ili - Hello Poetry

ili May 2014

gone

I walk for miles,
Mind hazy from the lack of oxygen.
My lungs evaporate.
Stumbling over my thoughts,
I refer to all that lay around me.
Wishing I was elsewhere.
Imagining I was walking through
loud mountains and quiet valleys.
Wishing I was gone.
Wishing I was elsewhere.

ili May 2014

apart \ a part

The smell of earth stains my body.
Am I a part of nature?
Or
Am I apart from nature?
I seek depths too complex for the human soul.
I have a pure lust to be nothing less than nature.
Nothing else fills me up with content like the notion that
I could live in peace until the day I diminish.
Peace.
All my desire flies to the nonexistent limitations of peace.
How amazing would it be,
To permanently
Be stained by the earth.
To permanently
Be stained by the aura of earth.
To permanently
Be in peace.

ili May 2014

what i want

What is it I want?
I want someone to hold me.
I want someone to know when to start and when to stop.
I want someone to look me in my eyes and tell me it's okay and watch as my heart begins to piece itself back together.
I want someone to be with me constantly, but not say a word.
So I won't be held to a high expectation to keep the laughter echoing and the smiles effortless.
I want them to know that I am not okay, but I am.
What is it I want.
I want someone to hold me.

Not one of my best, in a way I don't consider this a poem but it's been eating at me.

ili May 2014

what I'll never understand

You consume my dreams.
The one escape I have is reality.
How is it that,
you've found a way to consume that too.

ili May 2014

our mind

my thoughts beckon to me-
they command to be heard.
the constant chatter of lullabies that trace my dreams are nightmares.

i find it quite humorous.

our mind is our own,
we have full ownership.
yet.
our mind owns us.
we tell ourselves we cannot be controlled, we can only control.
but.
our mind slices our veins allowing us to contemplate the outcome of every single drop of blood evacuating the premises of our body,
our mind pushes us
to over think
constructing a maze,
succeed or fail.
either way,
our minds beckon us.
to believe
we only have two choices
life
or
death.

for those people who over think, those who try so hard to be thought-free but are in a never ending marathon they feel they're bound to lose. i keep telling myself to control the mind, do not allow the mind to control you.

ili May 2014

giving up

i fall back upon the lashes that have marked my back,
i wonder.
how have i gotten this far?
rewinding back to a time,
seven days worth of tears ago,
i wondered.
how can i not go far, how can i eliminate my existence
in the
most
profound way.
i fall back upon the lashes that have marked my back,
i have fallen
repeatedly.
perhaps life is the hardest to endure,
so
giving up is too easy.
i want to be known for being something,
not doing something.

subliminal, i suppose.

ili Apr 2014

new

the first time we are introduced to new surroundings,
our eyes are wild with curiousity.
the first time we meet someone,
our eyes are starving
ready to devour the very human being in hopes that this someone might finally give us life.

the first time we are introduced to life,
we are anew, we are naive, we are excited, we are not who we are when we start to realize the obstacles that will cross our paths.

After we are introduced to new surroundings,
After we meet someone for the first time,
After we are introduced to life itself,
Our eyes lose their
Curiousity
Excitement
Hunger
and all else.
Our eyes turn stale from realization.

Everything looks hopeful at first sight.

If first glances are what it takes to be overcome with hopefulness, hunger, excitement and curiousity,
Perhaps, it would be most ideal to see everything in the first perspective.