this isn't a poem
but I met aubrey plaza
chris pratt
and
nick offerman
they were so fabulous,
kind and
considerate
I feel lucky to have met them
and now i'm crying

finally
the overwhelming feeling of
recognition
they've seen you
they know who you are
it's the best feeling in the world
you're buzzing
loving
smiling
laughing
crying

it's fabulous
it's beautiful
it's relief
a breath of fresh air
it's persuading
persuading you to go on living

pressure
makes up society
makes up reality
clouding our vision

nothing is real anymore
where is imagination?
inspiration?
indication?

indication that we are still human
we don't want to memorise
things we despise
just to get a prize

pressure is all around us
we want to be the best
and beat the rest
and face the test

we will lose who we are
what we feel
what we think
what are we programmed to be?

so many people
names unsaid, forgotten
became the best
but crumbled with the rest
because of pressure
to become the best

when you try your best
but it isn't enough
and you start thinking
you are no longer better than the rest

that's when the demons
they enter your head
you can't get them out
your mind is dead

everything's your fault
why aren't you clever
why aren't you pretty
why aren't you skinny

now I am telling you
to never think like this
and if you already are
you're better than this

I want the action and cut
the confident strut
the not-knowing-what's-what
making me tut

I want the blinding lights
the disturbed nights
the cat fights
making me right

I want the drunken slur
the not-you-it's-her
the lazy chauffeur
making me blur

I want the beauty not the brains
the heartaches and the pain
the work and the strain
making me faint

I don't want the lights
I don't want the fights
I don't want the pain
I don't want to feign

this life that I dream of
that millions desire
I think I'd be better off
staying the little liar

alone, alone
is where I will always be
stuck in a memory
living in the past

where are the happier days
they seem so lost
or maybe I'm blocking them
with my mind that I've lost

friends are fake
they will only wait
once you've baked the cake
and then they'll run

they'll run away
they can't stop to chat
because really
you never even knew them at all

that's when it sinks in
you've no-one to turn to
you realise who you've become
alone

here we go again
that's what they say
when they hear things
about me anyway

they are true of course
every part
the stories, the mischief
the betrayal of the heart

you don't know me
and I don't know you
so why are we still here
saying things out of the blue

you don't like me
but you don't want to say
all of the things
that will cause me pain

you want to be the nice person
you race for people's love
but you're not really all you say you are
you really want to give me a shove

so here I am again
on the floor, crying
because words hurt
even if you are lying

Tears come streaming down my face,
Wiping off my make-up
Tears are streaming down my face,
Am I good enough for you?

I don’t want to try anymore
I don‘t see the point
Will this be the end
The end of me?

When I jump, I want to fly,
Would be better than staying here
I can’t stand watching
Everyone leave

Why can’t I be alright?
Why can’t things be the way
They way I want them to, be?

I just want to be happy and
Feel like the other girls
With their glorious curls
and lollipop swirls

There is no crime in being kind
To those who find
That being kind
Is hard enough
When they can't even smile
Just for a while.