywhere like a dry unyielding rain
And in sadness now I must leave this room where sorrows has its reign
And move into another world where death has no domain

James H. Webb

jan 25/2001*

The Atheist battled the angels
and then he battled in hell
but there wasn't much of a difference
as far as he could tell
The sinners all thought they were righteous
and the righteous all thought they had sinned
But no one looked out from inside themselves
they always just seemed to look in

When he rattled his chains they would worry,
But when he stayed still they were calm
And  the ironic sting of the battle
was in watching the battle move on
For it left him quite sad and dejected;
he had fought at the battle so long
That he didn't know what to let go of
his sword or the pen of his song

James H. Webb

Dec. 8, 1975*

Dear lovers,
we await your arrival
We are standing in a bus terminal
Frowns frozen on our face
Hands frozen on our watch
We are waiting in an empty home
Daily we are keeping house
Nightly we are trying to keep
your half of the bed warm

We look for you too often
in empty chairs
and old conversations
We feel sorry for ourself too often
in shaving glass mirrors
And we fear old age
when we comb the cobwebs
from vintage sideburns

The room is not at rest
even the windows miss you
the curtains refuse to open!

Dear lovers, we are lonely
We have tried everything
We have spent centuries writing
poems to you
We have wasted our life time
singing songs of you

We know you will not be back
That is why we wait for you.

James H. Webb

Dec. 2, 1992*

Something slightly not completely
That's when romance is in vain
You give your all and then you fall
And then you take a chance again
No, you're not foolish - you're just human
You're not alone in this regard
Life's full of many who's hearts in small ways
Are somehow always caught off guard

Something slightly not completely
Like a blessing from above
You wait a lifetime for the one sign
That says that this time "I know it's love"
You look so foolish when she hurts you
You look so crushed by your own pride
You mumble on and ramble into
The most depressing alibis

Sometimes slightly not completely
A certain memory comes to mind
Something purely - unexpected surely
From the ravages of time
Something holy a vision solely
Floats in front of your mind's eye
A girl smiling - her eyes are shining
In the final throes of love's demise

Someone slightly not completely
Taking someone for a ride
Dances smoothly, speaking sweetly
Never seeing what's inside
Something slightly, not completely
In her manner or her style
As she sees him and she greets him
Reminds me somehow of your smile

James H. Webb

Feb. 28, 1998

Soft, alive and wandering
The sound that hit the shore
Moves her world around in it
And beats a quiet roar

Worlds of bathing light she sees
Vibrating through the haze
The pressure and the feel of it
A comfort to be praised

Everywhere the shimmering sound
That is all she knows of life
Held within her mother’s womb
So far and free from strife

Softly as a whisper will
It land upon her eyes
Her mind feeds on sensations
As endless as the sky

James H. Webb

Scattered thoughts
shattered hearts
broken dreams
that fell apart
Tears that fell
have long since dried
love only lasts until love dies
when you feel  the pain
you wonder why
then one day
the light hits your eys
and when it does
you realize
that from the ashes a new bird flies

March 93*

Lord take me somewhere away from here
away from these sights and these sounds
Cause tonight I don't wanna be found on the streets
of this Ricochet Town

Sometimes up and sometimes down
One fine shot can turn you around
One man's smile is another man's frown
In this here Ricochet Town

Every game of life's the same
someone's loss is someone's gain
Somebody's drinking while somebody drowns
in this here Ricochet Town

There's a lady in favour in a backless gown
shattering dreams and washing them down
dancing to the rhythm and the beat and the sound
of this here Ricochet Town

Once I was ahead of the game
a man with a job and a wife and a name
but all those things got taken away
by this here Ricochet Town

So fill my glass until I've found
a way to turn this foul mood around
until I'm blind to the cruel background
of this here Ricochet Town

Sept. 28 1979 Brantford*

When he gets mad
he lets off steam
through the weekend holes
of his hammock
where he allows himself
room to breathe
the week away
This mental acupuncture
completed
like a solemn meditation
once a week
he holds of the threat
of Monday ‘til Friday.

