it's suffocating, trying to breathe, head throbs, jaw clenching, eyes sore from staring too long at everything, at nothing, at the distance, wards, knowing there is nothing there anymore, there never was. trying to breathe the thick air. jaw sore; trying to see find witness an action, a wisp, jaw sore from trying to hold a breath of air, trying to hold something, it's in my blood. i don't know if there is a way back, was it always this way, eyes sore. it's in the blood, when i was born, a gift, handed down to me.