a wishlist ten feet long that says 'make me feel love
make me kiss someone and like it'
but its a bit of a catastrophe and its not gonna just right itself
stars dont care if i shine the same way-
do they?
but no ones got the answer
or they do, a thousand
just have to find myself in the sea of intricate possibilities
(or the river of one- they never say)
yet im not there anymore-
am i?
reborn as a storm id say
there is nothing wrong with the way i dont feel
(they wont believe me; the weatherman says the storm was yesterday)
cut open my heart and youll find
a thousand swirling stars evading constellations
a galaxy of planets revolving around themselves
im a larger than life,
im an immortal-
are you?

i jumped off a cliff but i didn't hit the ground
i must have caught the solar winds in a nice place
cause i was snatched into space off that cliff on that day
so i reached for the stars and the stars reached for me
and the sky fell apart and all things turned to dust
but still i was there turning dead and dry
no matter how i tried- i couldn't make myself die
so i shriveled into nothing and grew back more and more
forgot planets and worlds as new suns grew once more
my hair turned to stars and my skin turned to fire
but even those lights went out- after time
and i was no more-
and very gladly so

whatever you say, d a r l i n g
i'll take it to my mind
keep it there, write it down
whatever you say, d e a r e s t
i value your advice
life and soul falls from your mouth
causually as anything else

one, two, three
rain drops down on a black black land
every drop turns a different color as it breaks apart
and music notes come singing out in partly raindrop chorus
it doesn't have to be a different rain a grey a story plain
the window's streaked with colors, the blood of long dead men
and now my heart is sliced with shattered glass stained rainbow hues
the window broke the rain came in and i am now quite dead
electrolytes will fill my blood and up the voltage power
and you come close and kiss my lips and taste the kaleidoscope death
your tear might fall and hit my skin and fizzle out to die
and then you'll leave and my corpse will rot
and electricolored blood remain

halfway to infinity,
three quarters 'round the sun,
one of the many things she said to me
after she was gone
she said that's where you'll find me, love,
and breathed a slow slow smoke
halfway to infinity,
love, that's where i'll be
and with her words
her strange, strange words
she only could confuse me
and her charcoal lips would smile
as she said such strange and unreal things
yet paradoxically wrong, they sounded
or maybe halfway right.
right, i'd say, and where is that,
halfway round the sun and moon?
you'll find it someday, silly love,
but i can't tell you how.

halfway to infinity, she said,
three quarters round the sun,
i wish i knew what she meant by that
for now she's dead and gone

i see a
cloud full of sky, bending in the waters of a large large lake with crystal black shores
a blue grass field all scattered with daisies that pull up the soil and lie dead on their sides
a multicolored ceiling soaring overhead, yellow glass and pink glass and colors unimagined glass all filed into points and swaying overhead while below the water shows the blue blue sky

i see a
twisted strand of heartbeats strung out across the world as a million dead people dance across it still
below them lies the glass and the daisies fall through air
while crystal clear waters crumble rock into black sand
and through and through this pounding is the blinking of an eye
shutter fast and closing on the world of nightmare sky

i fell into oblivion,
from the shores of Beyond Death
its waters were vermillion
a thousand colors under black
i fell into oblivion
and held the seawaves in my arms
but even as the fog came in,
and my mind was slipping away
there was a catch- an infernal life vest
and my lungs still struggled for air.

