I sought you
Beyond the madness that your eyes
Hoped to find tranquility in the silence that was your heartbeat
In words, by color
I tried to paint you
Frame you
Make you whole again
Rummaged through walls and concrete
Met by air, dust and solitude
Your soul was long gone
So now was the perfect time to carry your body
I guess
It wasn't really suicide if you were already dead on the inside

I sit and remember
Of how you were a crucial member
A part of, a bit of
The smiles I formed
The laughters I conned
I sit and remember

What I feel is best spoken
Not written
Best walked
Not ridden
If wishes I'd have every kind of horse
If permitted I'd use every kind of force
Just to get you
Give that smile back and respect you.

Love is a bed of roses
But you forgot roses have thorns
You were pricked and went away crying
I was left, never stopped trying
But I was zoned
Boxed in a circle called friend
Yes I sit and remember

Moments when our love touched
Affection kissed
And care caressed our feelings
We valued eachother and just like a shilling
We owned our world's currency
Then came inflation-we crumbled

I remember
You bought a teddy
Fused your name and mine to give birth to GreWan
I remember you telling of an endless together
I sit and remember and I ask
What happened?

I sit and remember
Of how my mother smiled at your sight
Of how every effort to get you back
Led to a fight
Silence, tears, anger, fears, lows, darkness
I sit and remember and wish for that candle to light
Give this darkened heart some light

#memories # heartbreak  #tears

I have slayed before
But I'm sure this will be a redefining moment
I hear you talk of guns and arrows
And I wonder if there was a moment like this before
A moment where past and present met future and time immemorial
So now I'm just crawled up in a corner
Thoughts and maybe dreams of better times and greener days
Warm nights that didn't need a lover's embrace
We lit our own fires within our hearts

I have written but never like this before
Pardon my brain for creating and expressing the unfathomable
Yet I can only fight with my words
So I spit bars and hope not to crush you

I am a slave
A prisoner of my own mind
Do me no harm then
I've already killed myself
And maybe I'm crazy so I speak sanely
I have lit subtle fires
That I hope won't consume thee
Gather warmth
Before the hurricane that is my presence extinguishes it.
I am the corner to a circle and epitome of feeling
Warn the rest of your generations

I don't know your pain
And I wont say I understand it
We have both known rain through thunder
What we cease to have in common
We have known individually

Yet we'll keep plunging and dragging ourselves down to this abyss
Hopefully you'll catch me in the middle
Or maybe there will be light at the end of it
But what is risk if you can't take it
What is fear if you can't shake it

We have known darkness
We have seen light
Our renaissance has begun
Harlem is in front of our eyes.

If the sounds of gun play are foreign noise to you
And the words cease and desist don't make any sense to you
And if handcuffs weren't the first metallic cuffs you ever so on your father's wrists then step away from the sound of my voice
This might mess you up.

I have walked into these streets in the light of day and I have crawled back into them during nights when the darkness was so thick you felt it caress your skin
Yet these concrete jungles have fed me with the green of the earth
Tell me, aren't I blessed?

And they could write a million stories about the few of us who made it out of here
But I don't want to gain the world and lose my soul.
I stand true to the struggle
Power to the people

These streets have taught me not to sweat with my palms nor to feel with my heart
These streets have taught me that emotion is liability and that laughter is a sign of weakness for you who can't stifle pain  
These streets have taught me that the only way to react to a man's smile was by the  clench of my fist

So shame on you for trying to assimilate me
Tell me can an alarm clock wake you up better than a gun shot
There's a certain therapy that comes from pulling the trigger
That cannot be matched from puffing no dope
That right there
That's the real adrenaline
**** a gun and you'll know

And in the fullness of my element I urge you to cease and desist in your quest to try and change me
These streets are everywhere so no you won't break me
Chain me
Cuff me
I have been in systems better than your prison cells they call it night time where I'm from