James H. Webb

Lovers struggling through
The framework of words
Trying once again
To piece together
The patchwork of their love
They anchor their hearts
Inside of one another’s arms
And wet each other’s back
With memories that pound
Like tides against rocks

James H. Webb

When a bond is made it can never be undone
That is why your heart is always on the run
But I'll always be in your mind in some way
And always a part of your each and every day

You think love is hollow but it's solid as a stone
It's as light as an angel and as heavy as a groan
It travels it's own path but it never strays
It's always a part of your each and every day

Don't complain or pretend you don't know what I mean
I know I'm still in your heart, just not in your dreams
I've became part of what you breathe and what you say
And I'll always be part of your each and everyday

You can run and take cover but it's no good to hide
Those memories that exist are too deep for pride
Mean words and cruel gestures won't keep it at bay
No, it will always be a part of your each and every day

1994*

Out of the past a woman appears
“Who is she my darling. Who is she my dear?”
“Someone I loved a long time ago”
“No that’s not true you still love he so”

“In your eyes I can see a longing laid bare
Who is she my darling. Who is she my dear?”
“Someone who stole my heart from its home
Left me half shattered; left me alone”

“So why does her presence still fill you with fear?
Who is she my darling. Who is she my dear?”
“She’s no one my darling just let the thought go
For you are the sunlight and she’s last year’s snow

You fill my soul with hope and with care
Where she weighed me down you’ve lifted me clear
You are the answer to all of my prayers
I love you my darling. I love you my dear

You are the most love, one heart could convey.
She is a bad dream that won’t fade away.
Though I can’t forget her she can never compare
She’s no one my darling; there’s nobody there.”

James H. Webb

Dundas, 1973

There are many buildings
that stand without eyes to see them.
Your grandmother must have lived in one.
She was old and love had become
a constant affection on her face.
I had never seen her without a smile.
She had live through two World Wars
and three lovers
and had died alone
with only grey walls to say good-bye.


James H. Webb

(for Paul) July 21, 1988*

You’re a ghost and a specter and a madcap that laughs
A pawn and a broker who gives only half
A slayer of virtue and a killer of craft
A sinister victim of the cold and the draft
A child who is blind to the calling inside
That speaks of conviction and the courage that died
A soul set adrift on a gut wrenching ride
And I can’t help but wonder how you sleep at night

You’re a cutthroat in hiding and a stabber in the dark
At the virtue and the kindness of someone else’s heart
You’re a history and a nightmare that doesn’t fade away
Though I cut the bonds that bind us that ghostly feeling stays
You haunt me in my sorrow and defy the mental blocks
Set up to free my world from the loneliness that stalks
Your memories and manners are a bloodbath to my ears
And I can’t help but wonder how you managed through the years

You see me bleed profusely but you won’t turn on the light
You leave me in the darkness; out of mind is out of sight
The guilt that is your trademark never kept you from the lies
You scattered at my doorstep no made you realize
That rules that are unspoken doesn’t mean they don’t exist
And when temptation strikes them well a real man would resist
You hem and haw and mince about; never look me in the eye
And I can’t help but wonder how you’ll manage to survive

James H. Webb

Gently,
like a man
afraid of everything,
you hide
and I don't see you for years
then you appear in the next
subway car
face like a convicted criminal
you're shrunken down
and hunched over
and bald

and for the first time
I feel pity for you
mixed with my anger and disgust

I am burdened with the unanswered!
Does you past make you shiver
now that the wind of chance
has brought us together
and blown away the cobwebs of lies
that you use like a Tensor
to keep your guilt from swelling?

Do you cough up the bile
(that is so hard to swallow)
of that time of pain
that is now so old and neglected
it barely has memories
to cling to?

You see I know she left you too

I watch you across
the multitude of strangers
each of us
safe
from our regrets
and remorse
living like cowards
in the shackles
of our fear

I endure the pain of looking at you
I withstand the enslaught of memories
the bitterness of loss
I feel the pain
and I swallow
and for the first time
in a long time
I let it soak in
and when I re-focus my eyes
you are gone.

