Why Mom?
Can I just ask, why?
What did I do to you to deserve this?
You say you love me but this is not love.
This is not love.
Love is not hitting me in the face.
Love is not hitting me anywhere.
Love is not yelling.
Love is not cruel words you say to me.
Love is not physical or emotional abuse.
Love is not alcohol.
Love is not drinking by yourself in your room.
Love is not drinking with people who use you.
Love is not putting alcohol above all.
Love is not putting alcohol before me.
Love is not supposed to create hate.
Love is not abuse.
Why, Mom?
I'm begging you to stop.
I'm on my hands and feet begging.
Please, Mom.
Stop drinking.

Day and night go by
Everything is still the same
No one seems to notice
How miserable and alone you are
Day and night go by
No one seems to ask
If you've been okay
If mom is still drinking
Day and night go by
Nothing has seemed to change
Mom is still drinking
Mom is still hurting you
Day and night go by
Everything is still the same

Their biggest fault is their impatience

How quickly they fall in love

Then right out of it

Last night I felt alive

As I dreamt of being on top of a building

We were sitting over the edge

Our feet dangling hundreds of feet above

As I got up I slipped and fell

You reached for me

You called my name

But your words were distance

I was falling through the sky

My heart was pounding through out my body

I shut my eyes as the weight of the world fell through me

I braced myself for death's arms

I never left so terrified

Until I awoke

The smell of cigarettes remind me of you

So I smoke one

And another two

So I can taste you

So I can feel your kisses linger along my lips

So I smoke three

And another four

So my head can be rushed with memories of you

So I can feel you one last time

I cannot stop smoking

I cannot stop thinking of you

Will these cigarettes **** me first or you?

I only wish more than to burry myself
Deep within the ground
Only so my body can wither away
So my bones may decay
So I may become the dirt
Where the flowers will grow
Where the sun will shine
I want to infuse with the earth
I want to be useful for something