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I'm having a moment
that I don't wish to return to
but that doesn't make me want to run
I feel mild pain in my heart
but I'm confident that I can bear through it.
Every second: feel less.
It's such a nice day
the kind you want to feel good in
a walk would be lovely.
If only I had the time,
my heart needs the time.
I felt calm then
all noise seized, and calm settled in.
The grass was bright,
I was alone.
The leaves were colour when they rustled
under my feet.
And I took a moment
And I looked around
And saw the life I was in.
Appreciated what I'm in control of,
and simply smiled at what I'm not.
Let's* just sit on the beach 'til the sun don't shine and feel serene while we drink white wine,
let's take pride in how we spend our days and pray we'll never end this phase.
I understand
that you must have some things to sort out,
and that life
doesn't like to follow our plans.
I welcome you to be my bully,
the one I've yet to have.
It's alright you can do that,
I'll last through it
like there's no tomorrow.
BUT do not
expect me to act like we're
We aren't
I'm gonna make eye contact with you
every time you look at me.
I can fake laugh too baby,
in your face.
But I saw the tears,
that had to have been relevant.
I mean,
center of attention as always,
but still, they existed.
So when what I did hurt you,
and you found something to laugh at,
found someone to hurt too,
I only felt sad for you.
When what shouldn't matter to you,
I stepped away from it all,
and observed.
BUT you have to now realise,
that I'll fight you for what I want,
because you've made it impossible for me to
let you win.
And no,
he isn't what I want.
I want something more important
than that.
You can have what you let go of if you wish,
good luck convincing him.
I want what you don't deserve,
and I do.
So I'll have it.
Because I know what I want.
Always have.
I hope that you regret it,
because all I can hold out for is your apology.
I can't move forward,
I want to remember you kind, not destructive.
don't leave it this way.
Liars lie
Disguise ugly with a veil they see as more beautiful
Sometimes, I like liars
I'll walk down that hallway
and I'll feel the vibration of the bass
and I'll love that. 
That feeling running up my legs
through my heart 
and into my brain
where it matters. 

And I'll walk through that hallway
even though I'll breath in smoke
and I'll hate that. 
As you blow it in my face,
my anger,
and **** me inside
where it stings.
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