May 17, 2012*

When it seems that life has left you all alone and without prayer
When you feel there is no reason to carry on 'cause no one cares
Remember I'm beside you to keep your doubts in line and
I will carry your heart. I will carry it in mine

When you are old and tired and your dreams are all but gone
When all your strength has left you and your feel you can't go on
When your fear and your anger have become too intertwined
I will carry your heart. I will carry it in mine

When you are dead and gone and the roses refuse to bloom
When the clouds are thick as thieves and the days so full of gloom
When your memory is fading from this world and from this time
I will carry your heart. I will carry it in mine

J. H. Webb

Ah the fear hasn't left me; the depression hangs on
saying all that I've done and believed in is wrong.
Oh I can't get ahead when I'm pulled from behind
seems I'm trying to catch up with myself all the time.

I push ahead but life pushes me back
saying "Hurry get back on that old dusty track"
But the days rush on by and the nights I'm awake
fearing the moment that the morning light breaks

I used to like living now it feels a mistake
'cause the price paid for losing has grown far too great
it don't matter anymore if your good or your kind
you'll still get trampled down in the world's daily grind

Don't know why I continue I should give up the fight,
pack up my monkeys and strap them down tight
I'm so sick of hearing I'm wrong and they're right
just pass me the bottle and turn out the light

Ah! there's nobody here except me and my doubt
guess this bottle brings the mem'ries of my friends rushing out
don't know why I keep them; should throw them away
just like they did me each one on their own day

But I never loved lightly it was never my way
and love is like a wound when it slowly decays
now all I have left is their thoughts in my head;
and my heart is left empty as an old lady's bed

And there's nothing I can say will bring them all back
I just wish they were here when these feelings attack
Ah the fear hasn't left me; the depression hangs on
in each beat of my heart and each word of this song

J. H. Webb

Too many changes and the path is lost
Too many words and you lose the thought
Too many trials on a troubled heart
And the soul and the mind are forced to part

Too many promises turned into lies
by inactivity and time gone by
Too many years and too few friends
Too few beginnings and too many ends

Too many people I've known and have lost
Too many I've loved and too much the cost
Don't know where they've gone to and I don't know why
I only seem to hear about the ones that die

Too many memories where I was unkind
Fill too many moments of this old mind
Thoughts of what if and what could have been
Prevent me from living the age old dream

Age is all you have when your memories fail
Trapped inside this body like a wornout jail
How can I reminisce when there's no one there
to remember all the times when my heart was bare

James H. Webb

I should have put the lid on and held it through the night
And even when you punched and screamed - I should have held it tight
'Cause I let you out too early and now you've tied my chain
To the hole in your promise and it's causing me such pain

I never should have watched you undress and go to bed
'Cause your beauty and desire went straight to both my heads
Guess I let you out too early cause now you've tied my chain
To the ***** that you carry that I'll never own again

I never should have given you such power over me
But your hot and ***** manners were a pleasure to be seen
I know I loved you too early and far too deep and true
You thought I was a liar; I guess I thought too much of you

I should have let you beat me the way you wanted to
But in the end you did it anyway – we both know that it’s true
And you tore apart the pieces that once were me and you
And now I feel so foolish and so ashamed of you too

James H. Webb

I have no memories of the last time we touched
My finger tips are empty now; they're covered in dust
And my lips have forgotten how you tasted so sweet
You see I had to forget or to admit the defeat
The sorrows were endless and like the loneliest grave
no one came to see me; no one was that brave
And if I had of fallen those 7 floors that I'd planned
No one would have missed me - the loneliest man

All the nights were so endless and so empty and sad
And I cried all alone for any friend to be had
But no one could bare, face the endless parade
of the tears in my eyes; the lost promise we'd made
Days passed into months and months into years
Somehow I survived all my intimate fears
But if I could have completed that balcony fall
No one would have missed me - no one at all

And you weren't the only heart that I lost
There were so many friends that were part of the cost
I Still can't explain how I ever survived
Or if I even did, or if I'm still alive
Because who I was, is lost to me too
Just a memory of some other one that I knew
And if I had of closed my eyes and let go
No one would have missed me - no one that I know

J. H. Webb

If one day you find that I have left you
Not by choice and not by plan
Remember all the love I gave you
And try your best to understand
For the winds of time always move swiftly
They say they wait for no man
Now my dear I’m not complaining
I’ve lived my life and took my stand
And I loved you from the very first moment
That I first held you in my hands
I watched you grow and I grew with you
As first you crawled and then you ran
I’ve shared my heart with no one more purely
For you are a part of who I am

If one day you find, you really miss me;
Look around and I can’t be found
Well cherish always the many moments
That we both shared without a frown
Because even though I  loved you dearly
I always knew this day would come
It was my hope to be remembered
Even when I am dead and gone
And that on every Christmas Eve
You'd raise a glass and sing my song

J. H. Webb

I struggle for no reason; there's nothing to be gained
If I manage one step forward I take two back again
I don't know why I bother, hope has long since died
And anything resembling it is shrivelled up inside

Pain isn't just an allegory when it's in the heart
Where no measure of forgiveness can repair the broken parts
Yes everything is broken; all my friends are lost
And these feelings left unspoken multiply the cost

I struggle 'gainst all reason 'cos I'm deaf, dumb and blind
To the pull of many seasons; to the loss of so much time
I feel so much a failure and the wasted days of youth
Laugh at me and snicker as I try to face the truth

I did the best I could but it wasn't good enough
And the consequences batter me and make my living tough
And if I had but one friend I wouldn't feel so bad
Or if I knew one lover who was glad for what we had


J. H. Webb