I know I'm not pretty,
I don't want your pity.
I know I'm not hot,
I know I don't mean a lot.

I know I'm not masculine,
Do I need discipline?
I know people say they care but do they?
I don't believe a word they say.

I know I should be happy,
I should be grateful for what I have.
I shouldn't feel sappy,
I should act brave.

Would the world care if I died?
Or would they think I went to hide?
Would they care if I wasn't here tomorrow?
Would they feel even an ounce of sorrow?

None of my friends get it;
They all think I'm throwing a fit.
They don't know what its like to feel replaceable,
I don't feel embraceable.

I wish they understood.
I wish I could talk about it with the people I care about,
But they make me feel more misunderstood.
They ignore how my mind constantly fills with doubt.

What do I do?
I don't have a single clue,
A single match in this never ending darkness,
Please give me a harness.

I am a child of God,
Lord hear my prayers
but am I the one not listening
I try to figure out the game
yet I struggle and cave
I know I am not perfect
but isnt that what you came for
help the broken, lost, and wounded
weren't you once human too?
thy will be done
I say this every night
but am I the one pulling
away
away
away
I ask for forgiveness
yet i dont forgive myself
I'm afarid of my futrue
where am I to go
what do you want from me
who am I
these thoughts fill my mind
as a reach to grab your BODY and BLOOD
and say "the body of Christ"
You will guide me
You will save me
You are my everything
You
"I created You
I know how many hairs are on your head
I know your suffering,
When I died on the cross
I thought of YOU
You are worth more than many sparrows."

I've been blessed with this curse to put my thoughts into words
Yet it feels like I'm heartless as i put my heart into this verse
These words tumbling around and round
Never making sense as they beat me down
Curses from blessings
Yet the pain that I've gained from
This game called life
This pain that'll cut sharper, harsher, deeper than
Any Knife
A pain called lessons derived from
These sticks and stones that mold me
Shinning a brighter than bright light for the world over to see
Yet over and over again like Autumn i
Shall fall
Tripped up and caught up in these
Words that i say
Even as they torment me from day to day
I showed you one side now I'll show you the other
As these miscellaneous thoughts branch off to the deepest depths of my mind
Showing a darker side yet to be revealed
Yet has yet to be sealed properly
Trust me when i say I'm offering this once in a life time chance more rare than winning the lottery
To show what has plagued me
From a day to day basis

if the world would simply stop,
rest awhile, and not talk,
in the voices loud of ringing bells,
that would be where moonlight dwells.