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  2d eliana
Lyle
Second choice
Backup
Therapist friend
Thats me
Don’t answer my texts
Don’t hear my calls
But I answer you
The second you cry
Say you’ll come get me
Then you don’t
Im sorry
I hate this
  2d eliana
Lyle
So I became the person
I always needed in my life
The safe space
The tell me your issues
And I won’t put mine on you
Person
I become who I needed
The soft speaking
Gentle handed
Open hearted
Safe space
  2d eliana
Lyle
I don’t know what’s going to happen
I don’t know what the outcome will be
And that
To me
Is the scariest part
Of everything
  2d eliana
Lyle
Is this going to fix everything
Or make it all worse
Did I make the right choice
Or did I ruin everything
Is this going to bring peace
Or cause more chaos and turmoil
I don’t know
And that scares me
  2d eliana
Lyle
I am taking deep breaths
But I still can’t breathe
Crushing weight
Of anxiety
My fingers are shaking
And I’m holding back tears
eliana 5d
oooh! i say
as the blade slices
ouch! i say
as the blood flows,
and the scars grow.

you cut to get rid of the pain
but its just like a boomerang.

you slice and heal, and slice and heal,
never-ending moments of "this can't be real"

oh its real.
havent wrote in a while
eliana Aug 23
Oh night, dear night. Don't you see the moon shine?
Even as the sun rests, light can still be found.
Stars scattered like diamonds in the dark.
Dancing like fireflies, glowing like sparks.
Don't you see me when you look up the sky?
Faintly beaming with light that isn't mine?
Comforting you until dawn, gentle and warm.
Healing all the ache, soothing as a balm.
But my dearest night, the glow does not last
The moon cannot provide the blaze it lacks.
Time and time again, it becomes dark once more.
Gone, banished, no one glances back like before.
All the lux from the warmth of a burning star.
Not mine-- only a vessel from afar
I smile like I mean it, show what they want.
No frown can be found. A reflection, a front.
The stars look down at shattered glass on the ground.
A mirror and a recorder that imitates sounds.
I will never be a bright celestial above.
When I only copy the smile they know and love.
Who am I when I am not the guide at dusk?
Or when I am not the reflection they asked?
Am I the ball that shines only with the sun
Or the mirror that only shows you the fun?
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