i fell into oblivion, my sketchbook held me up
my pencil my oars,
the spine my rest
grey and white drawings held me in their hands
oblivion, they said, it's not as it seems
it's not what you want
stay here with me
don't let go of the pencil, it's keeping you sane
each stroke that you touch pencil to page
you're drawing your heartbeats
in monochrome grey

i fell into oblivion, and washed on the shores
of black sand and grey sand-
Life at its Worst
but i managed to crawl a little farther up the shore
the sand turned to white, the clouds swept away
but still back behind me
oblivion tugged on its rope
and collapsing, i gasped
my heart tugged out of my throat

i saw my own heart lying red on the sand
soon followed my lungs
still taking in air
and i died on the beach, my bones scattered bout
but still i resisted,  
dying wasn't for me yet
so i picked up my pencil
sand stuck to the tip
it made little furrows in the shining bright sand

and when i couldn't hold my pencil at all
that's when i really died-
my soul was no more
but i didn't swim back into the black sea
i drifted away on a cloud made for me
left behind my body, my organs, my bones
around them the words, carved into the sand
-the world is my sketchbook-
-i shall not be destroyed-

wish upon a star, a star
fly up into that dark velvet sky
join your hands with the star-people's hands
and wish upon a star, a star

seventy three wishes, granted for you
or maybe- just given, by the star-people's hands
ride up upon a star in the sky
whirl in deep space and watch the world fly

but oh- don't wish too oft on a star
the star-people's hands might pull you away
and take all your gifts, a reciept in the bag
and tell you goodbye, it's been such a good time

soon you won't know the star-people at all
except in your dreams, on some summer's nights
the sky opens up and you see their bright faces
wish, they will say- and become one of our stars.

when the ghost of a song still lingers in your ears
and melancholy bones all shake the world down
cause in the darkness it cant be everything or all
while the wind goes drifting and drifting along
hey girl, can you ask the whispers in your ears
why my hands shake so much when i clench them in the sheets
hey girl, ask the wind why its gotta look at me
with a thousand grey eyes that say the world is gonna end
the ceiling falls down and the floor falls up and i fly out out in the intricalities
while the eyes eyes stare and whisper in your ears
hey girl hey girl can you write can you feel

Tremble, my darling, I tremble for you
My bones, white and brittle, they tremble too
This life is too short for you to be true
So tremble, you say, and tremble I do.

Soft winged doves fly quick on the wind
But Darling I'm sure- they tremble too.
The mountains seem strong, stronger than sin
But Darling I know- that tremble they do.

In short, dearest Darling, when you have long gone
The world out in space will tremble for you

what
if
i
tookabreakfromlife
what
if
my
heartturnedblackasice
-but-
i
know
i
won'tbedyingsoon
-so-­
i'll
on-
ly
cursemypellucidmind

ring, ring, ring around
join hands, sing a song
ring, ring, ring around
till we die and lie in daisies

do they sell emotions
in teapots by the street
i'll take the blue and white one
checkered like a dorothy dress-

could i buy emotions
to pour them out in porcelain
what's the cost? a penny apiece
for the teapots by the street-

drink them up, for an hour
maybe i'd feel love
recipt, madam? yes please
i'll take my penny-bought tea-

i would buy emotions
in teapots by the street
here you are, love- take it please
one less teapot by the street

what is eloquency
how can i spin a ribbon made out of letters do i get an instruction manual all bound up in fake leather with thin smooth smooth pages and tiny creeping lines of words upon words
if i read enough words, maybe they'll leave a mark on my heart and then i can spin them back out again
drop them on the page, a drop of ink landing as type-written letters all smudged gray and printed on thicker strong paper
and the words, oh the words, i'll soon know them all
i can spit them back out into candy colored shapes whirling and twirling around in the air
mesmerizing people with the sound of their letters
i'd like to be a wordsmith, a manipulator of words

what was a starshine, that night, that night?
was it a sequin, embroidered in sky?
look through the glass, and tell me, my love-
what is a starshine? what could it be?

scientists, men of such knowledge and lore
they say the starshine isn't much more
than a flaming gas comet trapped in one place
but stars can't be comets, can they, my love?
what is a comet? can i see one?

where is the starshine, my love, my love?
filling the galaxy- long past death's light?
that's what they said, that's what you said
but can you be sure, just by looking through the glass?

i am the star lord, and i want to fly
shake hands with star people, giving off their light
then i can see for myself what is there
far far in space