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 May 2013 Ivie
pyrdx
Untitled
 May 2013 Ivie
pyrdx
people will try to trick you
into believing everything will be okay
when even they have lost all hope
trying to save desperate souls,
stuck in melancholy,
dreaming of bliss,
wandering in circles,
searching for a way out,
but there is no way out
and no one will ever be found
 May 2013 Ivie
pyrdx
Untitled
 May 2013 Ivie
pyrdx
there was a girl
who tied balloons to her wrists
and floated far far away,
over the mountains,
past the moon,
and beyond the stars,
for she never wanted to return
to the place she once called home
 May 2013 Ivie
pyrdx
reading
 May 2013 Ivie
pyrdx
reading can be a very dangerous thing,
you fall in love,
with people who don't exist,
and memories that never happened.
Gravity:
What goes up,
must come down.
That's what Science tells us.

And though I've never felt
the need to understand things,
only people,
I find myself circling around the
concept of gravity,
and how well it plays with
eastern ideology, with death.

After the spirit ascends,
It must come, crashing, back down
to Earth.
Sparking against the surface
as a new soul, a new way of being.

I've always been told
to read between the lines,
and maybe I've been treating my textbook
like a work of fiction,
but what if gravity is just
a metaphor for obsessive affection,
and reincarnation it's very
toxic enabler?

What if we're just stuck
in limbo, until the Earth
learns how to let us go?
I've always dreamed
of standing atop tall buildings.
I guess the romance with height
stems from my small stature.
There is nothing more seductive
than peering over, toes on
the edge, and knowing the
one and only outcome of a
misstep.

You can run the risk
of saying the wrong thing
to the right person, but
when leaping from a skyscraper,
one will always find
you fall.
I fell in love with a boy at a coffee shop
who always ordered vanilla chai.
I knew it was love because I could
never get up the courage to speak to him.

I fell in love with a bony fingered,
anorexic boy in my math class.
I think it was the way he did the problems in his head,
so he could use the paper for listing
everything he wanted to eat that day, but wouldn’t.

I fell in love with a girl who had dreadlocks
and burn marks on her neck.
I always fantasized about touching them,
asking if they still warmed up her skin.

I fell in love with the older man at the tutoring center.
I failed Spanish so that I could spend the next semester
eye ******* him from across the study table.
I've always had a thing for married men.

I fell in love with girl who pushed up her
*****, and pouted for football players.
It may have been unrequited,
but at least I didn’t catch anything.

I fell in love with the person
who left death threats in my locker.
I’d never known someone who felt
the same way about me as I did.
I tell you that I just want
to be wanted.
Needed the way a lock
needs the safe feel of
it's key's cool skin,
the gentle memory of it's
perfect cuts and curves.
If only we could open up
our lovers the way
we open our front door.

Maybe it was how you wore pain.
The way your tears, lazy little rivers on
your perfect face, would wash down in
chaotic lines. Prisoners of emotion
trying desperately to escape being absorbed
back into the flesh prison of your skin.
Skin that used to soothe my fears as
my fingertips put on a ballet across its surface.
Smelling of cool autumn promises, blue sky "I love you"s,
and thoroughly damp memories. Slightly marred
with emotional pock marks and raised
scar tissue that mapped out your life
in a secret language known only to you and the blade.

I'm pretty sure
you'll forever feel like home to me.
As broken as that home may be.
This morning I read your name for the very first time.
The sad thing is, any other day, I would have just seen a name.
But today I saw a cinderblock on the vital organs of those left in your wake.
Laying heavy in the mouths of those trying to remember the
importance of breathing, of moving on.

Today we are forced to remember that no one is ever just a name.
You were a heartbeat. A soul.
A vibration of the universe that felt anger and pain and love.

Someone should have told you that, the night you tried to find wings.
For the boy who took his life at LU. It is the world that has failed you, not you who has failed the world. Rest in peace.
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