I've written of you,
A million times,
But never felt,
The lack of a beat.

I've spoken of you,
Like a villainess tyrant,
But never felt,
This taste of defeat.

My heart is gone,
The light is killed,
Darkness swarms,
A haze it fills.

I'll fight no more,
I'll always be yours,
But this love of ours,
Is your sweetest ****.

You ripped my soul,
You took it away,
You can burn it now,
It holds no weight.

Love is painful,
It's never around the corner,
But while I fight onwards,
You slipped in the blade.

The fault was mine,
I let you lose,
A treasure cove,
Invites the rotten few.

I loved you more,
Than I thought I could,
I let you fall,
From my grasp too soon.

My heart is gone,
It's buried deep,
What beats inside,
Is death's own keep.

Our dreams, our dreams,
Our withering dreams.
As we walk forward,
We leave them be.

Yesterday's pilot,
Today walk on the streets.
A devoted husband's forever,
Destroyed by his wife's *******.

Our dreams, our dreams,
Those playful fantasies,
Watch how they die,
Like lust through *******.

Remember the rocketman,
Who discovered Mars's sea?
You looked for him all over,
Now he never lets you be.

Your past is a mirror,
Of your failures and defeats.
Each botched interview,
Each failed college degree.

Our dreams, our dreams,
They aren't quite how they used to be.
An opportune future,
Is a past that failed to be.

Our dreams, our dreams,
They never let us sleep.
They haunt your every moment,
They're nightmares imagined as realities.

It's okay you're strong,
You'll brave another day,
Of the beast on your shoulders.

It's okay you're strong,
Stop being so pessimistic,
Everyone dances to this song.

It's okay you're strong,
Fear and panic at 12am,
Is normal and to be expected.

It's okay you're strong,
We're meant to be workers,
And expected to always respond.

It's okay you're strong,
Your silence will be rewarded,
With promotions and growth.

It's okay you're strong,
Bullying is considered normal,
After all a client always wants more.

It's okay you're strong,
No need to speak up,
You'll not be heard no matter how much you shout.

It's okay you're strong...
But it's also okay if you're not

It's okay if you're not strong,
Your emotions are yours,
And to be defeated is better than to be destroyed.

It's okay if you're not strong,
You can walk out if you want,
It doesn't make you any weaker.

It's okay if you're not strong,
You can talk to me,
And I'll always guide you on.

It's okay if you're not strong,
Your strength isn't defined by the world around you.
It's okay if you're not strong.

I'm living under water,
Breathing my last breath,
I'm in a perpetual state of bardo,
My existence between life and death.

Alcohol isn't numbing,
I look for a harder fix,
I need to remember,
What a heartbeat feels like.

I look at self destruction,
The immolation of my soul,
As the sweetest form of poetry,
My symphony number 4.

I'm floating somewhere high,
Or is it down below?
Days and nights seem to fly,
Time has lost its hold.

Existentiality is fleeting,
Insomnia feels like a rabbit hole,
The falling lasts forever,
The end is invitingly close.

Voices seem to echo,
Faces seem to blur,
People melt into one another,
Is there someone knocking at the door?

The scabs seem to be growing,
Yet I don't remember getting hurt,
I scratch at nothing,
Is that where my skin was?

There's a battle every morning,
And as evening comes to a close,
I wonder if I've won this round,
Or lost the war of my world.

I'm diving into darkness,
Swimming to glint below,
But is that the stairway to heaven,
Or Hades final call.

My controller seems to be broken,
The X no longer works,
As I seem to be jumping,
To someone else's tune.

The battery seems alright,
So I give it a fine wack,
I try one more time,
To take my character's life back.

He seems to be running,
Like a man on a mission,
To some unknown destination,
No arrows to guide him.

This independence is haunting,
Like a cut-scene from his life,
I wonder if he knows,
He's coded to move and sigh.

I'm aware he's going to win,
But I wonder if he knows?
His life is written in binary,
His world is made of ones and zeros.

He seems so sure and confident,
As I wonder about his dreams,
Does he want to move forever,
To someone else's beats?

And as he completes his missions,
One objective at a time,
I see a haunting similarity,
Between his world and mine.

The only difference is,
Who's really free?
The charterer of my video game,
Or is it really me?

My shadow speaks in prose's tall,
Of where it's been and the things it saw.
Of mountain peaks and valleys long,
My shadow could write a travel blog.

I alas can't say the same,
Though I've visited all the places same.
My worries and my fearful heart,
Couldn't quite fathom this extricate art.

A prisoner of my shouting mind,
The words aren't silent, the fear divine.
An orange jumpsuit, is what I've adorned,
All my life without a single cloth on.

Locks and chains are lighter still,
Than the shakles of this panicked *****.
I'd trade my mind, I'd give it up,
I'd make it silent with that powdery white stuff.

I crave for silence in a quite room,
A moment of peace, some quietude.
I wish to travel like my shadow does,
Living and experiencing, not a reflective stop.