Mar 3, 2009*

Where do you go to when you feel nobody cares?
Do you think of your old friend and wish I was there?
Do you ever remember all the fun things we did,
the good times we had and the feelings we hid?
Now I know you weren't ready for my kind of love
But it isn't that different than the one you're thinking of
'cause all that really matters is that the love you feel is strong
and that strength comes from the feeling that you really belong
I'm not saying that I think you were wrong and I was right
I'm just wishing you were here on my own lonely night

Here the weather's so clear and the moon is so bright
as I watch the couples staring up at the stars in the sky
and once I would have felt those same feelings inside
and the warmth of my love would have shone through my eyes
but tonight the stars look cold and so unreachably high
And there's no one to turn to and I'm too tired to cry
Ah but if you ever read this don't think you're to blame
You did what you had to and in that there's no shame
I'm not trying to say that you were wrong and I was right
I'm just wishing you were here on my own lonely night

So where do you go to when the world leaves you alone
When your heart has many questions but not a single home
When you're sick of being told the love you're feeling is wrong
and you've kept it to yourself for too incredibly long
and though you've found many others who seem to feel like you do
there's still no special other that makes you feel special too
Now I hear you're getting married to someone I've never met
and I'm jealous, and I'm saddened, and I'm full of regrets
Still I'm not saying that I was wrong and you were right
I'm just wishing you were here on my own lonely night

James H. Webb

May 2007

Warm summer evening. Long family car ride.
Heading back from Aunt Gertie's with the moon shining bright.
Slouched in the back seat staring up at the stars
Just happy to be living while Dad drives the car.
Thinking' how much I loved him how funny he could be
He could always make me laugh and feel good about me.

CHORUS:
Memories of  Copetown, Old Binkley's Side Rd.
Our little house in the country when I was eight years old*

Summer vacation I'd walk to Inksetter's Pond
Thinking of Joanne Dallman so pretty and so blonde
Dreaming of holding her soft hand in mine
Ah but it never happened 'cause I was so ****** shy
But when I look back on days like these
I think if I'd asked her she would have been pleased

CHORUS:

Playing war in the backyard with Russ and with Steve
We'd pretend to be shot and fall down on our knees
Ah but we knew the difference you didn't **** for real
No and you didn't swear and you sure didn't steal
Sometimes we’d go fishing down at Mueller's creek
Ah but we never caught much; least not much we would keep

CHORUS:

Every year in the Autumn we'd have a corn roast
With a great big bonfire and the ones we loved most
I got to stay up late after everyone was gone
And I'd stare at the embers while Dad played a song
His harmonica drifting on the sweet evening breeze
He played "You Are My Sunshine" and I thought he meant me

CHORUS:

In the winter they'd close down the old ravine road
Where we'd toboggan for hours never feeling the cold
And when we got back home the old fire was lit
Mom would give us hot chocolate and we'd sit and we'd sip
Ah we knew how to play then. We knew how to have fun
But then we never worried where the money came from

CHORUS:

Ah now that was so many, so many years ago
Where all those years went I… I swear I don't know
But when I let the mood take me I'm back there again
With my parents, my sisters and old neighbourhood friends
and it's taken me a life time to see how lucky I was
to have such a childhood and to feel so much love

CHORUS:

Memories of  Copetown Old Binkley's Side Rd.
will always be inside me no matter how old
Memories of  Copetown Old Binkley's Side Rd.
Are more precious to me than all the diamonds and gold

James H. Webb

June 1 1978

Locked in the labour
of love and loneliness
once forgotten and twice removed
you are the hinge of my nerves
at the edge of my breakdown

Unaware of your power
of touch and smile
you back away and close behind
something forgotten, tied to my heart
tears away and bleeds.
James H. Webb

Scarborough circa 1989

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
Raises the morning on her shoulders
Swelling between tears and laughter
She melts words into meaning
and gambles on intuition and power

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
looking back and looking forward
finds the dawn most appealing
and issues commands and warnings
to all those with the inner strength to heed them

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
smiles, and the strength of metal
and the purest of beauty
are forged anew

Into the eyes of this miraculous woman
I enter a new beginning
where wisdom lives, and moves, behind her horizons

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
becomes the centre
where all truths are issued passage
and all lies are refused

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
blends courage and compassion
into hues of fine precision
and automatic weapons

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
spreads warmth like a familiar blanket
and moves the day by her power
just as it moves her.
James H. Webb

May 31, 2012*
You never stood a chance
You know that don’t you?
I was too frightened
You were the smartest woman I had ever dated
You were more than a match for me
And me?
I was damaged goods

But then you knew that didn’t you
You knew the hell I was going through before we met
And the pain that enveloped my heart
And still somehow you found me worthy of loving
And you tried so hard and I pushed you away so harshly,
So unfairly, so cruelly

You weren’t the one I wanted to hurt

I am so sorry for that – for what I did to you
And I am sorry that I will never see you again
To let you know that

