I saw that book
you left on our desk.
My desk.
I could not open it.
Not even look.

I found those photos
we kept in our closet.
My closet.
I tore them apart.
Your head to your toes.

That letter you wrote me
in red marker that
bled from our tears.
My tears.
It's gone now.
Waste of a tree.

You signed it "Forever Yours"
It was not ours.
You were mine.
So I thought.  
No drop of water shall
ever touch these lonesome shores.

A boy told me he loved me the other day.
I looked at him, confused,
and told him not to love me.
Not to waste something so valuable on something so insignificant.
So he simply put his arms around my broken bones and told me instead,
“I adore you.
I adore all your quirks,
I adore all your dreams,
I adore all your scars,
I adore all your faults,
I adore you.”

It is a lighter burden to be adored than loved.

The scar on my thumb,
The one left from
That broken
Dragon figurine
Whose sharp edge
Nearly sliced off
My finger;
Ya know,
The demon face thing
I swore had
Bad karma
But slipped in
my pocket
And brought home
From the party anyway?
Well it stares
At me every night
With its menacing eyes
And taunting smile,
And reminds me
Of the night
That my fingerprint
Was changed,
As was
Our history.
Forbidden kisses
Under my sheets
Cause it won't matter
tomorrow, right?

Well I've been
picking at the scab
Every time
I think of you
and yet,
It's still healing.

Wish I could
Say the same
For my sanity.

The gentle pulse of a wave hits my feet as I stare out to sea.
The gray horizon is empty of ships or life.
As I sit there I wonder why my dreams keep taking me here.
I feel lonely, yet I accept it.
There is a certain peace here that my loneliness in reality lacks.
I don't think of you, just that I have no one.

I want to move.
To walk along the shore, or go into the warm water,
But I remain where I stand,
Allowing the waves to gently beat their heartbeat rhythm at my feet.
But it's then that I realize I'm not alone.
The ocean is my wordless companion, like a hand on my shoulder,
Telling me that I am strong enough, good enough,
I am enough.

I'm slipping out of people's minds,
I'm just a girl that's left behind.

Right now I'm just a wasted space,
I guess I should have been replaced.

Am I a fool?
To actually think
Of promise as a powerful tool?

My best friend
From my previous school
Has long forgotten
The promises we made,
My birthday, my existence,
And our memories that start to fade.

Is it worse,
To see her wish
Someone else instead of me?
A "Happy Birthday!" on others' walls,
Mock at me and how I fall.

My mind is still stuck in the past,
One thing that will never last.

Awakened by a rooster at morn,
I realize that people just
Move on.

If you're late,
No one will wait.
At this rate,
It depends on fate.

People come,
And people go,
When they're done,
They'll just be gone.

The cycle repeats,
And one fine day,
I guess I'll just be
Simply
Forgotten.

I wanna kiss it
but its so hard
not sure how to bring it against my lips
and then my fingers up and slip
So soft
the place you make between my shoulders as they stand
the truth in your presence
the defautl in your eyes
unlike the lovely demise
in the powerful
but full of histories of deciet and self succumed lies
in a cloud on a pillar high
this is where I thought I might die
but death isnt the only escape
when beauty surrounds you from your mistakes
filters in through your insides
it leads you to a moutain top so high
the snow fall cleans you of your ***** hide
kiss you touch ouy
never call you mine
because I know better

not to contain higher things
clip thier wings

I gave my heart, I gve my soul
to the wronged of those

may I rest by your side
my ribcage exposed
to the love you know
from my touch
from my gental spirit
the light from behind my eyes
that reaches and finally does it touch
you heal me inside
you slip your sweet medicine between my lips
you swindle your breateh of life
I dont fight you with my hips
into my worried eyes
I fear not
not any more
so long as you are here
I can let go of this rope
lay your worried bones next to mine
and I'll do my very best to buy us this time
may the clock stop
as it does for the dead
because we are heaven lieing in your bed

kiss me once
kiss me twice
and I'll kiss you thrice
my worries drop as does this plunder
my thoughts roll from us like defeated thunder
I hold you whole
I hold you tight
I give you the same freedom, I give you the same rights
I heard you speak
of whats in your head
I'm smilling for the things you dont know that of which you said
fumbling in your sleep
you craddle my crown
as I dose myself in the sweet silent sound

I am fawn white
I am pure irridescent light
cloaked in darkness
hidden from sight
so that the goodness might prevail
even during teh trials of night

You, with orbs in your antlers
with moons on your tongue
you dont chase me
I realize I mustnt run
The power with in you
sends me still
even so, I am reeled
for the dangers I've met
for the dreams
I stir
I feel the safety in this allure
you sparkle in my eyes
from inside you
I see us side by side
standing tall
for authority we call

together we are safe
and with tired eyes
I will keep you warm and safe
to any and all expendeture
we are fair
a deiety in of itself
we are desired for being rare

I'm gonna wear
my weathered cardigans
and be swallowed by the pack
of Seattle commutes
with my vinyl records in one hand,
a guitar in the other,
and a backpack full of
J. Kerouac and C. Bukowski
and R. Adams and L. Cohen.

I gonna live
off of the San Francisco Bay saltwater
and the bummed cigarettes outside
of bars that play nicotine music
to my ears.

I'm gonna sleep
on the ground in front of cookie-cutter houses
with their fence posts painted white.
I'll feel my psyche strum its last chord
and soon I'll be gone
without a sound.

I'm gonna die
in a new town where nobody knows my name.
I'll be a Chicago artist
full of New York poetry,
a Great Britain romantic
full of Alameda Victorian architecture,
or a Nebraska idiot
full of Midwest ambition.