James H. Webb

January 3, 1998*

It’s a small circle now
So many friends have gone
Some of them have passed away
And some just moved along

It’s a small circle now
‘cause I never stretch my wings
The breeze I can’t remember
Nor it’s call or beckoning

It’s a small circle now
And smaller, I know, soon to be
And though I leave my mark
On fewer now, it’s easier to see

It’s a small circle now
Ah but I love them all the more
And each one that I lose now
I miss more then before

It’s a small circle now
And maybe it’s all I can draw
But those in the ring are more precious
Than all of the diamonds I saw

James H. Webb

2007*

It was silence bled an angel
from the devil of my step
towards the distant future
that I cannot forget
It was laziness unbound me
and held me in its grasp
'til fear of failure found me
and shot me from its path
I dread the bitter moment
I walk the dreaded line
Those of you don't know me
must think that I am blind.


My silence bled an angel
That walked in perfect step
In a pain I still remember
In a dream that haunts me yet

I dress it when I’m shameful
Otherwise it naked flies
Across the span of promises
That time turned into lies.

And now I sing so painfully
That all the birds take wing
And the past is but a memory
That holds me by a string.

James H. Webb

June 8, 2008*

It is in the dark of night they will come for you
Long after the shadows have come and gone
And the autumn air has gotten cold out there
And you find yourself craving for the dawn

Long after the roar of the younger years
Has settled upon your ears
And age has taken everything
Except your deepest fears
You'll carry on like a wayward ship
Like a wayward ship but to where?
You'll meet your death "give in" or fight
Or you'll find you just don't care

In the dark of night when they come for you
Long after the shadows have come and gone
When the autum air has gotten cold out there
And you find yourself craving for the dawn

Carry on, carry on, carry on.

February 22, 1990*

Idol eyes searching through the world of the should have beens
Wonderin' why, the things you need are all the things that can't be seen

I hear the words you speak
I feel the strain in every sound you make
I hear the words you speak
You wanna get closer
but all the time you are so frightened

Idle eyes anxious to be buried alive then born again
Realize! To be free of pain you simply have to give again

Idol eyes living the ancient sorrow of a yesteryear
You wanna fly, above the ground and soar beyond your deepest fears

You never try, you think the pull of gravity will hold you here
Well who am I, to tell you that your freedom is so awfully near

I hear the words you speak
I feel the strain in every sound you make
I hear the words you speak
You wanna get closer
but all the time you are so frightened

April 30, 1990*

Every morning when I rise
Wipe the tears from tired eyes
Look myself in the mirror and I
say I'll survive

I'll survive. I'll survive.
Through the tears that cloud my eyes
I'll survive

I tell myself that it's okay
Doesn't matter that she went away
I'll be whole again someday
I'll survive

As the moon and sun shine on
When the other one is gone
So will I, I'll carry on and
I'll survive

Old broken threads leave dangling words
and promises now sound absurd
the only truthful thing I've heard is
I'll survive

At night my sorrows burn and fray
I lie awake in slow decay
clench my fists and softly say

I'll survive. I'll survive
Though the tears may cloud my eyes
I'll survive

There are songs I use to sing
that I can't remember
I want it to be fall
but it's into late November
and the momentary stall
is nose diving with the weather
there'll be no morning dew
nor afternoons of heather
and the ev'ning just fell through
with the promise of forever

So let me glide
let me slide
all that you gave to me
I want it back again

So let me glide;
take it in my stride
all that you gave to me
I want it back again

Ah don't you see
what you did to me?
I loved you in my time
fresh and clean as a baby

He is not yet gone
he lies sleeping
but I have planned
his death
for 2:30 pm

And I can not express my love
for him and have it understood
unless you have been through the same

Euthanasia is such a strange word for it
but at least it is light
at a time when one feels
so heavy

I accept the word for now
It draws less tears from these sore eyes
and makes the task easier
if that is possible
It is very  hard to ****
someone you love
It does not help to know
that is is for his own good
when it is not for my own good
But I have planned his death
for 2:30 pm

When he looks up at me
with those half blind eyes
I can't stop my tears
from soaking his fur
and I don't try
He deserves that much and more

A doctor will be present and
a good friend of mine will bury him
shortly after.

Jan3192*

How do you measure a friendship?
How do you measure pain?
For both can leave you feeling
you will never be the same

For I have loved you and you have left me
And I will never love that way again

How can I realize what I have
long before it is gone?
How can I handle the loss
when all is said and done?

For I have loved you and you have left me
And I will never love that way again

How can I cling to and hold on tight to
anything my friend
when everything there is
leaves you in the end?

But still I love you with a love true
That won't change though all the ages do

And I won't forget you
for you have touched me
like my heart's been touched by
so precious a few

For I have loved you and you have left me
but you're still with me in a strange way, it's true

No I won't forget you
for you have touched me
Though you won't touch me
ever again

His hand isn't closed
But he won't let go
Of the memory of her eyes
And the softness of her soul

And he calls her in his dreams
But even when she shows
She stands just out of reach
In the arms of one he knows

And he fears she is insane
And he fears she owns his heart
And he plays her silly games
And his disappointing part

His heart isn't closed
But there's no one left at home
That he can have and hold
And the nights are dark and cold

And when she calls he runs
'til she shouts at him to crawl
But his love he can't control
And he heeds her beck'n'call

And he fears she is insane
And he fears she owns his heart
And he plays her silly games
And his disappointing part

His eyes are tightly closed
But her picture never goes
It haunts him when he wakes
And in every breath he takes

And he hears her gentle voice
In the sigh of every wind
And he forgives her in his heart
For the awful things she did

And he fears she is insane
And he fears she owns his heart
And he plays her silly games
And his disappointing part

Thursday, August 27, 2009*

Her love sat in the corner. Her dreams sat in her head
Where other people lived a life; she dreamed a life instead
Her fear sometimes went racing, when no one was around
With no one else to see her tears splashing on the ground

And in truth she was an angel who put all others first
But for reasons deep inside and not written on her shirt
And shallow are the many that don’t look into her eyes
To see the pain or joy of life that she solely has survived

While patience knits a sweater for someone else’s kid
And the colours that she stitches in are all the dreams she hid
Oh, it’s quite a pretty rainbow but only from one side
Ah but no one crosses over to where her spirit cries

So run my little darling, though the sunlight of the day
Before the evening shadows and the sun has gone away
Gaze into the sunset of each and every day
And love the every moment that you’re allowed to play

Don’t leave your love in the corner or your dreams in your head
Where other people live a dream; live a life instead
Don’t let you fear go racing, when no one is around
And don’t be afraid to let your tears run splashing on the ground

James H. Webb

March 17/93

The night was young but I was old
That summer was warm still I felt cold
When I left you, you know I had no control
Forgive me my only son

When you were born I was not young
And when you grew bigger I was too old to run
But I loved you with a passion that was second to none
Forgive me my only son

REFRAIN:
Please forgive me and forgive your self
and don't leave your heart on the shelf
Feel the beauty of the moment
and remember well the past
but look forward to the future
for as long as your days last
and forgive me my only son*

You never come to see me where I silently lay
only you sister places flowers upon my lonely grave
Do you still hold the memory of a father too old to play?
Forgive me my only son

We had no riches in our family to display
Our home was very simple in the old country ways
But you never went hungry and you smiled a lot those days
Forgive me my only son

I was there for your first step I can't be there for your last
Forgive me my only son

Cambridge Oct 2000*

Chorus Take East River Road down to Blue Lake
I'll meet you by morning, make no mistake
Though I be dead and buried my love will come to you
And greet you 'neath the willow as we would always do

And when you're feeling lonely my darling don't despair
Just close your eyes and think of me and you will feel me there
I'm in the gentle breeze that's blowing through your long blonde hair
I'm in the call of the morning dove so plaintive and so rare
I'm in the falling autumn leaves and in the autumn air
As long as you remember me than I am everywhere

Chorus

Life must seem so cruel to you or certainly unfair
To finally find your one true love and then he is not there
To lose the one who touched your heart as softly as your hair
To lose the dreams you thought were ours to cherish and to share
And though I cannot help you with these burdens you must bare
In spirit I am with you Love in spirit and in prayer

Chorus

And if you think my love has died, that simply isn't true
Know my love will be with you 'til eternity is through
'Cause you are my one true love and true love never dies
It just opens up its wings and spreads across the sky
So when you hear the sighing wind you will have heard me cry
And when you see the rosy dawn you'll know I have passed by

Take East River Road down to Blue Lake
I'll meet you by morning, make no mistake